Is my ex girlfriend becoming interested again?

[Mister Spock]

Hi everyone, I could really do with some other people's advice regarding my situation & I'll try to keep it as short as possible.

 

I was with my dream girl for over a year, living together in my place for most of that time. She was perfect, beautiful, caring, great together sexually and mentally. She loved me so much and would do absolutely anything for me, but the problem was that I had just been made redundant when we met and slipped deeper and deeper into depression. I self-medicated with weed (marijuana) and just lost all motivation towards my life. During this time she even took a job as a lapdancer, despite being a graduate, in order to support us both. She is very pretty but hated the job for many different reasons.

 

Eventually she couldn't take it anymore and dumped me and moved back to her mum's house in London (we were living in Manchester). Her reasons were many; she felt I wasn't trying hard enough to find a job (I wasn't), was wallowing in depression too much (I was), smoking too much weed (definitely), not making her feel loved enough or showing her enough affection (all true, but I blame the weed and depression) and taking her for granted by making her pay for EVERYTHING, and I mean everything!

 

When she split up with me I was heartbroken but thought fair enough, I've blown it big time and she doesn't deserve to stick around with the guy I had become.

 

That was a year ago and in that year neither of us attempted to contact each other even once. In that time however, I have completely stopped smoking weed, started working out, got my career back on track and beaten the depression. Basically eliminated all the reasons she broke up with me for. I've never gotten over her and after a recent health scare I though life is too short so I sent her a letter apologising for everything and explaining all the things I've done to improve.

 

She emailed me a reply within a couple of days (remember, neither of us have tried to contact each other for the whole year we've been split up). The first email she sent stated shock at hearing from me out of the blue and a little anger at how I treated her.

 

That was 3 weeks ago and since then we've been emailing each other every single day, normally just one email but sometimes 3 or 4 or 5 in a day.

 

To begin with we went over old relationship issues and tried to talk about what went wrong and then the emails started getting friendly and sometimes a little flirty. Occasionally an email from her will be a bit frosty and will mention how unaffectionate I was with her or how I just used her for money, but I always stand my ground and explain it was the weed/depression and that I always deeply loved her.

 

Every couple of emails she mentions how she's totally over it all now but I don't know if she's just saying that or if she really means it. Is she over it if she's emailing me every day? or does she just care about me and want to be friends?

 

Today's email exchange involved me saying "maybe we should meet up for a coffee one day although I understand if you don't want to as no girl on earth has a lower opinion of me than you do!"

 

She replied within an hour saying (amongst other more chit-chatty things) "Yeah I'll meet up for a coffee sometime and I wouldn't say I have a low opinion of you, I don't know what opinion I have to be honest, I think considering how i am talking to you says a lot"

 

I am now obsessing over all this and trying to understand what she might possibly mean. Neither of us have asked about what we have both been up to with regards to sex and relationships during the last year, so technically neither of us know whether the other one is even currently in a relationship. (I'm not, I've not dated anyone since her)

 

And like I said, she's constantly telling me she's over it all now, do I take this on face value or could she be deflecting/acting cool when in fact she still likes me because daily emails from her does give me a glimmer of hope. I mean, would any girl email an ex every single day if she has no interest or just wants to catch up/be friends... I just don't know!

 

Is she happy to meet me for coffee for platonic reasons or possibly to see whether I have really changed and whether she might like to try things again. She has mentioned a few times on email that it feels like she is talking to a different, better person than the guy she knew when we were living together.

 

I also don't know what that comment about "considering how I am talking to you says a lot" means. Maybe she wants to be friends, maybe she's just interested in what I'm up to now or maybe she is considering the possibility that I've changed (I really have) and that she might be willing to take things slow and try again.

 

I should make it clear that not once has she said she's missed me, still loves me or wants to get back together.... If she'd said any of these things I wouldn't be so confused as to what's going on. But then she did feel very hurt and taken for granted by me so I guess why would she say anything like that after a full year of moving on/no contact.

 

I'm trying not to scare her off by being too keen or needy so I obviously can't ask her to explain what she means so any help or just someone else's perspective would mean the world to me.

 

Many thanks in advance to anyone who attempts to help

Edited March 10, 2012 by Mister Spock

[leoc1973]

well if she took a job like that just to support both of you and your bad habits then at one point she must have loved you very much. I think if you meet her and you look really good and are in better shape then she isn't going to be able to help but to have feelings come rushing back.

 

Most of the time people give advice to act like you don't really care and you are an alpha male and all that but in your case I think you should tell her that she is the reason that you changed and that you would love if she had been living with this you because this is the real you.

 

Still tho during this coffee date make sure you show her you can still make her laugh and have a good time because you don't want her to associate you with anything less than being fun and interesting. Think of it as a first date because thats what it really is.

 

I don't think she would be going back and forth with you like she is if she wasn't interested. You read it on here all the time but from the womans perspective. How some of the girls on here can't wait to wake up and hope that their ex sent them a message that day and she is probably analyzing the hell out of it too. I am pretty sure she is interested and I think by her saying I am talking to you isn't really anything at all. She is just stating that she can't think less of you than any woman on earth because there are a lot of them that don't talk to you. Don't read into that at all.

[Mary-Jane]

Relax, she is interested, otherwise she wouldn't communicate as much. Especially as you got your act together. See how the coffee date goes, what's the point stressing about the unknown.

[Mister Spock]

leoc1973 and mary-jane, thankyou for your replies, it's nice to know that people are out there happy to help and support total strangers

 

Just a quick update on what has happened since I posted my original story... I replied to my ex saying that I'd be coming to London (where she lives) in 3 weeks time and maybe I could arrange it so that I come on a day where she's got 30-60mins free so we could meet up for that coffee. I put no pressure on her and said that if that's no good for her maybe another time in the future.

 

For the first time since we've been emailing each other she didn't reply within an hour or so. In fact she hasn't replied at all and it's been 48 hours now (she uses her iphone for emails, so I know she would have read my email as soon as I sent it).

 

So I'll hang on and see if she does reply, but it looks like she was just bored/being nice and didn't actually have any intention of meeting up.

 

People say this a lot, but I've never been in a relationship with someone so pretty and kind so it hurts to think I need to move on and try and meet someone new who probably won't compare to her. Maybe I've wasted the last year constantly thinking about her and dreaming about winning her back and now I've got to be careful that I don't fall back into depression.

 

A quick reply from her saying that she couldn't or she's too busy or that she's seeing someone would have been nice so I could stop checking my email every 10mins hoping for a reply. I guess she just doesn't want to hurt me and thinks it's easier to just not answer.

 

So it did look good for a while based on all her emails to me, but the silence from her now speaks volumes and it looks like there's no happy ending here.

 

I'm avoiding the temptation of emailing her again as that will look too needy and desperate. I'll leave it a few more days and then delete her email address to stop myself from emailing her and making more of a fool of myself.

[Mary-Jane]

Thanks for updating. Don't be too upset too early, these things are never easy. I imagine it's just that the whole thing is becoming too real for her. After all we don't know if she's got someone else in her life etc. She'll be in touch at some point. PS Every time I break with someone I fear I won't ever meet another guy as good looking as the one I lost and invariably I do end up with someone even better looking. So relax on that front too

[Mister Spock]

It is a funny one, because I never actually expected her to even respond to the initial letter I sent to her that started this renewed contact between us.

 

Like I said, the emails immediately became every day, many times multiple messages back and forth and it really gave me hope. I was sure that she wouldn't be this friendly, chatty and eager to talk if she wasn't just a little bit intrigued and interested.

 

Maybe it was a nice idea in her head but the reality was too much. Maybe she does have a partner. I might be moving to London shortly for work reasons and we had countless chats about how good it would be and maybe we'd see more of each other. It really seemed like she was open to starting again, taking it slow and giving me a chance to prove myself to her as the changed man I claim to be. I made it clear that I've missed her and would like a second chance almost as if I was a new guy she's never met before. She avoided these statements and I thought that because she didn't outright tell me that 'no that's not gonna happen' then she's open to the idea, she doesn't want to lose face or seem too keen herself. When in fact, her silence actually meant she was too scared of upsetting me or just plain embarassed to tell me the truth.

 

And then she says she would like to meet up for a coffee... after a year apart this obviously sends my hope through the roof. I never expected her to let me back into her life as her boyfriend straight away, but it now seemed we were having 'a first date' all over again just to see how it goes and so she can see how I have genuinely changed. Then no reply. It feels very heartless, but I know she wouldn't be being heartless deliberately, so I can't even hate her for it! It's so hard.

 

I wish she hadn't replied to my letter and emailed me so much and been so nice. Made me remember even more just how nice she is. I think her niceness has inadvertently led me on and given me false hope, when she was just genuinely catching up, interested in what I'm doing and being friendly.

 

Oh well, I guess I shouldn't over-think the reasons as I'll probably never know for sure.

[leoc1973]

do you guys always take turns with the e mails? do you send one and she sends one back and forth? or is it more of a you might send 2 and her send 2 or 3 or something like that? What was said in the last email that you recieved? Is it possible that she might not have got it? maybe lost her phone? maybe her boyfriend if there is one might have deleted it? I would give it one more try. She might be reading some kind of stupid online thing that might be telling her to wait 2 days so that she doesn't look so eager. Keep us posted!

[Mister Spock]

Yes, we always take turns with the emails, she sends one to me, I sent one back and so on.

 

In the last email she sent me she was telling me how she went out with her friends and was chatted up by a 'weird' guy who she didn't fancy. She said it wasn't like the night we met when she met someone hot (me) and did all the chatting up herself. It was because she said this that made me think I should go for it and try and sort an actual day to meet for this coffee.

 

I'm not on facebook but I rang my brother who is always on it and asked him to take a quick look at her profile to see if it says whether she is seeing someone or single. She is single.

 

All very confusing. I think she is interested again to a certain degree but maybe feels I had my chance and it's too late to come back into her life declaring that I've changed.

 

Who knows, I'll update again if I get any further contact from her, but I'm not holding my breath that I'll be hearing from her.

[flitzanu]

only one thing in what you said there that you should be mindful of how you say it.

 

you mentioned she "wanted to meet for coffee" and that's not true. she AGREED to meet you, under no specific circumstance.

 

and now, as you've pointed out you said "hey how about we meet on xx-day for that coffee" and she isn't replying.

 

honestly, you should save yourself some heartache and obsession and assume one of two things.

 

1. she didn't get the email. unlikely scenario, but still a small chance.

 

2. she has no interest. if she WANTED to meet up with you and you offered a time, then she'd be jumping at the chance.

 

yes, there are other small grey reasons between the two...but that's really your options.

 

and also just to further validate...i'd bet if you wrote her again and DON'T mention the coffee, but just write her like nothing happened "hey what's up? i had a great weekend, did blah blah blah...what are you up to?" i bet she'll answer you. and in that reply she won't say a word about meeting you for coffee.

[Mister Spock]

Yeah, I can see now that she's not actually interested... I was just hoping against hope that she was! It's been 3 days now and still no reply.

 

Like I said, all the communication and the way we were getting on obviously made me get the wrong impression and I just should have taken it at face value and not tried to read anything into it. It feels like she was leading me on a little bit but she's not like that, I think she was just being friendly and maybe a little bit naive about my feelings.

 

I thought about sending another email without mentioning meeting up for a coffee or anything, but it's not a good idea. I obviously still have feelings for her and any contact from her is just going to pull on my heartstrings. Maybe I'm not emotionally mature enough, but I don't think I can handle just being friends with her even though that's all she wants.

 

Time to delete her email address, chalk this one up to yet another life experience and try to forget about her I guess.

[EgoJoe]

I agree with Flitzanu and what that implies is that she is a "pick-and-choose" responder. Which also means she picks and chooses what to believe. Which means that everything is probably "your fault" in her mind and the fact that you apologized and owned up to everything without even stating an issue with her made her feel good to be in a position of power.

 

You were just used for good feelings. If she emails you again out of nowhere about anything. Don't ignore it, but, quite simply say, "Uh, why would I want to talk to someone who can't show me the respect I deserve with simple correspondence. I am a grown ass man who communicates directly and I don't want anything to do with immature people."

[flitzanu]

Yeah, I can see now that she's not actually interested... I was just hoping against hope that she was! It's been 3 days now and still no reply.

 

Like I said, all the communication and the way we were getting on obviously made me get the wrong impression and I just should have taken it at face value and not tried to read anything into it. It feels like she was leading me on a little bit but she's not like that, I think she was just being friendly and maybe a little bit naive about my feelings.

 

I thought about sending another email without mentioning meeting up for a coffee or anything, but it's not a good idea. I obviously still have feelings for her and any contact from her is just going to pull on my heartstrings. Maybe I'm not emotionally mature enough, but I don't think I can handle just being friends with her even though that's all she wants.

 

Time to delete her email address, chalk this one up to yet another life experience and try to forget about her I guess.

 

very f'kng mature reply here. and sadly i know how this feels, you start talking to an ex and those feelings rush back, and we grasp onto every little thing they say or do, and end up just hurting ourselves again.

 

this is the exact reason why "NC" is the best option until you can wake up one day and realize that you can't remember the last time you even thought about her.

 

cheers mate, keep your chin up!

[Mister Spock]

Thanks for all the help and support guys

 

As it happens I've just had an email from her, she said sorry for the delay in replying but she's been really busy.

 

It was a fairly long email with loads of chatty stuff again about work and what she's been up to.

 

She responded to the 'meeting up/coffee' thing by saying.... "to be honest meeting up after work would probably be best, just let me know nearer the time. It might be a bit weird, and people probably say it is stupid to meet up with an ex, but i just think why not lol, it would be interesting/good to see how well you're doing if u know what i mean."

(I have just copied and pasted the quote direct from her email.)

 

Again it's sort of positive but also non-committal at the same time. I've not replied yet, gonna think about it for a day or two cos I really don't know where to go from here or what to say to her.

 

My honest take is that if she REALLY wanted to meet up she would maybe want to nail down a specific day, but then she does give justification as to why it would be good to meet up. Also the fact that she would rather meet after work and not on a weekend afternoon makes me think is it because she would rather go for an evening/alcoholic drink or because she doesn't want to waste part of a saturday on me? AH, questions questions, need to relax and stop worrying so much!

Edited March 13, 2012 by Mister Spock

[EgoJoe]

Did she say, "I am sorry for the delay." or "Sorry for the delay."

 

I don't think she is interested and I think she wants to meetup on her terms when it is convenient for her because there is something she doesn't want you to know.

 

Don't respond. This is games. She doesn't see an issue with it 'cus she is for the most part, over you.

 

If she follows up she will have had a change of heart etc., otherwise. Just let it go and focus on you.

[Mister Spock]

Her exact opening words were....

 

"Hi, I'm really sorry for the delay in replying to your last email, I've just been so busy with work, gym, my mum and making sure I don't abandon my friends , Hope the last couple of days have been good with you?"

 

(again, I have just directly copied & pasted from her email)

[leoc1973]

I don't know... I hate to get you hopes up but she just happened to wait the exact 3 days that those stupid books tell you to wait? I think she either sat there and fought with herself over the idea because she might be dying to see you or she might have had friends telling her not to respond or wait to respond so that she doesn't look needy or desperate. She brought it up. She didn't avoid it so ya never know. I think if you end up meeting her and you really have straightened your act out and look good she might melt. You don't wanna look back one day and kick yourself for not taking that chance. I mean you are still hurting over her so what more harm can come of it? Don't be negative over this keep hitting the gym and taking care of your life and you never know.

[leesahlo]

You sound like a thoughtful, person. Try to put herself in her shoes. She did everything for you, gave of her self, sacrificed, to make you relationship work, and was still deeply disappointed. You probably dont know how badly it hurt her to have to give up on you and her dreams of a life with you. She doesnt sound like the type to walk away easily.

If she seems hesitant, undecided, non-committal now, it's more than likely because she is protecting herself. Even though she is drawn to you, dhe is nervous and afraid to see you, because of the very real possibility of being hurt and disappointed again. The three days of no response were propably her fighting with herself- terrified on one hand, hopeful on another. Rebuilding trust is not easy - wants to wait and see if your change is something real and can be trusted. Trust takes a long time to rebuild. Be patient with her.

 

The fact that she suggested getting together after work, sounds to me like she is propably open to more than coffee, like maybe drinks, and possibly dinner.

[Mister Spock]

Just a bit of closure on this whole saga for anyone who has been following.

 

I don't want to go into all the details right now as I'm still too upset and it's all a bit too raw right now, but long story short, she's single right now, feeling a bit bored and lonely and just enjoyed getting a bit of attention and affection from someone she thought never really cared about her (me). It was all just a bit of a short term ego boost for her and she had no intention of ever meeting up or giving me a second chance.

 

Thanks for everyone who posted and offered advice, it really is appreciated and like I said before, it's really heartwarming to know that there are people out there like you guys. No happy ending for me, but the lesson I learnt is to put your best foot forward and take your opportunities when you get them because if you mess it up you may not get a second chance. I didn't.

 

Thanks again everyone, time for me to get back to healing!

[offcloudnine]

Late to the scene, but I'm really sorry that it couldn't work out for you Mister Spock.

 

As far as I know, it seems there won't be a happy ending for me either. But life does go on, happy or sad.

[TaraMaiden]

Don't blame weed for what you were like.

 

Blame you for taking weed and not doing something more constructive.

 

To her, you were wonderful - for a while, and she liked that - but in her mind, you also became a poisonous parasite, and she had nothing left to give. that's why she left.

Had she carried on, she would have become someone different, changed and compromised her own self for the sake of someone who had no get up and go (you).

i know you have stepped up to the plate, and i realise it hurts.

but i'm adding things in order to perhaps give you an insight into why things turned out as they did...

 

you can't change what she thinks and does.

but you can change what you think and do.

everything is a choice.

It always is a choice.

Use this as a really good lesson in how not to mess up your life again.

ir somebody else's.

 

"It's the person who cares the least, who controls the most."

She cares less than you do...

 

read my signature link.

And be the person who will find the one who really cares for you.

[Mister Spock]

Boy this whole thing is really hard for me right now. We've been split up over a year so I don't know why I've not healed the way she has.

 

She's made it clear that she never wants to be anything more than friends and that I should have no hope for a possible reconciliation, but we're still emailing each other daily, sometimes 4 or 5 emails a day.

 

A few days ago she even asked for my new number so we could talk, we ended up on the phone for hours until 2 in the morning with us both having to go to bed for work, we haven't spoken on the phone since we split up over a year ago and it was so natural and nice, it was obvious she was very happy and comfortable talking to me again. She even said she forgot how attracted to my voice she was. I didn't ask but she made a point of telling me she's single, but then mentioned that she loves being single and doesn't want or need anyone in her life. She then mentioned a couple of special dishes that I used to cook for her and how she'd like to think maybe one day she could have them again. Mixed signals!

 

She just emailed me (for the second time today, and it's only 1PM) and brought up the coffee date that we still haven't been on. She said she wants to meet up but for me to know that it's just as friends and never anything more than that, and if it's going to give me false hope then I should decline the offer. When we were on the phone I said that if we met up once and it went well I'd like her to consider the possibility that we could do it again one day, and if that went well too, who knows what the future could bring if we took it slowly (I know it was a big mistake saying that). She was warm to the idea on the phone, but now on email she doesn't want me to get false hope. Yet she doesn't realise the constant emails are in themselves false hope.

 

I know the truth, she just want to be friends with me because she still likes me/has affection for me but never wants to see me in a romantic way again. I just don't understand why she emails so much and makes a point of saying things like she's single. I didn't ask, so why tell, or why not lie and say she is seeing someone?

 

And why does she email me so much? she doesn't contact her regular friends or any exes the way she contacts me so frequently. She tells me about what she's been up to, her career hopes for the future, what she wants to do with her life, how ****ty she's feeling after a day in work, she even talks about deep anxieties and paranoid feelings she sometimes gets and all sorts of stuff.

 

This is so hard and upsetting for me.

[TaraMaiden]

Boy this whole thing is really hard for me right now. We've been split up over a year so I don't know why I've not healed the way she has.

1: Because she dumped you.

Dumpers don't need to heal. Dumpers just need to come to terms with their own reasoning, not add a broken heart to that.

 

2:

because what you're doing at the moment, is taking the wound, with over 365 stitches in it, and ripping them out with your teeth, opening up the wound, and making it bleed....

 

did you not read my post to you?

the last one on page one....

I told you to read the signature link...

i advised you to go complete no contact!

And you must still do that!

 

please - for your own sanity - open it up, copy, paste, print out, and stick a copy up on every single wall in your home.

Read it, read it again, and then read it some more.....

You HAVE to implement No Contact.

you absolutely must....

All the answers you're looking for - are right in there.

It is the only sure-fire, guaranteed way of letting this heal.

for every day you stay in touch, you just add another stitch - you have to stop doing this to yourself - and you have to cut her off completely.

 

Please - for your own good - go No Contact.

Otherwise this will go on until the day she marries another guy and invites you to the wedding.

Won't that be wonderful for you?

[Dimitris26]

I wont drag the convo deep down. I will be as brief as possible.

 

FACTS

 

1. She HAS feelings for you or she wouldnt want to see you alive in the face of the earth ever again.

 

2. She likes the fact that after so much time you are still there for her.

 

3. She gets the feeling of security/safety that no matter what happens with a new love you will always gonna be there for her. (she gets that cause u email her daily and she does that to fill that safety void)

 

4. She (with help of friends/internet) tries to figure out if she has to drag out of herself all those feelings for you.... or you are just an already burned card for her. In other words... "I am alone but... going back to that guy... its just wrong... i just know it" kind of thinking... but as well as "What if he really changed? What if this and that are improved"

 

What to do

 

1. Keep in touch for those 2 weeks untill u go for your JOB to London. Not as frequently. Mail her... like 10mails / week max. MAX!!!! 1 / day and 2 on 2-3 days or smth. that will: FIRE UP her curiocity... "He still mails me... but WHY NOT 5 / day?" She will get down thinking... but she wont have a reason to think you are over her.. but for some wierd reason... your 5 mails were so much better to 1.... SO she will be SO much more emotional to the 1 you send... cause she will have 1 answer back (if you go 1 by 1 email as you said)

 

2. When you go for coffee... you will do the following:

-Be friendly. NO TALK of the relationship

-Talk. TALK AND TALK. dont let her think. for anything. make up something FUNNY and talk about it. Change the subject when you see she lost interest (30min coffee... 5-6 subjects should do it)

-NO silent momments.

-Keep it funny.

-If possible order a coffee and then maybe an ice cream. If things are good and she laughs she will likelly or almost get some chocolate on her lips or somewhere.

-Tell her how to clean it up... 2 times tryin to correct here to where it is... and then say in a funny way taking a napkin and reach to clean her.

BE CAREFULL OF THE FOLLOWING:

1. You will sit AGAINST each other

2. You will not try ANYTHING else than just clean her

3. It WONT take more than 3 moves

4. it WONT take more than 3 seconds.

 

*After all these let us know again*

If you have any questions... i supose we can PM or smth...

 

I hope someone helps me as well cause i am like professional making people "see" what they dont dare to see or fear to see... but i cant help myself... I think no one can help himself cause thats our nature. so dont be afraid of asking things all the time. We communicate after all and that is the SOLUTION to everything.

 

I Hope i helped you...

[Mister Spock]

Wow Dimitris, thanks for the encouraging words.

 

After what my ex had said I was thinking I wouldn't bother with the coffee date and should stop emailing her completely like taramaiden says, because I DO have false hope and do still care deeply about her. Let's be honest, I wouldn't be on here if I wasn't longing for a possible reconciliation!

 

She's actually emailed (and I've replied) another 3 times since I posted my last post earlier today. She mentioned meeting up in her last email, but AGAIN said 'as friends of course'. So I've hidden it from her (I'm acting like being friends is great) but I feel really down. But your post has made me think maybe, just maybe I should give it a shot.

 

I've carried the torch for her for this long that your advice couldn't hurt. Well, maybe meeting up with her could hurt a lot, but I guess if I follow your advice there's a tiny, slim chance it might make her think twice.

 

I'll try it and keep you updated as to what happens.

 

Thanks again

[Dimitris26]

I ve only said all these for these simple reasons:

 

- If you dont go out with her... you will ALWAYS bear in mind,... what if... i had gonne out with her... what if this what if that. so GO and whatever happens its GG for you.

 

- Do what i told you exactly though and read everything. DONT FORGET. BE FUNNY. talk about funny nonesence she will forget 3 hours later but she will remember she laughed and had good time etc..

 

- No matter what happens you will move on with your life... with or without her... Here we just try to be with her hahahaa

 

- RULE NUMBER 1. We are NOT FRIENDS. we go out AS friends. but we are NOT FRIENDS. Tell her... in a funny smiley way "of course as friends allthough i cant stop thinking biting your ..." and Laugh your eyes out . It will be a joke... but in her mind... after hours / days / months it WILL STILL be there... "He still likes my ..." (plus you avoid the ONLY FRIENDS FRIENDS thing) You are a man!

 

- RULE NUMBER 2. Read everything again and again and make a list and tick them and practice on them

 

- RULE NUMBER 3. You Simply have nothing to lose. Only to gain. You lost her loooong time ago... so the only thing that can possibly happen... is either nothing or something. so ACT like you have nothing to lose (of course in normal boundries)

 

- RULE NUMBER 4. If I ever get in your place you buy me a beer. (and dont think i ll order the cheap one!!! ahahahahah