djmm Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Met a girl 6 months ago, first two months were fun, we only hung out two times but a lot of emails, texts, a few phone calls. Basically, we got to know each other a bit. She gave me signs which i took as she was interested. she asked me to make her dinner, go out for drinks, but i declined. Then i started initiating efforts to get together and she would not respond to them. We stopped talking on a personal level, well, it diminished greatly to how it used to be. I did express feelings about wanting to get to know her better but she would say "i dont know why you want me so bad, im not worth it." Yet she never closed the door, she didnt say go away or stop talking to me, she just let it fade away. and i slowed down my persistence. I never got a solid answer from her. She admitted to being a runner, running from issues, not dealing with them, admitted to not having friends or talking to anyone but i dont believe her. From an outsider's point of view, i understand it is easy to say move on, she isnt interested, and that is clear to me. But i can't get by why i wasnt provided with a reason or concrete answer. I understand some people dont act this way, she doesnt seem like the person who is open and honest about things. I am moving on but I still feel played or taken for a ride by her. i didnt really do anything wrong to her or piss her off, i think it is more about her personal issues than how i acted toward her. any thoughts? thank you.
SpiralOut Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I think you nailed it on the head. This is about her and her personal issues. This is how she deals with people; by running away.
2sunny Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Played or taken for a ride how? You were setting a solid, healthy boundary - when she said"make me dinner" you said no! She was testing you - to see if you were willing to be her doormat. Good for you! She's a douche... Why would you waste your time anyway who states they have such emotionally unbalanced issues?
cerridwen Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Yet she never closed the door, she didnt say go away or stop talking to me, she just let it fade away. and i slowed down my persistence. I never got a solid answer from her. She admitted to being a runner, running from issues, not dealing with them, admitted to not having friends or talking to anyone but i dont believe her. From an outsider's point of view, i understand it is easy to say move on, she isnt interested, and that is clear to me. But i can't get by why i wasnt provided with a reason or concrete answer. I understand some people dont act this way, she doesnt seem like the person who is open and honest about things. I am moving on but I still feel played or taken for a ride by her. i didnt really do anything wrong to her or piss her off, i think it is more about her personal issues than how i acted toward her. any thoughts? thank you. Some times people don't give us answers because they don't have any themselves. This girl sounds a bit lost, like she's still finding herself and her way in the world. I'd advise working toward feeling indifferent about it all, rather than holding on to any feelings of being played. We're flawed in our own ways.
Author djmm Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 Thank you for the responses, you are all correct. This girl doesnt have the answers. she said so herself. But she knows she is frustrating yet doesnt know what to do about it. She is young, 25. and yes it is about her issues. but i cant seem to get over the no feedback. i will soon but it is just a stick in my side. I am very open and honest and she isnt that way so that is why it has been frustrating to communicate with her. I am not getting any real responses back. why do i feel played or taken for a ride? I think she is a tease, likes attention, she gave it to me yet when i gave it to her, she doesnt respond. Maybe too immature to deal with some who isnt superficial, too insecure to deal with someone who is open and honest. I really dont know though because i receive no feedback and i dont like to speculate and analyze a ton because i really dont know what is going on in her head. The best thing to do is move on and be indifferent to it. Thanks
PinayFBP Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 If she didnt contact you for a while...Just wait a little longer.
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