MauriceT Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I'm different from some of my buddies. I don't know why I'm still not interested in getting drunk every weekend, going clubbing nor trying new women. So my far this is a quick cliff about my life: 1) Currently age 28 2) Lost my virginity to a gf at age 19 (we were dating for 3 yrs, until she broke if off) 3) My number is only at 4 and all of them were long-term relationship (never had ONS nor random hook-ups, I don't see any point to it) 4) Lastly, I will not sleep with a woman if we're not exclusive Sometimes my buddies told me I could try to get loose at least once. I could but I really don't see any point. I'm just into relationship and later on settling down with a woman similar to me (one that doesn't sleeps around either). Or do you think I should try that once even if I don't like it?
Author MauriceT Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 I was called a prude twice by a friend. He kept telling me ''Bro don't be such a prude, get on with it, hit it and then dump nothing bad about it''. I'm trying to figure out what's the point (other than minutes of pleasure).
Taramere Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 There's this popular stereotype of men constantly conforming to basic biology, but I think realistically most intelligent, emotionally functioning human beings who live in sophisticated societies are too complex to ever really revert to purely animalistic behaviour without feeling some dilemma about it. It's the price we pay for being very highly evolved animals. Whereas an animal just searches for the basics, when it comes to mating, people look to connect sexually, emotionally, intellectually, philosophically, to be aesthetically pleased and to have the reassurance that they too are seen by the other as aesthetically pleasing. Little wonder it ends in hours of angsting by people on here and on other websites. Much as people who look for all of these things, and won't settle for anything less, can be annoying...those who have very low standards in all those departments are difficult to respect. Your friends might like to make a show of life being very simple, by telling you that you just need to be "less of a prude" (aka more promiscuous). That's just noise. What kind of person would transform their entire personality and philosophy just to reach some worthless consensus with other people who hurl out mindless advice like "don't be a prude...hit it and then dump"? What's wrong with wanting to be better than that? I don't think you should sell out who you are. Your sexual experience sounds pretty normal and healthy for a guy your age...and if you prefer to have sex in the context of a meaningful relationship that probably bodes far better for making any relationship you have work out in the long term. 4
HHC Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 You sound similar to my husband and I have so much respect for him and his views on sex and women. There is nothing wrong with you and what you do. If you're not interested in changing, then please don't force yourself. You will only feel sleezy and disappointed in yourself. There is a woman out there for you 1
denise_xo Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I think you should just be yourself that's the best way of finding a compatible life partner. 2
Ross MwcFan Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Be yourself. Live your life for you, as long as it doesn't cause harm to anyone else. 1
Lauriebell82 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 You sound great to me, similar to my husband. Women in general find men who are not players much more appealing and marriage/LTR material. Dont let your idiot friends pressure you into being something you are not. Most likely they would rather be like you then like themselves and that's why they give you a hard time.
HeavenOrHell Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Never do anything you don't want to do just cos your mates are cajoling you into it, or telling you could or should try this or that. If you don't want to do it, then don't I think only unassertive people who care too much about what others think of them follow the crowd rather than doing their own thing. I wish there were more people like you. I'm different from some of my buddies. I don't know why I'm still not interested in getting drunk every weekend, going clubbing nor trying new women. So my far this is a quick cliff about my life: 1) Currently age 28 2) Lost my virginity to a gf at age 19 (we were dating for 3 yrs, until she broke if off) 3) My number is only at 4 and all of them were long-term relationship (never had ONS nor random hook-ups, I don't see any point to it) 4) Lastly, I will not sleep with a woman if we're not exclusive Sometimes my buddies told me I could try to get loose at least once. I could but I really don't see any point. I'm just into relationship and later on settling down with a woman similar to me (one that doesn't sleeps around either). Or do you think I should try that once even if I don't like it?
KathyM Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I'd say you were a genuine person with values who wants more to life than just looking for the next warm place to put it. Don't let other people to drag you down to their low standards of behavior. You sound like a quality man who would be appreciated by women who want someone of substance, who is guided by his brain and not his penis.
stronger_than_this Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I'm a female college student and I don't sleep around. I'm far from prude, but my girlfriends make fun of how "my heart lives in my vagina" because I lost my virginity young to someone I was in a long term relationship with, and now that its over I cant have sex with anyone who I don't have really strong feelings for. Well I gave in to peer pressure and got really drunk one night to make it a little easier to have a ONS with one of my cute guy-friends. I gave in and it was awful when it happened, it was awful the next morning and it may not have ruined it but it forever altered my friendship with this guy. Moral: If you're not comfortable with something, don't do it because you wont enjoy it anyway, why compromise your values?
fencesitter Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Other men may call you a prude or whatever, because they feel guilty about their own behavior. If you were doing what they were doing, there would not be this contrast in their minds. I think you are awesome and I would say most women would probably be really hot for a guy who stands firm in his own values, knows what he wants, doesn't use women for sex, etc. The drunk guys grinding on a stranger in a club who have screwed 60+ women they can't even remember...no woman in her right mind would want to get with that. Your standards, I hope, ensure you have wonderful sex and meaningful relationships. Give your buds about 10 years and they will be begging for your secrets. Do your thang, and tell your buddies to enjoy their STD's and hangovers. Ick. Gross.
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