Author hotloader Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 What? What did he do that was bad? A hot girl came up to him he ignored her, she wanted him more and he still ignored her. She's not entitled to his attention. Thank you, and in response to your other post in this thread, yes. You can do it. It's pretty easy, and it was a real eye-opener for me for sure. I've noticed that most of the angry responses here appear to be estrogen-fueled, and that doesn't surprise me. Let me repeat myself when I say that I never intend to hurt anyone's feelings when I do this. If being rejected by a man in a bar hurts a woman's feelings however, then so what. They arbitrarily do it to men left and right, so it's a little hypocritical to be scornful at a man who chooses to apply the same...ahem..."discretion" regarding who he chooses to interact with and who he doesn't. 2
PlumPrincess Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Thank you, and in response to your other post in this thread, yes. You can do it. It's pretty easy, and it was a real eye-opener for me for sure. I've noticed that most of the angry responses here appear to be estrogen-fueled, and that doesn't surprise me. Let me repeat myself when I say that I never intend to hurt anyone's feelings when I do this. If being rejected by a man in a bar hurts a woman's feelings however, then so what. They arbitrarily do it to men left and right, so it's a little hypocritical to be scornful at a man who chooses to apply the same...ahem..."discretion" regarding who he chooses to interact with and who he doesn't. You gave her a signal that you were interested and to approach you and then you turned her down in order to get a boost for your ego. That's not the same as turning someone down, because you're not interested in them. 1
Author hotloader Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 You gave her a signal that you were interested and to approach you and then you turned her down in order to get a boost for your ego. That's not the same as turning someone down, because you're not interested in them. Wrong. I look and smile at a lot of people on a daily basis when I'm in public. It's called being polite. A two second glance and smile is hardly an implication of sexual interest, and the girl in question was rather presumptuous to assume that it was. I'd defend my position even further, but being that I'd be doing so to someone with the moniker "Princess" integrated into her screen name tells me that the next five to ten minutes of my life would be better spent reading the online weather report for my area. Cheers.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 OP... I get what your saying... but I think you are totally wrong on this one. You think there is some kind of power in rejection. That the ladies who reject you get off on it. Like it makes them feel powerful. It doesn't. Why? Because it isn't about power... it's about responsibility. They bear the consequences for their choices.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Even though I am a woman, my response was not "estrogen fueled." It was decency fueled.
norajane Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Wrong. I look and smile at a lot of people on a daily basis when I'm in public. It's called being polite. A two second glance and smile is hardly an implication of sexual interest, and the girl in question was rather presumptuous to assume that it was. In a bar, eye contact and a smile is considered flirting. You know this, so stop pretending. The LAST thing you were being is polite! And guys wonder why women don't approach guys more often...
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 In a bar, eye contact and a smile is considered flirting. You know this, so stop pretending. The LAST thing you were being is polite! And guys wonder why women don't approach guys more often... Well men should stop approaching women too. Because women do the same thing, often with great delight and happiness. It's like a sport. Sometimes what's good for the goose is good for the gander you know? 1
norajane Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Well men should stop approaching women too. Because women do the same thing, often with great delight and happiness. It's like a sport. Sometimes what's good for the goose is good for the gander you know? I don't know what kind of women you run across, but I sure have never toyed with a man all night like that only to deliberately try to humiliate him. That takes some conscious commitment to being a dick.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I don't know what kind of women you run across, but I sure have never toyed with a man all night like that only to deliberately try to humiliate him. That takes some conscious commitment to being a dick. Maybe it's my age group. But when you've got heaps of people interested, it makes it easier to toy around with them. This guy was just trying on a different pair of shoes for once. If he makes a habit of it maybe it will turn into a problem who knows.
Untouchable_Fire Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I don't know what kind of women you run across, but I sure have never toyed with a man all night like that only to deliberately try to humiliate him. That takes some conscious commitment to being a dick. I had a friend who really felt like the women rejecting him were cruel sadists. I could never really understand the issue until one day he came running to me and said... "Man you are not gonna want to believe this, but your GF was just hitting on me". I asked her about it later than evening... she said Hi to him while passing in the hallway. Her friends laughingly confirmed it. I realized that he felt that any female attention was a signal of interest... and when they turned him down he felt like it was some cruel jape.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I had a friend who really felt like the women rejecting him were cruel sadists. I could never really understand the issue until one day he came running to me and said... "Man you are not gonna want to believe this, but your GF was just hitting on me". I asked her about it later than evening... she said Hi to him while passing in the hallway. Her friends laughingly confirmed it. I realized that he felt that any female attention was a signal of interest... and when they turned him down he felt like it was some cruel jape. To be clear I don't think that any old passing conversation constitutes "interest". I'm talking about going up to some guy and feeling his arm touching him repeatedly, having a big smile on your face and laughing at everything he says, funny or not.
joystickd Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 In a bar, eye contact and a smile is considered flirting. You know this, so stop pretending. The LAST thing you were being is polite! And guys wonder why women don't approach guys more often... Where I'm from its being polite.
Emilia Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I know she didn't have a boyfriend. She was saving face, and she knew it. This is a girl who was hot enough to pick up any guy she wanted, and she just got rejected for the first time in a long time, if not the first time ever. I've got to admit, it was a bit of an ego trip for me. It really felt good, and I've done it several times since then, though not to that convoluted of an extent. Sure, it's a little cruel, but I think it's a relatively harmless and constructive exercise for a guy who might be plagued with some minor confidence or self esteem issues. Just goes to show that psychos come in many shapes and form. You need professional help as Jynxx said
Emilia Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Thank you, and in response to your other post in this thread, yes. You can do it. It's pretty easy, and it was a real eye-opener for me for sure. I've noticed that most of the angry responses here appear to be estrogen-fueled, and that doesn't surprise me. Let me repeat myself when I say that I never intend to hurt anyone's feelings when I do this. If being rejected by a man in a bar hurts a woman's feelings however, then so what. They arbitrarily do it to men left and right, so it's a little hypocritical to be scornful at a man who chooses to apply the same...ahem..."discretion" regarding who he chooses to interact with and who he doesn't. I would feel the same way if a woman did this. I think when you are trying to prove something at someone else's expense it is usually indicative of deep psychological issues. By the way, quite a few users that reacted negatively here are men.
musemaj11 Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Lol, this thread is hilarious. Thats quite a dick move man. You gave her a signal of interest and you humiliated her after she approached you. Thats messed up dude.
PlumPrincess Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Lol, this thread is hilarious. Thats quite a dick move man. You gave her a signal of interest and you humiliated her after she approached you. Thats messed up dude. If I was the OP, I'd really reconsider my position now. If that guy here, musemaj11, criticizes another guy's behavior towards a woman, then he must be a real loser.
Author hotloader Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 In a bar, eye contact and a smile is considered flirting. You know this, so stop pretending. You're splitting hairs. Remember, I simply returned a glance and a smile. Had I have been a homosexual, would it still be considered flirting? I find it almost magically revealing how words like "psycho" and "dick" are being flung at me for the simple fact that I didn't take this woman home and arbitrarily have sexual intercourse with her based on the sole fact that I found her physically attractive. And what's wrong with the fact that I enjoyed practicing self control and respect? Let me those of you with a low opinion of me another question. Does it make me a "dick" and a "psycho" that I had an open-ended (i.e. non-reversible) vasectomy, and that I regularly omit that fact from any woman whom I get involved with? Remember, omission isn't lying either. If asked, I'd happily admit to having the procedure done. To date, no woman has asked me though.
Author hotloader Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 If I was the OP, I'd really reconsider my position now. If anything, it's even more firmly entrenched.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 OP, we all know that you are very prideful and full of braggadocio for the smack down you had the "power" to administer to this girl who had the bad luck of looking your way in a bar. I guess we all need to have something to feel good about, and this is your thing. The girl was good looking and no doubt she had no lasting damage from her unfortunate encounter with you. Do you plan to spend the rest of your youth and whatever appeal you have playing your little game? Sounds bleak, small minded and pathetic to me … but at least you have something, and clearly it's very important and even self-defining for you. Meanwhile, probably all of your "targets" will move on to having wild and mutually fulfilling sex or even loving relationships within a short time of their mishap with you. So … play on.
fishtaco Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 (edited) Well, I think the game was well played until you outright rejected her. I'd think hooking up with her would be a better ego boost than outright rejecting her. But anyway, I don't see anything wrong with it. Women flirt with men they're not interested in for free drinks, entertainment, ego boost, whatever all the time. I understand the "decency crew" here on LS are screaming bloody murder, and I assume they themselves do not engage in these sort of activities, and I assume they will condemn their fellow ladies if they engage in these sort of activities, but there is very little decency out there in the real world. I think it's great when people take the high road, I have respect for them, but I cannot condemn anyone for being average. I reserve the right to act average myself when I choose to, so I cannot be a hypocrite and say others, including women, are not allowed to act "average". It's just how it is out there in the world of dating. All is fair in love and war. Edited March 12, 2012 by fishtaco suck at grammar 2
lino Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Ah well, I'd give a lot to go back to when I was in middle school. That was the high point of life for me. But any way she was doing the same thing to him but going over and acting all flirty or chatty whatever. She wanted him to validate her ego. When you horse around with the stove you often get burned. That's life, just don't blame the stove. There are many situations in life where if a man is taking part in said situation, he's considered a dead set c*nt. If a woman takes part in the exact same scenario she will be considered as independent, not settling and exercising her options. This is one of those many situations.
lino Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Well men should stop approaching women too. Because women do the same thing, often with great delight and happiness. It's like a sport. Sometimes what's good for the goose is good for the gander you know? Would be nice if the world really did work like that wouldn't it?
mysteriousbox Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Well, I think the game was well played until you outright rejected her. I'd think hooking up with her would be a better ego boost than outright rejecting her. But anyway, I don't see anything wrong with it. Women flirt with men they're not interested in for free drinks, entertainment, ego boost, whatever all the time. I understand the "decency crew" here on LS are screaming bloody murder, and I assume they themselves do not engage in these sort of activities, and I assume they will condemn their fellow ladies if they engage in these sort of activities, but there is very little decency out there in the real world. I think it's great when people take the high road, I have respect for them, but I cannot condemn anyone for being average. I reserve the right to act average myself when I choose to, so I cannot be a hypocrite and say others, including women, are not allowed to act "average". It's just how it is out there in the world of dating. All is fair in love and war. I'd say the OP did nothing overly wrong, all's fair in love and war I guess /shrug.
Author hotloader Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 (edited) Do you plan to spend the rest of your youth and whatever appeal you have playing your little game? I'm 34 years old. Am I still in my "youth"? I personally can't say. I'd like to think that I am. I look a hell of a lot better than I did a decade ago. I certainly don't feel very young though. To answer your question, yes this is something that I practice on occasion, and will continue to do so. I've been through the meat grinder that is marriage and divorce, and I don't intend on ever putting myself in that position again. I began my journey into adulthood as a hopeless romantic, and I married relatively young at the age of 22. Since then I've endured a miserable marriage with a wife who was habitually unfaithful, a divorce that absolutely ravaged me financially (so that I could pay for her new life with a new guy), and several miserable attempts at finding some degree of tangible substance in various women I've dated....to no avail. At some point something just "clicked", and I stopped taking women seriously, and life has become much less complicated as a result. Sounds bleak, small minded and pathetic to me … but at least you have something, and clearly it's very important and even self-defining for you. Many things are "self-defining" for me, however none of those things have to do with women. Meanwhile, probably all of your "targets" will move on to having wild and mutually fulfilling sex or even loving relationships within a short time of their mishap with you. You called them "targets", not me. I deduce you're one step away from calling them "victims". Anyway, yes I'm sure they will....as will I. I don't do this to every woman I meet, just as I don't screw anything that looks my way either. I would think that as a feminist, you would be commending me for not being a man-whore. I'm confused, and apparently so are you. Edited March 13, 2012 by hotloader
Author hotloader Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 Well, I think the game was well played until you outright rejected her. I'd think hooking up with her would be a better ego boost than outright rejecting her. You know, it's funny...I thought the same thing. What I discovered was, for me at least, the ego boost was pretty much the same. The only thing that made it better was the fact that I didn't indulge. The girl in question was incredibly attractive. It's rare to see a girl like that out in public, much less have the opportunity to be the only guy she's interested in talking to. During one of her final unwanted visits to me that evening, she actually asked me if I was gay. I laughed and said "no, why?" She said something to the effect of "you'd have to be gay to not be into me". I found that to be rather presumptuous on her part, and at that point any empathy I felt toward her over the situation abruptly vanished. Of course it would have been awesome to have sex with her, but at that moment rejecting her felt too damn good. Who knows? Perhaps I spared myself an STD.
Recommended Posts