Bito Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 A week ago i thought everything was going fine. I was a little down but at least i was healthy and being active in my life. Then out of the blue a mass formed on my neck and it turns out to be lymphoma. I already have Crohns disease so i am no stranger to harsh illnesses but this is still really difficult to find out as I am only 22. Well now to my love life. So about a 9 months ago i found out that my first love and the women I thought I was going to marry had been cheating on me while she was going to school in a different state. I was devastated and broke it off. She then goes on to date the guy she was seeing. I have maintained strict no contact for just about the entire duration. I have worked so hard at getting over what happened and becoming happy with just myself. While i have made significant progress from where I was when it happened 9 months ago i still have deep feelings for her and i probably always will. I heard from a mutual friend about a month ago my ex and her boyfriend had broken up. I was surprised how much this news affected me but i resisted the urge to contact her as i knew it would be a bad idea. Fast forward to now. I told the mutual friend about my condition and she passed on the news to my ex. She also told me how my ex broke down in tears upon hearing about me. The next day I heard from my ex. I thought I never would but I did. She asked how i was doing and we start talking for a bit. She then tells me how she is and always has been madly in love with me. That she thinks about me every day. That i was her everything. That she so so sorry for what happened and wishes she could do anything to take it back. Now at this point I just dont know what to do. I love her still. Very much. But at the same time I am so very afraid of going threw the heartbreak again. My mind has so much going on and I just want to be happy... I just want to be with her but im so afraid... Thank you for taking the time to read this.
youngster Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I am so sorry to hear about your condition, Bito. You are in my prayers. As for your love life, I would concentrate on ridding your body of this cancer before taking on any other distractions. If what she says is true, she'll be there when you recover. God bless you, and may you have a speedy recovery. 4
othersideofthepillow Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 i am so sorry to hear of your condition and i pray that you are able to beat it fast and return to a healthy life! i am in a similar situation that my ex has contacted me through a recent tragedy. it is not a health issue of my own but my mother passed away suddenly a few weeks ago. although your ex is single. mine is not. its going on 9 months since we split and 5 months of dating her new guy. i was doing better getting over here and it seems that every time we are on our way to getting over them, they contact us. like youngster said you need to focus on getting healthy. has she said she wants to get back together also or are you assuming she does? this is a big step in your emotional state and what you expect from her contact. dont hope for something that she has a completely different view of the outcome....that is where the heartbreak will come from my friend
Author Bito Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 Thank you both for the kind replies. I know waiting seems like the smart choice but It would make me so happy to have her back in my life again. And i could really use a lift right about now... I appreciate the concern otherside but i can assure you she wants to get back together. there is no misunderstanding there.
othersideofthepillow Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Bito i would do anything to have the woman that still has my heart be there for me the day i lost my mother and now as i try and live my life without her. if there is no misunderstanding, and you KNOW 100%, that she wants to get back together you need to decide right away. I know your scared of heartbreak again trust me, but think about it this way....if you both still love each other and you can both put the past in the past and start fresh than why not? obv you need to take things slow and learn each other again but if the feelings she still has for you are genuine and im sure yours for her are as well...the time you have spent apart is enough waiting. if you both want it - take it! you cant live your life scared or wondering what if. you may be hurt yes....but you may be missing out on a even better relationship than you guys had before.
youngster Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Whatever you do, I wish you the best. I have a very close relative who, battled cancer and also dealt with the stress of wanting someone very important in her life. The two of the, decided to putty and put their differences aside and reconcile because of the condition. At times things really started to look great, then at the turn of a dime old skeletons would come out of the closet and they would be fighting again. While going through chemotherapy, the added stress really wasnt good for her. I know you really want her back in your life, but I just ask that you think things over carefully. I picked up a quote here on LS and I really like it. Thought I'd share it with you. Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
youngster Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Whatever you do, I wish you the best. I have a very close relative who, battled cancer and also dealt with the stress of wanting someone very important in her life. The two of them decided to put their differences aside and reconcile because of the condition. At times things really started to look great, then at the turn of a dime old skeletons would come out of the closet and they would be fighting again. While going through chemotherapy, the added stress really wasnt good for her. I know you really want her back in your life, but I just ask that you think things over carefully. I picked up a quote here on LS and I really like it. Thought I'd share it with you. Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
Frank13 Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 The next day I heard from my ex. I thought I never would but I did. She asked how i was doing and we start talking for a bit. She then tells me how she is and always has been madly in love with me. That she thinks about me every day. That i was her everything. That she so so sorry for what happened and wishes she could do anything to take it back. . If someone who feels like this cheats on you, what would they do if they started losing feelings for you, kill you and chop you up into tiny pieces? I think she is only saying this because she just broke up with her boyfriend. I wouldn't believe a word of it. 1
Nancy B Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I'm so sorry about your illness. I wish you a speedy recovery. If you truly believe your ex is sorry and you are ready to forgive her you should give it another go. Maybe take things slow at first. A lot of great advice was given here but at the end of the day it's a decision only you can make. Best of luck.
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