Some reassurement? Some criticisim?

[stronger_than_this]

So I guess I should start at the beginning of this very long and crazy story.

 

It all began during my freshman year of high school when i met a senior guy that seemed really great, but when my friends told me i didn't really have a chance, being a silly freshman girl i believed them and sort of moved on.

 

We had a lot of mutual friends and common interests so i would see him around and we were just friendly, but that summer when I ran into him at a concert one thing led to another and we hooked up. It was all really fun and innocent, and I didn't expect anything to come of it with him going away to college and all so after the night was over nothing had changed. Until we saw each other at another concert and the same thing happened. I wont deny i had a big crush on him, but again it was just innocent fun.

 

Towards the end of the summer, i got up the nerve to text him and to my surprise it led to us hanging out until a few hours before he had to leave to drive to school, six hours away.

 

Over the next few months he kept talking to me and we started to have feelings for each other and come winter break we began dating. We would see each other whenever he would come home for breaks and the occasional long weekend, but we were constantly talking and eventually I was able to visit him at school a few times too. Two years later when he comes home for summer break he tells me that he really cares about me but the distance is too much and we break up. At first I was devastated but then I realized it was for the better, and we remained friends. It was my senior year at this point and by the end of it I had chosen to go to a college that was a two hour drive from his. That summer, after a year of being broken up, he was studying abroad over that time we managed to skype almost every day, and when he returned home we decided that neither of us were done with the relationship and decided to try again, which again was as perfect as an LDR could be until it got too hard and come December, I ended things. But again after a few months our attempts to be “just-friends” failed and we continued to be intimate and act like were a couple.

 

We talked about it and decided that neither of us wanted to be together long distance and since there was no possibility for us to be in the same area without compromising our goals, we would continue to be friends and whatever else until such a time came, and try to see if there was something else out there for us in the meantime.

 

Since then, he has finished college and moved across the country to pursue his career goals and I am close to finishing undergrad. In this time neither of us has met anyone, and I partly blame our arrangement (we still talk nearly every day, and that makes it hard to give anyone else a chance). I recently flew out to see him and it kills me because the time we spend together is perfect, so it makes the loneliness of begin apart even worse.

 

After college I am taking some time off to work before I continue to grad school, but the profession I am perusing is not location dependent, unlike his. I think that at this point I need to just take a leap of faith and move there out to be with him.

 

I figure, if the relationship gets a solid chance and fails it will give both of us the closure we need to call it quits because what keeps us coming back is the possibility that we really are perfect for each other. I think that as long as in taking this chance I don’t compromise my professional goals, it can only do good… right?

 

I guess what I’m asking, and kind of hoping is that someone can give some insight or share a positive experience because at this point I’m disheartened and feel sort of silly, but I also know that I am a smart, beautiful, confident woman and I am sick of feeling lonely when I shouldn't have to.

[Forever Learning]

Well as you have surely seen in this long distance relationship section of this board, long distance relationships are difficult things. You know this, you've lived it a while now.

 

I say, life is about risks. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Rather than spend the rest of your life wondering what could have been, I say go for it and consider moving out near him to see how it all shakes out. But that is a very bold decision. But, at least you will have given the relationship a shot. Others may disagree. The unhappiness of being in limbo, is the real bummer in my opinion. Read all you can around here, to get a wide variety of opinions. God bless.