Me...IamMe Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Can anyone answer? How as humans we can disregard the other humans who have been the closest to us in our lives? We are closer spiritually, emotionally, physically etc. To our exs than anyone in our life if we really had love. But yet they become ghosts that bring smiles or tears or absolute nothingness. The nothingness is the one that gets me. What's wrong with our race? "All these moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain...Time to die"Roy Batty(Bladderunner)
stimson554 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 as far as the one disgarding you is concerned they are moving on to better things, so why should we think any differently? why not replace the pain with success, one up them, make them feel insignificant?? become more than that person could have ever imagined, thats motivation enough to get some people where they want to be. infact many famous people have made it big because of that motivation you can read stories everywhere. being compoletely abandoned by someone so dear to you can make or break you, its up to you to decide which. 1
Author Me...IamMe Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 Its not about the one leaving me. But more of a philosophical question. What makes one day to the next or month to month a gauge for what love is. I understand feelings change. But just the absence of feeling anything at all because it was 798 days ago. We are strange creatures
stimson554 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 ahhhh, Indeed it is truly a modern mystery, and the human mind works in mysterious ways, perhaps a chemical inbalance, perhaps blissful unawareness, perhaps a generalized understanding of what love is. to sum it up in words would take a great deal of time I'm sure. but one can only wonder.
freetolove Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 It's because the other person didn't care enough. wandering hearts. temptations, wrong place, wrong time.
redrose123 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 I don't understand it either. I just had the first face to face conversation with my ex yesterday and he was so cold, it felt like I was talking to a stranger and this is supposed to be the same person who 3 weeks ago told me he loved me..
Numb79 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 I think when someone gets dumped... its usually because the Dumper has already gone through the stages while you were still in the relationship. It wasn't a split second decision, they ended the relationship on their terms and thats why they act that way. They probably spent weeks or months slowly letting go of any emotional attachment they once had to you. They are probably ready to move on with their life. Think of it this way..... they looked at the relationship and decided... "nah, I'll pass" Or the other reason could be is that they are cold to you on purpose. Its as if they care for you as a person and they are helping you get this horrible image of them so you are able to let go. Kinda like.... being mean to be nice. If that makes any sense.... Just a thought
jus d'orange Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Yes, what you said is true. However: My ex will forever be an incredibly important person in my life. That being said, she was a part of THAT chapter of my life. From her, I have learned so much. There were great pleasures and pains and coming-of-age experiences with her that will forever make who I am and forever be important to me. Once two people part who have been together for a long time, it doesn't really matter whether they ever speak again. That closeness has permanent, meaningful impact. There will be someone or something else in their place, if the healing process is allowed to take place.
g450 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 If we knew the answer to your question we would all be millionairs. I would give half of what I own just to jump into my XWs brain and heart for one second to see what is or was going on in there. It will always be a mystery to me.
mississippimom Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I don't understand it either. I just had the first face to face conversation with my ex yesterday and he was so cold, it felt like I was talking to a stranger and this is supposed to be the same person who 3 weeks ago told me he loved me.. I heard the same saying plenty of times but now it's like we r strangers, it's almost like he just acts like we never met.
sweetheart5381 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 I heard the same saying plenty of times but now it's like we r strangers, it's almost like he just acts like we never met. Painful as hell to feel that way. As though you never REALLY met. He treated me like a stranger when he broke up with me hastily cuz he was upset/angry. I cannot forgive that coldness. In my recovery from this breakup it seems to serve me well to not dwell on the relationship, rather to remember what it felt like to not think about him.. to see him in passing and not really notice him. He and I see each other everyday at work so it sorta helps to go back to the time before he was really important to me. If he is cold to you, don't worry... he will freeze eventually. And when he does you will still be warm, all on your own just by being you. . 1
mississippimom Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 (edited) Painful as hell to feel that way. As though you never REALLY met. He treated me like a stranger when he broke up with me hastily cuz he was upset/angry. I cannot forgive that coldness. In my recovery from this breakup it seems to serve me well to not dwell on the relationship, rather to remember what it felt like to not think about him.. to see him in passing and not really notice him. He and I see each other everyday at work so it sorta helps to go back to the time before he was really important to me. If he is cold to you, don't worry... he will freeze eventually. And when he does you will still be warm, all on your own just by being you. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Well I blocked him on FB, deleted his call from last night and I'm changing my number soon bc I feel like he's not trying to be my friend, as he wants to be, even my own best friend of 25 yrs wouldn't treat me cold like that...I just get so frustrated when he was like, u gotta be strong, blah blah, whereas HE kept texting or calling, and I had already deleted his number...now look who isn't the "strong" one....I don't know why the hell he acts like he cares, he has a new gf (met her a month ago, moved in with her 3 WEEKS ago)....it's like I'm just there for his benefit to make himself feel good. I'm the one that dumped him bc he refuses to grow up and be a MAN. Edited March 11, 2012 by mississippimom mispelt
stimson554 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 what ever it may be, Don't even shed a tear for that person, in the words of a great man "Life goes on."
HighFlight12 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 unfortunately we live in a world, where people don't know how to have compassion for one another, and they are eager to give up so easily, it's not quite like the 70's where the divorce rate wasn't at a high as it is now. I blame society!
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