chris09s Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Back story - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/316612-2-month-breakup#post3860856 Tonight, my ex-gf texted me saying, "I'm on edge." I did not respond (nor do I think I will respond - at least to this text); however, I really do want this girl back. While we only dated two months and I wasn't sure, I have realized my feelings for her. I really think she is doubting the break up, as she should. We never had a "bad" conversation/date/whatever. We got along extremely well. I just need a little encouragement. What should I do?
coltsfan1 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 if it wasn't a bad break up ask her what she is on edge about? If it was a bad break up and she left I would suggest you just ignore it.
Author chris09s Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 It was not a bad break up in the least. We never had any harsh words exchanged or anything. I'll be honest, I've been in love with ex's in the past and can understand where she is coming from, but at the same time, I don't want to be playing cat and mouse with her. I pretty much told (in the e-mail in the last post) that she needed to decide what she wanted. That's why I'm tentative in responding.
Chi townD Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 (edited) Uh...okay. I have no idea what "I'm on edge" means. Normally, they give you a little bit more to read between the line with. However, I did read your orginal thread and you told her that she was NOT to contact you UNTIL she figured out what she wanted. So, I would text her with that. "Did you figure out what you wanted?" if she give you some BS "I'm still confused "speech, then you know all she was doing was pulling on th leash to see if the dog was still there. Edited March 10, 2012 by Chi townD
Falcon25 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Back story - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/316612-2-month-breakup#post3860856 Tonight, my ex-gf texted me saying, "I'm on edge." I did not respond (nor do I think I will respond - at least to this text); however, I really do want this girl back. While we only dated two months and I wasn't sure, I have realized my feelings for her. I really think she is doubting the break up, as she should. We never had a "bad" conversation/date/whatever. We got along extremely well. I just need a little encouragement. What should I do? Lol, I thought it would be two weeks, but she's playing you a lot sooner than that. Are you done talking shivt to me? Do you want some real advice?
rickys Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 I can't get you. IF there was no date, no bad conversation then how she can say that she in on edge. On more thing, if you wants to get her back then have some conversation with her and talk to her. May be she is waiting for your reply....
KissingItBetter Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Exactly, just simply talk to her, but please find the right time and mood to ask. Timing can either make or break a strategy. Kissingitbetter | Facebook
Author chris09s Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 Lol, I thought it would be two weeks, but she's playing you a lot sooner than that. Are you done talking shivt to me? Do you want some real advice? Talking shivt to you? This is the first you have posted in any thread I've been in...I've only posted 5 times (none involving you). So maybe you have me confused with someone else.
Author chris09s Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 I can't get you. IF there was no date, no bad conversation then how she can say that she in on edge. On more thing, if you wants to get her back then have some conversation with her and talk to her. May be she is waiting for your reply.... Fair enough. I wasn't sure what she was exactly on edge about either. Perhaps she was never sure if she wanted to break up in the first place? That's kind of the vibe I got and it is the reason I went NC. I didn't want to sit there and beg her to get back with me. She had to figure things out for herself. There are a lot of things that could be happening. Maybe her ex and her aren't working out as she thought. Maybe she is playing both sides. Maybe she just wants to be friends. Maybe she wants me back. That's why I am looking for advice. I don't want to jump the first time she texts me after I went NC. I can still respond if that is the best option. It was late last night and I had been drinking, so it was best I didn't respond at that point anyways. Thanks again
freetolove Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Relationships = two people making each other happy. Just be honest and authentic. It's nice that you're getting advice here but just ask her what it means, we can be guessing all day long! PLus if she overreacts and takes things the wrong way, I would hate to be in a relationship where I'm walking on eggshells all day.
Author chris09s Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 (edited) I responded... Me: About what? Her: The job. Me: Sorry. Her: Did you get it? Me: I don't know. Her: Okay. Me: I cannot believe you contacted me about that. Her: I am really curious and want you to get it! Grrr, I don't even know what to say at this point. I honestly do not know if I got the job, I'm supposed to find out in about 2-3 weeks. As I mentioned in the other thread, she asked me to keep her informed about the job, but I told her that I would not (since we were broken up). She then said she would stalk me on FB to find out, but I removed her (she had to get the point?). I was pretty clear (in the email) that I didn't think it was fair to continue texting/talking if she was with someone else, and vice versa. Yet she continues to text me. Is she basically using this (the job) as a way to continue to talk to me? The job really has no relevance to her. I haven't responded since the "I am really curious and want you to get it!" text message. I'm not sure what to say or do next. Edited March 10, 2012 by chris09s
Chi townD Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Ah hah! Breadcrumbs and fishing......ignore it from now on. Now, you know what her intentions are.
mike588 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Back story - http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/316612-2-month-breakup#post3860856 Tonight, my ex-gf texted me saying, "I'm on edge." I did not respond (nor do I think I will respond - at least to this text); however, I really do want this girl back. While we only dated two months and I wasn't sure, I have realized my feelings for her. I really think she is doubting the break up, as she should. We never had a "bad" conversation/date/whatever. We got along extremely well. I just need a little encouragement. What should I do? Does she know you have strong feelings for her? You mention that now you realize your feelings for her. Let her know that (if she doesn't already) without coming across as desperate...needy..in a Boo Hoo way. Let her know then back off...no more contact...it's up to her now.
Author chris09s Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 (edited) Does she know you have strong feelings for her? You mention that now you realize your feelings for her. Let her know that (if she doesn't already) without coming across as desperate...needy..in a Boo Hoo way. Let her know then back off...no more contact...it's up to her now. I'm honestly not sure? I've been very distant since she broke things off. She has contacted me multiple times in the two weeks since she has ended it and I've been relatively short/cold. I feel like she knows I want her. Yet, I'm not sure she realizes that I have realized much more than I did when we were "together." I know she isn't over me. As I mentioned in my initial post, we had a brief conversation about a t-shirt of mine she had shortly after we broke up, and she REALLY wants to keep it. If I don't care about someone, I would never want to keep their stuff. She was VERY adamant about keeping it. Secondly, she wouldn't continue to think/text me if she didn't care. This coming Friday is the day we were supposed to leave for the marathon she is running. I was always a big support system for her. I think she will be devastated if I don't wish her luck. I'm not sure if that is good or bad. If I wish her luck, I'm giving into NC. If I don't, it may make her realize/think that I just don't care - time for her to move on. Maybe the next time she texts me, I need to say, "Have you figured out what you want?" and not give her the opportunity to deflect. If she responds, "No" then I need to say, "I told you that I don't think it is right if we continue to talk/text if you are texting other guys. Please do not talk/text me" and clearly, I need to stop responding and go complete NC - the END. If "Yes," then I will go from there. Edited March 11, 2012 by chris09s
Falcon25 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Thought you were the other chris (the tool in the other thread). Here's an advice for you man, don't say "have you figured out what you wan't". Don't talk at all about the relationship. Let her prove to you that she wants you back. Just act like you are moving on. That's what my ex girlfriends used to say to me "have you figured out what you want? Why don't you want me?" etc. Just lay low, be cool, calm, and collected. She will make it easy for you if she wants you back. No talking about heavy stuff.
Author chris09s Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 Thought you were the other chris (the tool in the other thread). Here's an advice for you man, don't say "have you figured out what you wan't". Don't talk at all about the relationship. Let her prove to you that she wants you back. Just act like you are moving on. That's what my ex girlfriends used to say to me "have you figured out what you want? Why don't you want me?" etc. Just lay low, be cool, calm, and collected. She will make it easy for you if she wants you back. No talking about heavy stuff. You're right and other than in my email, I haven't said any "heavy stuff." Like I said before, I made it pretty clear that she shouldn't contact me until she figures stuff out; yet, she has contacted me multiple times and was adamant about keeping my t-shirt (weird if you ask me - why would you want someones t-shirt with their smell on it if you don't want them?). So, I guess my next question is, how should I act when she texts me? Don't respond? Be short (What I've been doing, but it may come across as bitter)? Be happy (Hey, how's everything? - pretend I don't care)? And should I text her a "good luck" for the marathon or just stay NC unless she contacts me?
Falcon25 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Respond, be short. Like a guy who has another girl. Don't be rude. Be very, very short.
Author chris09s Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 Should I wish her luck on Friday for her marathon or just ignore it? It would be the first time I initiated contact since the break up (two weeks ago today).
Falcon25 Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Should I wish her luck on Friday for her marathon or just ignore it? It would be the first time I initiated contact since the break up (two weeks ago today). Yeah, why not? Do men who have other options care whether they said good luck or not? What have you got to lose? But after that, complete silence, let her initiate, not you. Then move on. She will come back when you least expect it.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Should I wish her luck on Friday for her marathon or just ignore it? It would be the first time I initiated contact since the break up (two weeks ago today). No. Be done with it. Stop wasting your time with this person.
Author chris09s Posted March 12, 2012 Author Posted March 12, 2012 I keep going back and forth about wishing her luck. Today, I'm leaning towards just continuing NC on my end. If she still has any feelings for me, they should really be running through her head during this trip since she really wanted me to go. I feel if I don't contact her, it may open her eyes. If not, her loss.
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