ridinbikes247 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 I have almost been married 5 years, together for 7. We are both 26, and we have a 4 year old son together. I posted a few days ago under "separation and divorce" about my story. Long story short, my wife is choosing her friends over me and is very disrespectful. Ever since I left she has not cared at all. She makes me feel very guilty for leaving her and our son, saying im immature and childish because I want let her hang out with her friends. I chose to leave 5 weeks ago, and moved in with my parents. I miss her greatly, but do not want to get back with her. I still call her almost everyday just to say hey and tell her I miss and love her. She just says "love you too but im busy", and will hang up. I dont understand why I miss her and call her dailey when she has been so disrespectful to me. I truly do not want her back, and I wish i could stop calling her.....I wish i was stronger - Some disrespectful things she has done in the past few months - Valentines dinner with her "girlfriends" - Facebook is nothing but her and her friends - she use to post on my wall, but hasnt in 3 months. - She joked about divorce a few months ago - Asking if she left me, how much I would pay her for child support - everytime I iniate a kiss, say I love you, or be affectionate. She acts disgusted by me and as if she forces her self to say and do them things. - past 2 months, I would call and text her and she just does short yes and no reply's . a few times she want answer and I find out she was talking to her girls during the same time. Alot bring up cheating, but I EVERYTHING she does she puts on facebook. she is just stuck up her friends butts right now and I'm last on her list..... Why do i miss that ?!?! AAAHHHHHHHHHH
Author ridinbikes247 Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 A few other things - She posted Happy valentines on all her friends wall, except mine. - for 4 friday nights in a row, she takes our little boy to her friends house for girl time. Her friends also have little boys 5 and 6.... She would stay over there until midnight . - My car broke down - $1500 to replace transmission. I asked her to pay the $20 on internet and she said "no, i cant I have bills to" then she goes get her hair done - $75.00 and goes eat with her friend's that same weekend which was probably $30ish Alot bring up cheating, but she is with her friends, and my son is with her 90% of the time. I have called a few times just to verify. She is just stuck up her friends butts right now and I'm last on her list..... Why do i miss that ?!?! AAAHHHHHHHHHH These are just small things to some, but it all adds up.
Mr Scorpio Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Yes, I think it is possible to miss someone but not want to be with them. I don't think that you miss her actions, you miss her. I can only assume that, at some point she treated you well, and that is what you are missing? Either that, or she is rude but possibly gorgeous? Otherwise, I'm not sure.
nick d Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 This is DEFINATELY a case of G.I.G.S.! I am going through the same thing! Just do your best not to initiate contact with her. As it is only stroking her ego even more!
Author ridinbikes247 Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 Whats is the case of the G.I.G.S ? And yes, she did treat me well for the first 3.5 years or so. . And its very hard to not contact her. I see her every Wed. and Friday to get my son. I just want to hug and kiss her but my heart tells me no because she has hurt me way to many times and shows no remorse for hurting me. she has became heartless this last year. very selfish
Author ridinbikes247 Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 My wifes birthday is Wed. We have been split for 5 weeks now.... she called this morning to say she took a week of vacation because shes going out with her friends for her birthday !!!!. I get my kid ALL week while she is gone. I asked her where she was going or doing and she told me "not to worry about where they're going because we arent together so she can do what ever she wants!!" I hate her so bad when she talks to me like that. This is the very reason I do not want her back, But why does she have to be such a bi*ch !!!! Tears my heart up and makes me want to call her and check on her. Any pointers on what I can do ?
gibson Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 This is G.I.G.S. for sure. If you care to know more... I suggest you read through the following threads. "The Grass Is Greener" Syndrome Dumped by someone with G.I.G.S.? All your Questions are Answered within this thread!
coltsfan1 Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 I love and miss someone EVERYDAY. But I don't want the person back, chances are neither of us are the person we where.
Chiyo Posted March 12, 2012 Posted March 12, 2012 Yes, you absolutely can love someone and not want them back. You are still in love with her. Some rational part of you is reacting to how she is treating you, to the emotional neglect and disrespect. That doesn't mean you aren't still emotionally connected to her or that you don't still love her. Love is hard like that. It will take time, a lot of time, but it will get better. You will continue to see how disrespectful she is, and all of the negative aspects that made you leave, and the newness will wear off. My ex and I were together for a relatively short time in comparison - only 8 months or so. During that time I did love him, but there was tons of emotional abuse, and eventually I found out about him cheating the entire time. After we broke up, I still missed him. I missed him for a year. Luckily he had moved out of state, so I never ran into him, but I thought about him way more than I cared to, all of the good and tons of the bad things. I hated myself for thinking of him so much. Thinking about him just brought all of the pain and hurt and anger back, but for some reason I couldn't get it out of my brain, I missed him. I missed talking to him, I missed him being in my life. Even when most of what I could think of were all really bad things, and I couldn't get far enough away from him. It's been a couple of years now, and those feelings of missing him are long gone. I'm not saying its the same as a 7 year, loving relationship with children, but it did get better, and I'm so glad to be out of that relationship.
Recommended Posts