ShaneSchommer Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 So its been about 2 and a half months since break up. At first i was devistated. i still am but have been feeling mucch better recently. I just got a new haircut, splurged on some new clothes, and been going to the gym. The gym has been great a real spirit lifter. Im thankful i have good genetics because its very easy for me to see results and it feels good. Even though i think about her a lot im in a lot better place than i was. the past couple days we broke no contact and decided to try and be friends. I mean ive been best friends with my ex for nearly 3 years. we shared a lot together and how could i just leet that go? we texted a few times over the couple days and i didnt feel hurt at all just like i was before (getting better). we decided to hang out and went out for coffee. it was going well at first it was good to see her but then in a matter of seconds it was like a punch in the face. i wanted her so bad and miss her like crazy! it put me down a couple of levels. i just wanted to keep hanging out with her, i wanted to cuddle, i wanted to kis her. i feel aweful at the moment. Its that feeling deep inside that you know she is the one. urrggg this sucks.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Ya, the "just be friends" thing is really hard, if not impossible if you still feel too much for them. I personally would not dare be in the friend zone with my ex... we were friends at first, took it slow, became lovers... and now strangers. It would break my heart into pieces (funny it's still shattered, but could likely get worse with contact) to hang out and talk, yet not be able to be intimate with him (I dont mean sex, I mean vulnerable). I feel for you.. would hate to have to experience the "just friends" moment while still in love with them. All the best to you.
HighFlight12 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I personally think that you need to continue to give this women her space, let her realize that you aren't in the picture, make her feel that something is missing. I am in a situation pretty much the same. It's been almost 2 months since ex and I parted, and obviously it hasn't been enough time. When you talk to her, keep it brief, don't go into detail about your daily activities, make her wonder. It's sad because its pretty much a board game your trying to win. Pretend that you are kinda busy when she calls, and just say can i hit you back another time, or even play the same game that she runs on you. She won't realize what she is doing to you, and if she does, 9 times out of 10 she will enjoy it. Don't be used as a doormat, nor a stepping stone. Venture out and meet people, shoot i know my ex has, and so have I. If its meant to be then she will find her way back, and it's on you to accept her or not. Don't beg or plea the case with her, when you feel tempted to call or text her, call someone else, make plans to go do something, that way you can keep your mind free of her. Women can be very manipulative and the best at game playing, so if she wants to play the game, play it much better than her!
budley12 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 i feel you man. ex broke it off 4 months ago and im still thinking about it constantly -hence me being on here at 1:30 in the morning. still having insomnia and i need sleeping pills to sleep. we were each others first loves... together for 3 years and lived together since freshman year in college. we tried the whole "friends" thing after but it was only getting worse so 3 weeks ago I completely stopped all contact. Not sure if it was a good or bad thing, but im hoping that it will allow me to heal up and maybe my ex will start to miss me??? who knows...
HighFlight12 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Oh and most importantly, it's important that you learn to control your emotions. Something I am working on now.
Author ShaneSchommer Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 I personally think that you need to continue to give this women her space, let her realize that you aren't in the picture, make her feel that something is missing. I am in a situation pretty much the same. It's been almost 2 months since ex and I parted, and obviously it hasn't been enough time. When you talk to her, keep it brief, don't go into detail about your daily activities, make her wonder. It's sad because its pretty much a board game your trying to win. Pretend that you are kinda busy when she calls, and just say can i hit you back another time, or even play the same game that she runs on you. She won't realize what she is doing to you, and if she does, 9 times out of 10 she will enjoy it. Don't be used as a doormat, nor a stepping stone. Venture out and meet people, shoot i know my ex has, and so have I. If its meant to be then she will find her way back, and it's on you to accept her or not. Don't beg or plea the case with her, when you feel tempted to call or text her, call someone else, make plans to go do something, that way you can keep your mind free of her. Women can be very manipulative and the best at game playing, so if she wants to play the game, play it much better than her! Yeah this is exactly what i thought about doing. keep some conctact but keep it short and brief and sometimes tell her ill talk later. I havnt begged her to get back together. im trying not to be that way haha. Its tough when you both know you have that amazing connection but it just isnt working with long distance. ill keep going to the gym and meeting new people. thanks for the advice!
Mack05 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I know how u feel mate. I'm struggling too and while I feel so much better in myself its hard knowing I will never see or hear from a great friend again and knowing that there won't be anyone on the other side of my bed for god knows how long. I have gained acceptance that we are not right for each other, that we hurt each other and that other people would probably make us happier, still doesn't mean I'm not hurting or still from time to time think "what if"...My feelings for her were genuine and even after so much time apart, I can't seem to switch them off..I've only ever loved two woman so its hard just to move on..Sometimes I wish feelings were like a light switch and u could just switch them on and off when u want. I always seem to be the one hurting when an ex has moved on.. I just have to keep training hard and keeping busy.Today I didn't want to but still swam in a freezing cold ocean. You have to do the same. Just a little progress day by day until one day you are ready to love again. I turned down a date recently. I have learnt harsh lessons about filling gaps in the right way. U need to fill gaps in the right way too buddy. U are doing well. As the old saying goes u climb out of hell inch by inch. In the meantime give her space and literally disappear..
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