hotloader Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 (edited) I was skimming through a thread here about the low self-esteem of men, and it prompted me to share a little secret with some of these fellas who may be suffering from it. Back in the day, I had self-esteem issues myself. That was a long time ago though. I'm a lot more confident now. That gets better with age. I'm in my mid 30's now. I was married for six years, and after that I dated plenty of women, so I don't have any problems. Maybe it's just because I don't care anymore...Who knows. But I digress. My divorce was horrible (ex-wife was a cheater), and I found myself back in the retarded bar scene for a while (about a year) immediately afterward. The self-esteem issues started creeping back in, and understandably so. So....I did some thinking one day before I went out, and applied the logic to the evening. It worked like a freakin' charm, and I've practiced it often since. It really helped me erase that little bit of self-doubt that I had. Maybe I can help someone out by sharing, so here goes... I picked a bar that's notorious for hot women, and I went by myself. A ballgame was on TV, so I spent about an hour watching. Some other dude was there doing the same thing, and he and I started talking baseball. This lasted for another hour or so, and during this time the bar started getting full. The mass-delusion dancing to crappy music had begun, and jiggly boobs and the odor of a thousand perfumes mixed together started filling the place. This guy and I just stood there enjoying our beers, and watching the game. I started glancing around a little, and noticed maybe three or four chicks looking at me. I picked the hottest one, and I looked back for a few seconds, gave a very subtle (almost sarcastic) smile and nod, and that was all it took. Over she came, and so it began...."what's your name"?...blah, blah, blah. Now, normally this was all par for the course up to this point. Sometimes I'd be a little more ambitious, but usually the "eyes" thing had always worked for me. I like it when girls come up to me, and not the other way around. It's simpler that way I guess. But anyway...back to the story. So this girl is hot. Curly red hair, well-built, nice voice, pretty face, etc. In my mind, however....I convinced myself that she was the ugliest woman I'd ever seen. I found this approach to be much easier, as I'd blow off a chick I wasn't attracted to politely, and without any effort. My intent wasn't to hurt anyone's feelings either....it was just an exercise. So, that's exactly what I did. I showed very little interest in her. She asked me if I wanted to come sit with her, and I told her I was really into the game, but maybe later. As the night grew on, she started growing frustrated with me and actually kinda bothered me. Eventually, on the fifth or sixth visit to my end of the bar, she became rather belligerent, and told me that she shouldn't be talking to me anyway because she's got a "boyfriend at home who she loves". I looked her dead in the eye (the first time I'd done so since the initial eye-contact), and said "wow, I'm glad I'm not him". I know she didn't have a boyfriend. She was saving face, and she knew it. This is a girl who was hot enough to pick up any guy she wanted, and she just got rejected for the first time in a long time, if not the first time ever. I've got to admit, it was a bit of an ego trip for me. It really felt good, and I've done it several times since then, though not to that convoluted of an extent. Sure, it's a little cruel, but I think it's a relatively harmless and constructive exercise for a guy who might be plagued with some minor confidence or self esteem issues. Edited March 11, 2012 by hotloader
UBFeelinMe Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I dunno man I think that banging that hot girl would have been better.
El Brujo Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I hear ya, hotloader. I currently have no gf... but since I've started doing the things in my life that I really enjoy, why would I want to punch a meal ticket full of holes?
somedude81 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 So you were just playing with her. I guess it was to give you an ego boost to know you can make somebody feel bad?
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Actually this sounds like a great idea. I should try this next weekend. Go to the bar and watch some of the tournament and act this way to a really hot woman. I wonder if I could go through with it though...
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 You're probably trolling, because nobody with even a tiny speck of integrity and self esteem would present this a "good" idea - even if they did it.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 You're probably trolling, because nobody with even a tiny speck of integrity and self esteem would present this a "good" idea - even if they did it. What? What did he do that was bad? A hot girl came up to him he ignored her, she wanted him more and he still ignored her. She's not entitled to his attention.
joystickd Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 You're probably trolling, because nobody with even a tiny speck of integrity and self esteem would present this a "good" idea - even if they did it. Pick up artists would, but wait they don't even have a tiny speck.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 What? What did he do that was bad? A hot girl came up to him he ignored her, she wanted him more and he still ignored her. She's not entitled to his attention. If he wasn't interested in her, that's one thing. But to go out with the intent to reject people as an exercise to make oneself feel better? Loser. 5
mesmerized Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I dunno man I think that banging that hot girl would have been better. hahahaha, exactly what I was thinking.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 If he wasn't interested in her, that's one thing. But to go out with the intent to reject people as an exercise to make oneself feel better? Loser. Well he should have used the tactic to get her to go on a date with him if he was really wise I'll give you that. He just wasted a perfectly good setup. But really I don't see him as a loser at all. I wish I had half the guts he does.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 But really I don't see him as a loser at all. I wish I had half the guts he does. A person with "guts" could use them towards a much more useful and positive end. This sounds like plain old weak and cowardly behavior to me. There are lots of social situations in life where weak people try to make other people feel like crap in order to make themselves feel good. Many of them take place amongst groups of middle school girls.
Jynxx Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Pick up artists would, but wait they don't even have a tiny speck. No. A pick up artist would have wanted to pick her up, not feed his ego at her expense. Do you see why?
joystickd Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 No. A pick up artist would have wanted to pick her up, not feed his ego at her expense. Do you see why? maybe but weird as most of the PUAs are they would do it as an instructional tool to prove a point
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 A person with "guts" could use them towards a much more useful and positive end. This sounds like plain old weak and cowardly behavior to me. There are lots of social situations in life where weak people try to make other people feel like crap in order to make themselves feel good. Many of them take place amongst groups of middle school girls. Ah well, I'd give a lot to go back to when I was in middle school. That was the high point of life for me. But any way she was doing the same thing to him but going over and acting all flirty or chatty whatever. She wanted him to validate her ego. When you horse around with the stove you often get burned. That's life, just don't blame the stove.
Jynxx Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 maybe but weird as most of the PUAs are they would do it as an instructional tool to prove a point Is this a thinly veiled brag about knowing most of the many millions of PUAs in the world or a really silly made up statistic to try to defend your point?
PlumPrincess Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 That's like cutting your nose to spite your face, right? Other guys would have seen it as more helpful to their self-confidence if they had managed to get a date with the girl or take her home. Turning someone down as a pre-emptive strike because you believe they will turn you down sooner or later doesn't look very self-confident to me. 6
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 That's like cutting your nose to spite your face, right? Other guys would have seen it as more helpful to their self-confidence if they had managed to get a date with the girl or take her home. Turning someone down as a pre-emptive strike because you believe they will turn you down sooner or later doesn't look very self-confident to me. Yeah that's my only beef with this guy's approach. He should played the game early on like he did but then turned around and asked her on a date. He ended wasting a perfectly good opportunity.
TheSingleGuy Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Perhaps this is how the male mind works, because, I have to admit, I've done this myself as well, thinking it would somehow boost my confidence. The problem is, and the OP hasn't recognized it yet, in no way did he come close to being successful. There's so much more to seducing a woman and making her your girlfriend than getting to the first of ten steps. Getting her attracted is only 1 step of many. I can't tell you how many women I've blown it with who were attracted to me when we initially interacted.
joystickd Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Is this a thinly veiled brag about knowing most of the many millions of PUAs in the world or a really silly made up statistic to try to defend your point? I was just saying. Its not that serious relax man.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 But any way she was doing the same thing to him but going over and acting all flirty or chatty whatever. She wanted him to validate her ego. When you horse around with the stove you often get burned. That's life, just don't blame the stove. How do you know? She did, after all, ask him to go home with her. Even if she wanted him to validate her ego, she was offering to share something, like sex.
Author hotloader Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 and this is why i am losing faith in men Don't worry. Guys like me are in the minority, but make haste. Our numbers are growing.
Jynxx Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Don't worry. Guys like me are in the minority, but make haste. Our numbers are growing. "We are legion"
Recommended Posts