eric2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Hi Guys, I split up with my girlfriend of 2 and a half years about a month ago. We've been through alot and we were extremely close. She was pretty much part of our family and stayed with me most nights. She was rather distant from her family with her parents splitting up whilst she was young so she really loved being close to our family. It got to a point however, where we were constantly arguing over ridiculous things and it was getting rather stale and repetitive, she also developed a really bad selfish attitude. So I decided to end it basically to give myself some space to clear my mind and think about what I wanted. I never planned for it to be a long term thing however I didnt tell her that as I knew she would never agree to a 'break'. For the first 2 weeks she took it terribly. She had been ripped away from our family and I really distanced myself from her in order to give myself some space. She was an emotional wreck and truely heartbroken which is completely understandable. Within the two weeks I began to realise how much I loved her and what she actually meant to me. I realised what I needed to do to make her happy and get the spark back in our relationship. After 3 weeks, I decided to confess to her my feelings in an attempt to make things right. This was when she basically blew me out by saying things such as 'You've realised too late, you should have never finished it and im completely over you'. She said there was no chance of her getting back with me anytime soon and I dont deserve to be with her after the way ive treated her. Obviously this was a huge blow to me and I knew I should have dealt with the situation much better. However, she does have a seige mentality when things arent going her way, she will literally cut off her nose to spite her face. She often does things out of spite. But had she really got over me in such a short space of time? The more I dwelled on what had happened the more I began to fell in a slump of really bad emotional depression. My actions were replaying on my mind and couldnt spend a second of the day not thinking about her. I was really really heartbroken and my head was/still is a mess. I started to come across needy in desperation. I love this girl to bits and would do anything to get back with her and make things right. However, she began to ignore me and acting like a complete bitch towards me. Thats when I found out she has a potential new guy on the case. Some guy she'd not long met after we'd broken up at her new job. I also knew she'd gone off the rails a bit, missing college, not turning in for work etc. I know she still has feelings for me and she still loves me, she develops a state of mind to block out these feelings for me though and im wondering, is this guy a rebound or is it for real? Could she have got over me that quickly (especially having known how much she thought of me). So I have the dilemma, do I completely give up on her after such a stupid mistake and admit defeat and the fact that I ****ed it up and remain heartbroken for a long time! or, Do I follow my heart and never give up on her! If so, do I stop texting her, stop paying her attention,? Help? After to speaking to a member of her family, I was advised she was really devestated after the break up and that she really loved me, surely she cannot stop loving me so soon? They also advised me that if I honestly love her that much then I should never give up! What do you guys suggest? Thanks so much!
stimson554 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 You came at her with a hard left, lost your balance, and she saw and opportuniy to come back at you with a hard right. best thing you can do is avoid all communication with her and live your own life, the most crushing blow to someone is seeing that other person completely happy without them in their lives.
Author eric2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 You came at her with a hard left, lost your balance, and she saw and opportuniy to come back at you with a hard right. best thing you can do is avoid all communication with her and live your own life, the most crushing blow to someone is seeing that other person completely happy without them in their lives. You think this will encourage her to want me back? Or just push her the complete other way? Will she not look at it and think, well, at least he's finally moved on and stopped pestering me? It's actually devastating knowing that i had her merely 4 weeks ago, and now it seems a million miles away, I don't regret the break up as I've really learned alot about myself and realised what she means to me, but I potentially regret the timing of trying to get her back which now appears to leave me slightly doomed!
Chi townD Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Dude, you cut her to the core. What did you expect? As far as she was concerned thing were okay between the two of you and then you pulled the trigger. Not only did she lose you, she lost a place in your family where she felt accepted, welcomed and safe. You asked for space...well, now you're getting it at the request of her. Sorry, but I think you may have blown your chance with her. I know this isn't what you want to hear but chalk it up to lessons learned. NOW, you've learned a valuable lesson on what communication means in a relationship. If you have doubts or fears about what's going on, you need to commincate that to your partner and try to find a happy median or part ways, but at least the other person isn't blind-sided. 1
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