Girl who I haven't talked to all week thought she could call tonight and ask to meet?

[PlumPrincess]

I would never go out with someone because they are BORED. And that's exactly why she called me on such short notice. Again, if she was willing to have a INDOOR DATE then I would have been all for that.

It's a first date. And unless you're great with reading between the lines and have a good instinct (none of these things apply to you, in case you didn't know that about yourself ), you're going to run a high risk that you will realize upon meeting that you and your date are not that compatible. If a date doesn't turn out that great and if I had cancelled other plans with friends in order to stick to my date, that would suck. If I have nothing to do and wanted to go out anyway and the date wasn't that great, I didn't lose that much.

[PhillyDude]

It's a first date. And unless you're great with reading between the lines and have a good instinct (none of these things apply to you, in case you didn't know that about yourself ), you're going to run a high risk that you will realize upon meeting that you and your date are not that compatible. If a date doesn't turn out that great and if I had cancelled other plans with friends in order to stick to my date, that would suck. If I have nothing to do and wanted to go out anyway and the date wasn't that great, I didn't lose that much.

 

 

But you can't not show interest and initiate no contact for 5 days and expect s

someone to go out with you just like that. After 5 days of no communication and no response back to text or calls I delete and move on

[Lolita_Sky]

I never go out on dates on short notice. If they ask you once and do it they will assume you are available all of the time. If you value my time you will ask me out on a date at the least two days in advance. I have plans and a life as well.

 

A guy that I USE to have a major crush on just randomly text me asking me out last Friday after not hearing from him for over a month.

 

Do you know what I told him?

 

"Delete my number I'd have thought by now you'd have figured out that I no longer have an interest in you. But I guess not"

 

I never date people like that because they aren't really interested in you as a potential boyfriend/girlfriend nor as a friend. So no point in spending your time with those type of people.

[PlumPrincess]

But you can't not show interest and initiate no contact for 5 days and expect s

someone to go out with you just like that. After 5 days of no communication and no response back to text or calls I delete and move on

Ok, you didn't say that she hadn't replied to your messages and didn't return your calls. I guess, that would have also lowered my willingness for a spontaneous meeting.

[PhillyDude]

Ok, you didn't say that she hadn't replied to your messages and didn't return your calls. I guess, that would have also lowered my willingness for a spontaneous meeting.

 

No we had not talked to each other since tuesday. I didn't call or text her and she didn't call or text me. That's why i thought it was odd that she all of a sudden out of nowhere called on a saturday and wanted to meet up like he had just talked on friday.

[PlumPrincess]

No we had not talked to each other since tuesday. I didn't call or text her and she didn't call or text me. That's why i thought it was odd that she all of a sudden out of nowhere called on a saturday and wanted to meet up like he had just talked on friday.

Then you should have just gone out and see what she's up to. Consider it practice. And if you felt you were just second best, don't pay for the date and move on.

 

I used to get a lot upset about stuff like that, just like you. Nowadays, I try to increase the number of good experiences in my life and reduce the bad ones. If you think she didn't treat you with respect, ignore her, her behavior is her problem, not yours. If you get upset about her, you spend a lot of time on a negative experience instead of focusing on having good ones. And what's more important to you? Being upset about someone whom you barely know or being happy?

[PhillyDude]

Then you should have just gone out and see what she's up to. Consider it practice. And if you felt you were just second best, don't pay for the date and move on.

 

I used to get a lot upset about stuff like that, just like you. Nowadays, I try to increase the number of good experiences in my life and reduce the bad ones. If you think she didn't treat you with respect, ignore her, her behavior is her problem, not yours. If you get upset about her, you spend a lot of time on a negative experience instead of focusing on having good ones. And what's more important to you? Being upset about someone whom you barely know or being happy?

 

No I wasn't upset I was just pointing out the nerve of some females who think they can just call me up for a same day date.

[SmileFace]

Are you being serious? You didn't contact her at all since Tuesday and you are mad that she actually took intiative to write you and invite you out, sobeit last minute? For all you know she was probably under the impression that you would have contacted her prior and made plans for Friday but since you didn't she decided tO try and you shut her down. Really, you weren't doing anything else? You seriously turned down a date since you have a notion that she is just using you because she is bored?

[RedRobin]

What company is going to ask to interview the same day? And if they did it would show no consideration on their part and would give off a unprofessional vibe.

 

You might be surprised. I've had it happen many times. People get a hole in their schedule. They have a pile of resumes/emails to go through. Yours is on top.

 

That's how it works.

 

Opportunities man... you gotta jump on them when they come along.

 

You had an opportunity, and your negativity and jumping to conclusions threw a big wet dishrag on it. :( Change that, buddy. Not every woman is out to play games or prove a point.

[PhillyDude]

Are you being serious? You didn't contact her at all since Tuesday and you are mad that she actually took intiative to write you and invite you out, sobeit last minute? For all you know she was probably under the impression that you would have contacted her prior and made plans for Friday but since you didn't she decided tO try and you shut her down. Really, you weren't doing anything else? You seriously turned down a date since you have a notion that she is just using you because she is bored?

 

I turned down a date because nothing was planned. We never even talked about where we would go and I damm sure was not going to a restauraunt and paying for dinner. She may have been looking for a free meal since she called me at dinner time. Not like she called me at 11am on a saturday morning to discuss meeting up. Me thinks she may have been a little hungry

[RedRobin]

No I wasn't upset I was just pointing out the nerve of some females who think they can just call me up for a same day date.

 

Quit being oversensitive about being single.

 

You are. A good woman is going to be HAPPY you are single. Sheesh.

 

I realize that alot of people tell others to look all busy and unavailable in order to appear attractive... but I'm not really sure how faking that by turning down opportunities helps you.

 

Really, this is kind of silly.

 

Maybe you are one of those... "I don't want to be a member of any club who would have me?" Why are you automatically assuming the worst?

[johan]

Not every woman is out to play games or prove a point.

 

But maybe PhiilyDude is. Most likely. He isn't here for advice after all. He just wanted us all to know how handled the insolent woman.

 

The bottom line is that he made a power play that he's proud of. Good for him.

[SmileFace]

I turned down a date because nothing was planned. We never even talked about where we would go and I damm sure was not going to a restauraunt and paying for dinner. She may have been looking for a free meal since she called me at dinner time. Not like she called me at 11am on a saturday morning to discuss meeting up. Me thinks she may have been a little hungry

 

What, do chicks really go out with the intention of a free meal? The time effort and energy I take to get ready for a date, I could buy myself 4 meals. Wait, aren't you unemployed, and does she know this? Why would she want you to buy her a meal? I mean I go with a meal friend of mine regularly and know I make more than him, I have always paid my way. Anywho girls don't invite "back burner" guys on a weekend.

[RedRobin]

But maybe PhiilyDude is. Most likely. He isn't here for advice after all. He just wanted us all to know how handled the insolent woman.

 

The bottom line is that he made a power play that he's proud of. Good for him.

 

Power play. Yes. That's what an intimate, loving relationship is supposed to be all about.

 

Sigh...

[PhillyDude]

What, do chicks really go out with the intention of a free meal? The time effort and energy I take to get ready for a date, I could buy myself 4 meals. Wait, aren't you unemployed, and does she know this? Why would she want you to buy her a meal? I mean I go with a meal friend of mine regularly and know I make more than him, I have always paid my way. Anywho girls don't invite "back burner" guys on a weekend.

 

So back burner guys are on a wednesday? lol

[oaks]

Well I;m not a spontaneous person and like to plan a little.

 

Great. So I'm sure you said something like "Sorry, no, I can't come out tonight because I'm already settled in for the evening but let's make a plan for another night. How about Tuesday?"

 

How did she respond to that?

[johan]

Power play. Yes. That's what an intimate, loving relationship is supposed to be all about.

 

Sigh...

 

People shouldn't assume he's interested in an intimate or loving relationship. There is no,"how can I make this work?" in his posts.

[RedRobin]

Great. So I'm sure you said something like "Sorry, no, I can't come out tonight because I'm already settled in for the evening but let's make a plan for another night. How about Tuesday?"

 

How did she respond to that?

 

That's some good coaching, Oaks. Yes, that would have been completely on target if he didn't feel like going out for any reason.

[SmileFace]

So back burner guys are on a wednesday? lol

 

Lol no but more likely a weekday. I am not sure If I am reading your message correctly but she did contact you again on a Saturday right? Anyway don't be so quick to shoot down a date, what do you have to lose. You guys could have went to a free event for all you know. I think the only reason you are making such a big deal about an impromptu date is because your money situation only allows you to go out if an event is pre planned . Hopefully I am not mixing you up with A next poster.

[PhillyDude]

Great. So I'm sure you said something like "Sorry, no, I can't come out tonight because I'm already settled in for the evening but let's make a plan for another night. How about Tuesday?"

 

How did she respond to that?

 

 

No i made something up that I was cleaning and completing some video projects so I can get rid of my VHS tapes. I never made a suggestion for another day because if I go out it would be on the weekend. So maybe if we talk again this week on a tuesday i will be open to setting something up for friday or aturday

[PhillyDude]

Lol no but more likely a weekday. I am not sure If I am reading your message correctly but she did contact you again on a Saturday right? Anyway don't be so quick to shoot down a date, what do you have to lose. You guys could have went to a free event for all you know. I think the only reason you are making such a big deal about an impromptu date is because your money situation only allows you to go out if an event is pre planned . Hopefully I am not mixing you up with A next poster.

 

I explained that as long as I receive a call early in the day like 11am or 12pm I won't have a problem going out. The only kind of date I;m open to if a girl calls me at 6pm is a INDOOR DATE at my place or her place.

[jobaba]

No i made something up that I was cleaning and completing some video projects so I can get rid of my VHS tapes. I never made a suggestion for another day because if I go out it would be on the weekend. So maybe if we talk again this week on a tuesday i will be open to setting something up for friday or aturday

 

I have lots of good date ideas for Philadelphia. I basically won over my current taking her around the City of Brotherly Love. PM me or start a thread if you want ideas.

[PhillyDude]

I have lots of good date ideas for Philadelphia. I basically won over my current taking her around the City of Brotherly Love. PM me or start a thread if you want ideas.

 

Just give me a list of where I can go where I won't be around teenagers

[jobaba]

Just give me a list of where I can go where I won't be around teenagers

 

Mix of districts and places:

 

University City

Old City by Penns Landing

Northern Liberties

Museum District

World Cafe

Museum of Art

Reading Terminal Market

Yakitori Boy

[johan]

Manayunk...