Woggle Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Please reassure me that most married women don't think this way. I know I am posting this crap again but how am I supposed to not be paranoid when I look at this? Monique Honaman: I Just Wish He Would Have An Affair!
xxoo Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Please reassure me that most married women don't think this way. I know I am posting this crap again but how am I supposed to not be paranoid when I look at this? Monique Honaman: I Just Wish He Would Have An Affair! It would be a knife to my heart if my H had an affair Because you asked so nicely, I clicked through and read the article. My conclusion--this blogger gets to hear from lots of unhappy women, because she blogs about divorce. See the bottom on the article--she wrote a darned book on divorcing! People don't write to her to tell her how happily married they are. And of those women who wrote to her, a handful added on this "I wish he would have an affair" nonsense, because it would make him the bad guy. And the blogger thought it would be a good story, so she ran with it. It doesn't make it common. At all. 2
soserious1 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Well here's at least one LS woman who doesn't, in fact she's practically on her knees groveling & begging her husband for crumbs of affection and sex. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/316931-spouses-roommates
Feliciti Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Skimmed it, and it does appear to be about people who wants a divorce. Wouldn't it make more sense to just... you know, get a divorce? Or is it about getting a bigger piece of the pie during the divorce? I'd most certainly not want my boyfriend to have an affair...
Author Woggle Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 It seems to me that they want a divorce and to make their spouse look like the bad guy. 2
xxoo Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 It seems to me that they want a divorce and to make their spouse look like the bad guy. Yes, that's true for the miserable women who say this. Does it really seem like most married women want a divorce? Because that isn't true.
Badsingularity Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 If a married woman is attracted to her husband, the last thing she would want is to share him with someone else. 3
HHC Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I love my husband. I desire my husband. I want my husband to be happy. I want to stay married to my husband. I want to grow old together. No way would I want him to have an affair. The mere thought hurts my insides. If my marriage was loveless, or he wasn't a nice man, then I can see why him having an affair would make it easier to move on and end it. Blame something or someone. 3
Author Woggle Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 Yes, that's true for the miserable women who say this. Does it really seem like most married women want a divorce? Because that isn't true. With the exception of the usual suspects on this forum and some I know offline I say yes. I am being honest.
whichwayisup Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Please reassure me that most married women don't think this way. I know I am posting this crap again but how am I supposed to not be paranoid when I look at this? Monique Honaman: I Just Wish He Would Have An Affair! STOP LOOKING AND READING those links..As you can see, NO good can come of them and all they do is feed your fears and make your blood boil, sending you off into insecurity land. I'm right, right? Anyway, I have no interest in reading the link - So I'm not even going to bother clicking on it. Who cares what it says.. It has no bearing or affect on me and my life. 5
2sunny Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I only know one woman who wanted her husband to have an affair - and that was because she wanted to feel ok about HER willingness to cheat - to relieve guilt. I don't know anyone else who would want that. When my cheating husband wanted me to have a revenge affair - I found that completely offensive! He wanted to feel lees guilty - so he wanted me to compromise MY value system! No way!!! 1
maybealone Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I wish my wife would have an affair... Oh yeah, there are moments I wish my husband would have an affair. I didn't click the link, but I would guess most people saying that are people in an unhappy marriage like I am. For me, it's not because I want him to be the bad guy, but I do think it would make ending it easier. He's clinging to a bad marriage, and an affair would mean he is ready to let go and move on.
maybealone Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 So get a divorce. I am, but that wasn't really my point.
CarrieT Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I know I am posting this crap again... Then STOP! Why continue in destructive behaviour when you KNOW it is destructive to your psyche? but how am I supposed to not be paranoid when I look at this? By reading all of the reports and articles that contradict these types of stories -- which you KNOW are out there!!! Really, Woggle - you are your own worst enemy and the sad part about this is, YOU KNOW IT! We go over this sort of thing with you again and again and again and again... Instead of searching out and devising your own demise, why not take honest steps towards a healthier exist??? 1
loveandlove Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I am going through marital issues and honestly I feel if my husband had an affair then I would definitely leave. I'd finally stop putting up with all the other BS and leave. But I also thought, well would I just find some way to blame myself for that? I think it would hurt anyone's self esteem no matter what, even if it was the thing that finally got you to leave. It's really a terrible thing. 1
soserious1 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Woggle, this looks like it would be an interesting topic to discuss with your wife. 4
threebyfate Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Several different women have contacted meSo several equals all or most? As for the several women in question, grow some balls and try to fix your marriage and if not, walk. Can't stand passive people.
Stillgrowing Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 it was fleeting, but it was there. We are headed towards divorce at some point and based on just his general personality and mine, he'll come out looking like the good guy because he'll never leave me and I don't know how much longer we can make it. He has a narcisistic personality disorder and it makes it hard to be married to him. He lacks empathy and was better at faking it through the first part of our marriage and by the time I put my finger on what was wrong I was in too deep and have stuck it out for commitment, love, and the kids. So when I leave him, everyone, except my close friends, and I suspect his sister, will be wondering why I left such a great guy who is always so friendly and outgoing, good looking, a good provider, etc.... It would be easier on me if he royally screwed up but he won't. He's always in control (and always controlling). So I'm getting my ducks in a row and going to request him to get counseling with me. I have a feeling that at the request for counseling things will get really, really ugly so I need to be ready to put up or shut up at that point. But I'll try, for all the reasons I've been trying for so long. So my feeling of, "Good God, please just have an affair and end this" is not my general stance in life, it is just a thought (fleeting) to get me out of this mess the chicken's way. I would highly doubt most women would feel this way in general. It took me 22 years of really awful behavior to get here. I glanced at the blog. Her audience is NOT women in healthy, loving relationships, her audience is broken and sad and looking for validation.
TigerCub Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Hey Woggle, I read the article, and it is rather depressing. Those women mentioned in the article don't represent the majority of women. Those are women that are terribly unhappy and too cowardly to do something about it, so they wish their nice guy husband would do something to justify the divorce. Also, I'm sure that there is such a thing as "be careful what you wish for" and if those women actually did find out about an affair, it would be heart breaking. I honestly doubt that anyone on earth truly hopes to be played for a fool and betrayed. So don't believe every article you read and make it reinforce your mistrust of woman kind 2
quankanne Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 "they tell me, there really isn't anything 'wrong' with their husbands ... they just don't want to be married to them anymore because they have fallen out of love." ---> Those are women that are terribly unhappy and too cowardly to do something about it, so they wish their nice guy husband would do something to justify the divorce. asked and answered ... the people (because both sexes are guilty of this) who say this kind of thing are the ones who don't want to do anything to try to improve the situation (marriage enrichment? Counseling?) and therefore think if their partner does something shady like having an affair, it justifies both their thought process and their refusal to take action. here's the plain truth: The longer you stay with someone, the more likely you're gonna hate that person as passionately as you love them because you're both human, and therefore, neither of you are perfect and you'll manage to piss each other off from time to time. The difference is, the couples who are in healthy relationships understand this, but pay it no serious attention because they're focused on and invested in that foundation of love that upholds their marriage. the women in the link you posted aren't thinking of the marriage as an "us" thing, but a "I/him" thing, so they're gonna say stuff like that to justify their unhappiness. Not everyone is like that, it just seems that we only hear about them more often than we do the ones who actually like their partners and being married. keep the faith, Woggle ... and know that not every woman has a skewed view of marriage and fidelity. Just like TV viewers accept that folks from your beloved Jersey aren't all "Jersey Shore" trash! 1
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