crazylove Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 When she sent me the message afterwards she also wrote that she was surprised about what happened (and about herself) and didn't expect this. So I assume I was already kind of "friendzoned" before and now things have changed. We had another good phone call and I'll meet her tomorrow. And I have condoms... Yay! Good luck!
mtber75 Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 Update: we were talking on the phone meanwhile, light texting (keeping in touch) on a daily basis and met again last friday. Quite frankly, it was one of the most beautiful days I spent in years. As she is somewhat busy the next 2 weeks (final exams) she told me before that she wouldnt have as much time as in our previous meetings which was ok for me. So we planned to just go out on the basketball court in the late morning and play a bit (perfect weather). Surprisingly she invited me to her place afterwards and we were topping and eating pizza. After that she wanted to take a "short walk before throwing me out" (quote, in a playful way) which was not short after all. We were sitting on a riverside and talking for another 3 hours. In short, we met about 4 hours longer than she had initially planned. It also didnt feel like a "date" with all those obligations and expectations, it was just a great day, just the two of us. While playing basketball we obviously established body contact in a natural way and while I did get a little closer and more touchy ( ) than you would in regular play I didnt inappropriately touch her on purpose (like grabbing her breast with my hands), in our conversation later I touched her (hot) calves and complimented her which I believe she found somewhat flattering So I'm 100% sure she also really enjoyed this day and she should know 100% that I'm interested in her. However, she already asked me about previous relationships in our 2nd date (where I could evade the topic). This time she told me more direct that she could come to certain conclusions due to my reluctance to talk about relationships, I somehow could evade it again in a playful manner. As she is certainly not stupid though, she probably already had a clue in our 2nd date, and things were crystal clear to her last friday. Well, monday we were talking on the phone and at the end of another really enjoyable conversation she managed to move the topic to the sexuality/relationship thing again and directly asked me whether I was still a virgin... Obviously there was no real way out of that. We continued with conjunctive terms like "would that be a problem", "no but it would be something that needed an explanation" and so on. Finally I told her that she would understand it. So while not directly replying to her question...well So, she wants to see me again after her exams but I somehow feel that even though she probably knew it before she won't be willing to accept this and doesn't see me as a potential partner anymore. Last text message I sent was unreplied, nothing from her and I'm reluctant to send another. Opinions? What to do? Lay low? She might be hesitant to go out with you again because of where the date might lead...Sex. Since she probably pretty much found out that you are a virgin she might not want the emotional attachment that comes with deflowering a virgin. You have to play it cool and don't text her often. Sense of desperation (texting constantly) will surely turn her off. The key is play it cool!
Author NotForTheDough Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 another update: after the dubious message after kissing me we met again. This time I thought I'd really screwed it up. After a few cool hours I started talking about the recent messages and what happened last time. Her first comment was that she "expected this" (surprise). Well I'll make it short, the conversation escalated. While I continued to talk and push her into some kind of commitment she put up her self protecting barrier and replied in an increasing harsh and hurtful manner. End of story, she gave me a kiss on the cheek, told me she needs to go and left while fighting her tears. I hurt her which obviously was not my intention at all... That was emotionally intense for both of us. You could say that this wasn't really "needed" however with my limited experience it helped me to understand her better, because it was the first time she actually _showed_ me her feelings instead of just replying to my words. And I must say she has a really complex personality...Nonetheless, in the next week we only exchanged 2 messages, I apologized, she replied with another hurtful and aggressive message which lead me to conclude that I should let it go finally. But as you might assume, our contact intensified again. Obviously the tough and experienced woman has found something in the inexperienced male virgin...last 2 dates we kissed again and she "allowed" me to explore her body I'll drop another update in a few weeks
Necris Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 Is it really bad to be a virgin? It seems that women think of it is as a bad thing that a man has never been touched by another woman. IMO Virginity should have "boss" status.
Author NotForTheDough Posted May 19, 2012 Author Posted May 19, 2012 well, being a prime example I can say that I don't consider it particularly "bad" however I certainly wouldn't consider myself to have a "boss status". It's just as things went in my life and I'm not really ashamed of it in any way. Besides the good things I missed out, I definitely also missed out quite a bunch of emotional crap and drama many others carry around, being in unhealthy relationships just for the sake of not being alone or whatever with all the negative implications. Even though I have an intrinsic wish to share my life now with someone I have feelings for (and vice versa) I can easily toggle back and continue to go alone. As I value my freedom more than anything else this is a quite comfortable position. The only real downside of the missing experience is that I don't know yet if I can physically satisfy a woman. But I guess I'll find out soon
goldengirl11 Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 well, being a prime example I can say that I don't consider it particularly "bad" however I certainly wouldn't consider myself to have a "boss status". It's just as things went in my life and I'm not really ashamed of it in any way. Besides the good things I missed out, I definitely also missed out quite a bunch of emotional crap and drama many others carry around, being in unhealthy relationships just for the sake of not being alone or whatever with all the negative implications. Even though I have an intrinsic wish to share my life now with someone I have feelings for (and vice versa) I can easily toggle back and continue to go alone. As I value my freedom more than anything else this is a quite comfortable position. The only real downside of the missing experience is that I don't know yet if I can physically satisfy a woman. But I guess I'll find out soon I think she is a very lucky girl. 1
Freddys Posted May 19, 2012 Posted May 19, 2012 well, being a prime example I can say that I don't consider it particularly "bad" however I certainly wouldn't consider myself to have a "boss status". It's just as things went in my life and I'm not really ashamed of it in any way. Besides the good things I missed out, I definitely also missed out quite a bunch of emotional crap and drama many others carry around, being in unhealthy relationships just for the sake of not being alone or whatever with all the negative implications. Even though I have an intrinsic wish to share my life now with someone I have feelings for (and vice versa) I can easily toggle back and continue to go alone. As I value my freedom more than anything else this is a quite comfortable position. The only real downside of the missing experience is that I don't know yet if I can physically satisfy a woman. But I guess I'll find out soon Being "just" a smart & intelligent guy does not give you the girl. You may be athletic, good looking BUT that's not the only point. Off course you shouldn't be ashamed of yourself and how things went into your life. You saw yourself that haven't lived all that emotional "crap" or "unhealthy" relationships WAS a huge minus and the main reason you lost the girl of your dreams . . . Deep into yourself you want badly to go back in time and start dating again in your early 20's. ALL women are freaking out with totally inexperienced men. You may look with Tom Cruise or David Beckham, BUT they don't give a ****, and I bet anything to this point! Moreover at the age of 29 (!!) . . . And they are freaking out not BECAUSE of virginity, they are freaking out BECAUSE you are a MONSTROUS risk of pain to them. A pain they may never experienced before. Is like you start riding a bicycle at the age of 29 and you want to do all the tricks within a month or so . . Which is IMPOSSIBLE. Is like you start driving a car at the age of 29 and you want to do all the drifting tricks within a month or so . . Which is IMPOSSIBLE. You don't have a chance with this girl, you already got hurt more than she is and soon you will be creeping out your own self than hers (!). EVERYTHING you feel right now, ALL your thinking are a totally new experience to you, which is a very bad situation for yourself. You should HAVE experienced all these "crap" much more earlier. NOW you have no idea how to respond to anything she says or do. You don't know what you are doing at all. You actions so far proved this. You should stay strong, forget this girl OR you are going to get hurt even more, and BELIEVE ME, you are going to get hurt to a dangerous level for your own self. This girl already REJECTED you (long time ago), she is just letting you easily, not for you, but for herself. Off course she has feelings for you, she likes you very much, BUT she knows is a totally DEAD END for you two. She is healing herself step by step. My last word for you... With your "decision" not to have any kind of relationship with women, you BECAME way too asexual, and you have no idea about it. Is how your body and mind communicates in a subtle way with females. Hope you recover the sooner & to meet your soul mate even sooner.
Author NotForTheDough Posted May 23, 2012 Author Posted May 23, 2012 well, your arguments sound valid however they do not reflect reality. On the same day she wanted to meet me at my place and we ended up in bed. She didn't want me to take off her pantie this time though. For some reason I obviously did quite a lot right despite being a "newbie" (maybe intuition or porn lol), I explored her body with passion and tenderness. This led her to spend the whole night with me and meet me again the next evening, when we had oral sex. Looks like I'm not a "monster" after all, but I'm still learning of course. But I certainly don't see any danger...I may be just getting started with sexual experiences but I still have the brain of a 29y/o. I can handle it, and she certainly can.
ascendotum Posted May 23, 2012 Posted May 23, 2012 Just saw your latest post OP, congratulations. Giving your other recent post about hurtful & aggressive msgs from her I really thought that was the end of the story. She's changed her mind and its looks like its going to work out for you and this girl. Bet you're rapt. Sorry if I came off as too harsh in my earlier posts, but I have seen/heard scenarios like this before and the inexperienced guy is a too naive about how he is viewed by women.
ohmygoshistalk Posted May 24, 2012 Posted May 24, 2012 there was a time when i preferred virgin guys lol. although personally i dont think you should go around announcing this to every girl u like. almost all girls dont like this, for some reason.
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