HeartacheIsHurtingMe Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Hi everyone, I'm not sure if this would have been a post on the "second chances" message board. but anyway, I'm really having trouble coping with the loss of my last bf. we have been broken up for just more than 3 years now, but I still feel longing for him. Sadly, I was the one who called for the break up, but now when I look back, it was really really a rash decision, I didn't think twice about talking our problems over, I just reacted from how I felt. I felt really guilty because he tried to repair the wounds and I arrogantly rejected him. And I haven't had a bf since, I have sort of lost my confidence in dating, I hope to meet new people that are like my ex, but you don't find 2 of the same people in this world. I don't know why I feel this way... I heard from friends that since we broke up, he moved up north. I haven't spoken to him since the day we broke up, well that was until 2 days ago when I saw him at a club. He noticed me and I noticed him. I really wanted to talk to him, but I'm a really shy person in character, and maybe I was just scared.. It was like an undescribable feeling when I noticed him. I felt...uneasy. My friends , who know how much I long for him, kept pushing me to approach him, but I just shyed away. Eventually, he DID come up to me, and he said "Hi". I frooze, I just didn't know what to say, I wasn't even looking back at him. But after a couple of seconds delay, I managed to bring the word "Hi" out of my mouth. He really looked shocked/sad, and just said "nice to meet you again" and he walked off to the bar & I immediately left the place. I really can't blame him for turning away because I probably acted like I didn't care about him and didn't want to talk to him when he approached me, but deep down inside, he doesn't know what I was feeling... If only I had looked him in the eyes.. as they say they eyes tell all feelings. I really miss him so much, and it was like God gave me a 2nd chance when he showed up, but I let it go. He's birthday is coming up this weekend, I don't know if I should drop him an e-mail to wish him. Is it wrong to do so, after not doing it at all for the past years since we broke up ? I really want to reach out to him and apologize , not just for what happened 2 days ago, but for my decision to end our relationship. I really need help, I don't know who to talk to about this anymore. Everyone has heard my sorry story. Thanks.
shopgrl Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Heartache- I'm sorry for the pain you are going through. I am curious as to why you broke the relationship off in the first place and how long you two dated. To still have strong feelings after three years says alot...I mean you must truly love this man. You wrote that you haven't dated any men....Have you tried dating over the past 3 years? Are you sure it's him your missing and not just having a boyfriend? Anyway, I can imagine the feeling in your heart when you saw him. I would have been speechless as well. He said to you "nice to meet you again", which sounds to me like he was being sarcastic... it has been 3 years... he probably wanted to talk to you but you didn't really respond to him well. I mean, I'm sure he didn't approach you just to say "hi" "nice to meet you again" and then walk away. I'm sure he intended on having some sort of conversation with you. If I were you, I'd send him a email wishing him happy birthday. let him know that you were really shocked to see him the other night and that's why you were at a loss for words, but that it was nice to see him. Maybe even write something to the effect that you would like to talk to him to see how he's doing. Personally, I wouldn't get into your relationship together or how you still care about him. I'm guessing that he will respond to your email so I'd just wait to see what he says before you go any further.
HeartacheIsHurtingMe Posted June 12, 2004 Posted June 12, 2004 Hi thanks for the advice.. I called it off because of a rash decision.. he just wasn't being himself anymore.. he was acting kinda funny in the sense that he always looked dead serious and always had something bothering him. I asked him a couple of times what was wrong and he just said "nothing".. after a while I got fed up and broke up with him. but now when I look back at it, there were so many things I could have did, like actually try to sit down with him for a proper conversation. hmmph. p/s we were together just over a year.. not very long. What I meant was that I haven't dated anybody or been in the dating game since I broke up with him. Its just that I can't seem to feel for other people, I guess unconciously my mind still thinks of him when I'm with someone new. Its like other men, they just don't seem to have the qualities of my ex, I don't know why I keep relating them to him.. maybe I look to highly of him. essh.. I don't even know what I'm trying to say.. I'm really confused. anyway I e-mailed him and wished him , and also told him what had actually happened.. fingers crossed , he will reply . . depression hurts the soul.
Recommended Posts