Disenchantedly Yours Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I don't get hit on very much. Although I certainly have been hit on. I am not super hot but I get called cute. This thread makes me feel like crap though because apparently this not a problem for other women like it is for me.
mesmerized Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 (edited) I rarely get hit on. Same is true for most of my friends. But after reading this thread, I'm thinking maybe I'm just too unattractive! I got hit on more when I was in some other countries though so I just used to think it's a north american thing. Maybe I'm just considered unattractive to north Americans but I do get looks so I don't know. Oh and when I do get hit on, it's almost always by unattractive guys. I tend to not count those in my "have hit on me" list lol Edited March 11, 2012 by mesmerized
TheSingleGuy Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 All the women are saying it's always an unattractive guy who is hitting on you. Sure makes me want to go approach women! Perhaps there is something inherently unattractive about men who show interest?
eleanorhurting Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 All the women are saying it's always an unattractive guy who is hitting on you. Sure makes me want to go approach women! Perhaps there is something inherently unattractive about men who show interest? No. Sometimes I end up going out with them but then they lose interest.
verhrzn Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I never get hit on, but to hear my female friends talk, it happens to them all the time. So I guess the rule of thumb is: if a girl is average or above (probably a 7 or so), she gets hit on/approached in a friendly way frequently. If she is below average or ugly, guys probably ignore her.
mesmerized Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 All the women are saying it's always an unattractive guy who is hitting on you. Sure makes me want to go approach women! Perhaps there is something inherently unattractive about men who show interest? No, it's just that attractive men often don't really have to approach. Women are all over them already.
joystickd Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I never get hit on, but to hear my female friends talk, it happens to them all the time. So I guess the rule of thumb is: if a girl is average or above (probably a 7 or so), she gets hit on/approached in a friendly way frequently. If she is below average or ugly, guys probably ignore her. Not necessarily true. A woman being average or above average is a very subjective thing one person's 7 maybe a 5 to another or a 10 to another. So guys really don't have a universal rating system for women. Just like women don't have a universal rating system for men. Like my pic yes that is me. One woman could say I'm sexy and another can say I'm ugly.
verhrzn Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Not necessarily true. A woman being average or above average is a very subjective thing one person's 7 maybe a 5 to another or a 10 to another. So guys really don't have a universal rating system for women. Just like women don't have a universal rating system for men. Like my pic yes that is me. One woman could say I'm sexy and another can say I'm ugly. I highly contest the idea that men's opinion of women is so highly subjective. While I think guys DO have preferences (some like blondes, some like redheads and so forth), an attractive woman is an attractive woman, period. I see the same types of women getting hit on over and over, and the same types of women being ignored. (In real life and online dating.) The statistics just don't support that the majority of men have a very wide range of attraction.
joystickd Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I highly contest the idea that men's opinion of women is so highly subjective. While I think guys DO have preferences (some like blondes, some like redheads and so forth), an attractive woman is an attractive woman, period. I see the same types of women getting hit on over and over, and the same types of women being ignored. (In real life and online dating.) The statistics just don't support that the majority of men have a very wide range of attraction. An attractive woman is an attractive woman but it may not be the same level of attractiveness to all men. Men are different and have different views on whats attractive.
verhrzn Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 An attractive woman is an attractive woman but it may not be the same level of attractiveness to all men. Men are different and have different views on whats attractive. Sorry, still not convinced. Let's run down a list of traits and guess which ones guys find more attractive. Perky boobs: saggy boobs Round butt: flat butt Athletic: fat Pouty lips: thin lips Defined jawline: double chin Hairless: hairy I'll grant you that details like hair color, hair length, eye color, skin color, etc. might differ. But I have yet to hear any guy say that a fat girl with saggy boobs, a flat butt, and a double chin is hot. To quote Tina Fey, these days every woman is expected to have: "Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes." Looking at Ms. Fey's qualities of a perfect woman, wouldn't you say that most men that would find that attractive?
joystickd Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Sorry, still not convinced. Let's run down a list of traits and guess which ones guys find more attractive. Perky boobs: saggy boobs Round butt: flat butt Athletic: fat Pouty lips: thin lips Defined jawline: double chin Hairless: hairy I'll grant you that details like hair color, hair length, eye color, skin color, etc. might differ. But I have yet to hear any guy say that a fat girl with saggy boobs, a flat butt, and a double chin is hot. To quote Tina Fey, these days every woman is expected to have: "Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes." Looking at Ms. Fey's qualities of a perfect woman, wouldn't you say that most men that would find that attractive? Your trait are two different extremes when it should be a spectrum. Not everyone likes the same traits. Men dont have an actual template for beauty
verhrzn Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Your trait are two different extremes when it should be a spectrum. Not everyone likes the same traits. Men dont have an actual template for beauty Then how do you explain the same types of women getting hit on over and over, and the same types getting ignored? How do you explain studies that confirm that 2/3rd of men hit on 1/3rd (the women rated the most attractive) of women online?
joystickd Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Then how do you explain the same types of women getting hit on over and over, and the same types getting ignored? How do you explain studies that confirm that 2/3rd of men hit on 1/3rd (the women rated the most attractive) of women online? most of the 1/3 online shows their goods online. what studies?
verhrzn Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 most of the 1/3 online shows their goods online. what studies? Your Looks and Your Inbox « OkTrends Essentially, that men rate most women to be average, but primarily message the top 1/3 rated girls. Someone like roomtodance 2/3 of male messages go to the top 1/3 of women. above gets nearly 5 times as many messages as a typical woman and 28 times as many messages as a woman at the low end of our curve. Site-wide, two-thirds of male messages go to the best-looking third of women. You can also see this play out at a bar. If you sit there and observe, it's always the same type of girl getting approached (young and beautiful.) If men have such a variety of attractiveness, then why don't all women get hit on?
carhill Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 In my line of work, yeah, women pretty much get 'hit on' (flirted with in an obvious way) most of the time, regardless of relationship status. It's so common that it's really hard to define what 'sexual harassment' is around these parts. I remember, as an example, working on a job where the office manager and a lady whom I thought was his wife stopped by to see how we were doing. My best friend clued me in later that the lady was another of his employees, a secretary/AR clerk. The way the office manager (married) and the lady (married) were acting, it was really hard to tell they were married to other people. Typical day in my neighborhood, so typical that I might opine that not 'hitting on' everything female that moves historically left me at a marked disadvantage in the local meet and greet scene. If a woman is used to such constant and obvious sexual attention, I can see how anything less might come to be perceived as non-interest. I can safely comment that no female friend in my area has ever complained to me about lack of male attention. Plenty of complaints about the reverse. I'm sure such dynamics vary widely, so YMMV.
mesmerized Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Your Looks and Your Inbox « OkTrends Essentially, that men rate most women to be average, but primarily message the top 1/3 rated girls. You can also see this play out at a bar. If you sit there and observe, it's always the same type of girl getting approached (young and beautiful.) If men have such a variety of attractiveness, then why don't all women get hit on? Quoted for the truth!
mesmerized Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Sorry, still not convinced. Let's run down a list of traits and guess which ones guys find more attractive. Perky boobs: saggy boobs Round butt: flat butt Athletic: fat Pouty lips: thin lips Defined jawline: double chin Hairless: hairy I'll grant you that details like hair color, hair length, eye color, skin color, etc. might differ. But I have yet to hear any guy say that a fat girl with saggy boobs, a flat butt, and a double chin is hot. To quote Tina Fey, these days every woman is expected to have: "Caucasian blue eyes, full Spanish lips, a classic button nose, hairless Asian skin with a California tan, a Jamaican dance hall ass, long Swedish legs, small Japanese feet, the abs of a lesbian gym owner, the hips of a nine-year-old boy, the arms of Michelle Obama, and doll tits. The person closest to actually achieving this look is Kim Kardashian, who, as we know, was made by Russian scientists to sabotage our athletes." Looking at Ms. Fey's qualities of a perfect woman, wouldn't you say that most men that would find that attractive? Not true, guys love my hips and they are as womanly as they can get. Guys love big hips that is proportionate to your body.
Kamille Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I find that I get hit on if I'm in the mood for it... Which suggests that, at least in my case, attitude has a lot to do with it. I can walk in my neighborhood and not have a single guy look at me and I can walk in my neighborhood and get hit on (chatted up / smiles / comments). The major difference is how I dress (glasses/no glasses seems to be a big one), look (no make up / make up), how I walk (fast-paced / relaxed), and my focus (lost in thought / paying attention to my surroundings). Basically, if I put in the effort, I get noticed. It's nice to "have control" over it. 1
kaylan Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 (edited) Your Looks and Your Inbox « OkTrends Essentially, that men rate most women to be average, but primarily message the top 1/3 rated girls. You can also see this play out at a bar. If you sit there and observe, it's always the same type of girl getting approached (young and beautiful.) If men have such a variety of attractiveness, then why don't all women get hit on? I could say the same of women. Dudes who are better looking get responded to way more...and because women get contacted first, most of them will weed through the guys and pick the hottest one. Lets be real...Ive had chick friends who went through their inbox with me chillin in the room. A bar is no different. The guys who usually get more positive responses from women are the typical tall, good looking, and in shape guys. Women and men dont behave much differently. Good looks are good looks. Im not sweating it though because I get mine. I find that I get hit on if I'm in the mood for it... Which suggests that, at least in my case, attitude has a lot to do with it. I can walk in my neighborhood and not have a single guy look at me and I can walk in my neighborhood and get hit on (chatted up / smiles / comments). The major difference is how I dress (glasses/no glasses seems to be a big one), look (no make up / make up), how I walk (fast-paced / relaxed), and my focus (lost in thought / paying attention to my surroundings). Basically, if I put in the effort, I get noticed. It's nice to "have control" over it. This too. When I grew my hair, changed my style a bit, and actually put forth "im super friendly and fun" body language...chicks seemed way more open to me. Edited March 11, 2012 by kaylan
verhrzn Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Not true, guys love my hips and they are as womanly as they can get. Guys love big hips that is proportionate to your body. True, that's probably the part I'd disagree with as well, as I know plenty of guys who love the "hourglass" figure. (Wide bust, tiny waist, wide hips.)
verhrzn Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I could say the same of women. Dudes who are better looking get responded to way more...and because women get contacted first, most of them will weed through the guys and pick the hottest one. Lets be real...Ive had chick friends who went through their inbox with me chillin in the room. A bar is no different. The guys who usually get more positive responses from women are the typical tall, good looking, and in shape guys. Women and men dont behave much differently. Good looks are good looks. Im not sweating it though because I get mine. True that good looks matter to women as well. As more and more women became the aggressors in the early stages of a relationship (doing the approaching and flirting) you see them choosing the best looking men... because if you're going to approach someone and risk rejection, well then you're gonna go after The Prize. Kind of a fun "be careful what you wish for" to all the guys on here that whine about how women should approach more. However, when women are the, let's say selectors, I think a guy's looks matter, but he improves his chances just by approaching. It shows confidence and "masculine" (aggressive) qualities, and he can show off as funny/witty/rich he is. I do not think the same is true of women approaching men.... if a guy doesn't think you're attractive, approaching him is not going to change his mind. Either way, my original point was hot/above average women get hit on anywhere from sometimes to a lot, below average/ugly women rarely get hit on. Fair to say?
threebyfate Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 The closest to any form of universal rating system might be: Coyote uglyUglyAverageAbove AverageBeautiful Within these substantial buckets, most can probably agree unless they have specific fetishes like racial preferences. Based on discussions and observations with different women within different categories, beautiful and above average will get hit on/chatted up more often by strange or known men. The average category will get hit on/chatted up more often if they display through body language that they're fun and friendly but not by strange men. More from guys who they get to know to some degree. 1
starla33 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I'm above average and get hit on and am pretty oblivious to it a lot of the time when friends point out someone keeps staring at me. Not like i have ever gone out with any of the people that have hit on me at a bar though...
AD1980 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 True that good looks matter to women as well. As more and more women became the aggressors in the early stages of a relationship (doing the approaching and flirting) you see them choosing the best looking men... because if you're going to approach someone and risk rejection, well then you're gonna go after The Prize. Kind of a fun "be careful what you wish for" to all the guys on here that whine about how women should approach more. However, when women are the, let's say selectors, I think a guy's looks matter, but he improves his chances just by approaching. It shows confidence and "masculine" (aggressive) qualities, and he can show off as funny/witty/rich he is. I do not think the same is true of women approaching men.... if a guy doesn't think you're attractive, approaching him is not going to change his mind. Either way, my original point was hot/above average women get hit on anywhere from sometimes to a lot, below average/ugly women rarely get hit on. Fair to say? Both genders are into looks equally..Theyre are people from both genders who value looks on different levels..To some its highly important to others its only a piece of the puzzle.. Both both genders need to be somewhat attracted to the person for any chance of it to work
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