Caveman Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 is it possible to totally lose the drive to go on after a breakup? I've lost 18 pounds of muscle asince 4/20/04, hardly worked (11 hours in last 7 days) and sleep a few hours a night....seeing 2 shrinks and on 2 meds...not helping much...not getting better...
UCFKevin Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Yup. Happens all the time. There will soon be a light at the end of the tunnel. However far off it may seem, at least it's there and you know it's there and know you'll reach it soon enough.
Author Caveman Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 if it lasts much longer ill have to check into a hospital...and lose my job and what little $ i have left
UCFKevin Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Then check yourself into a hospital. Do what you need to do. Don't let this get the better of you.
WomenAreNuts Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Bro..you need to ease up and not take things so hard. Of course you're hurt, i just broke up with my ex about two months ago and it still sucks when i think about her. But come on man, you can't tell me that some chick is going to dictate your fate. That's ridiculous. It's normal to think about the situation and become sad but you have to draw the line somewhere otherwise it's extremely unhealthy. A "mourning" period is fine, but prolonged depression and body neglect can have a totally adverse affect on you. I know it's hard, i'm going through the motions too, but think about the good things in life. You're healthy? You're young? Dude you've got your whole life ahead of you.....just relax....love yourself more than you love her. Good luck homeslice.
pitprincess Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Many people go through that. I have been down and depressed before and did the same thing. GET A NEW LIFE :) LIVE FOR TODAY!!!!! Get up and outside, find friends, go to new places and see new things that you haven't seen before Life is to short for us to spend it in depression Open up the window because better things are flying your way :):) Have a wonderful day today Say a little prayer and put one foot in front of the other :):)
pitprincess Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Smack your self on the hinny Tell you self your not going to loose it and if you are its darn sure not going to be today Your going to get up and go find the gym and add back some of them packs you unloaded over the past few weeks While your there find a tanning bed, heck get in it nakked! lol Come on.... Take you a shower and start today a new day! :):)
Author Caveman Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 going to hospital this am to get a psych evaluation...today is probably not the day i lose it totally...that will be july 15th...what would have been 4 years...
pitprincess Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Sweety your going to be fine You go to the hospital and talk to someone there You could use someone that you can talk to face to face about this. I understand your hurting but we all have a life full of love left and God gives us that everyday. He never said we wouldn't have hard times but he does live in us and believes in us. Just like I believe in you I believe that today your makeing a new step in your life :) You already are :) Make sure you post when you come back home, someone out here wants you to know ( I care) God Bless You and Try and have a better day.. :)
Author Caveman Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 I asked her last week we're never getting back together, right? She said "I don't know" I said, but you've thrown out my toothbrush, right? She said, "no" Having a very difficult time understanding everything...she says that we're not together anymore but she lies awake at night wondering if she is making the biggest mistake of her life...she fears that in 6 months she will want me backand i will be in love with another and that she will have lost me forever... In Nov 2002, she broke up with me for 4 months...then one day called and asked me to come over and we were back together... She almost never takes my calls or returns them... This is consuming me...literally
mendingmyheart04 Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Just remember that....most of us have gone through break ups and you WILL get through this.
sweetie7 Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Even if you feel like you're gonna lose it-PRETEND TO BE STRONG. I'm pretty sure she won't take you back if you are so weak and desperate. When she sees that you're going to be okay without her and that you have plans to move on and be happy, that's when she'll be able to think straight. You don't want her to take you back out of pity. She needs to realize what her life is going to be like without you in it and that you don't NEED her, you just WANT her, and since she's telling you you can't have her, you're gonna find someone who does.
sally1530 Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Ive have been broken up with my ex-finace for 6 weeks now. Lost 10 pounds, couldnt sleep much , or get him off my mind, but over time things get better, really! You need to keep busy, not think about fixing things and concentrate on fixing yourself and being happy with yourself. Then you will look attractive to anyone! I have moved on with my life and it has been the hardest thing Ive ever had to do, walk away from the person I thought I loved , he was a cheat and a lier. I need to focus on my needs now and I know someday I will love again. You have to believe that. Take it day by day, get out and enjoy life its way too short to waste it on feeling depressed.
Author Caveman Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 I'mjust not strong enough to do anything...eating and showering are a chore...I'm gunna get worse before I get better...that terrifies me...
vhshowdown Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Caveman, Hang in there man. I was there at the beginning of March. I couldnt eat, sleep, drinking too much. So I quit drinking and it was like double the pain..... Went to the doc and he wanted me to go on prozac, which i really didnt want to, so i didnt. It took me a little over a month with NO CONTACT to feel like I was getting better. I had to count on my friends, who were great, started posting in here, and tried to get myself better. I also started putting all my feelings and angers for her down on paper, now looking back at it, I cant beleive how far I have come. A real good friend of mine told me awhile back, when I start thinking about her and your heart starts to hurt, rub your hand over your heart. When you get thoughts about her, snap your fingers to clear your thoughts... Do your best to eat, I know food has no taste when you are feeling like this, but you gotta eat..... Get the depression over one day at a time, it will get better, it does... Start doing the things that make YOU happy!!
Author Caveman Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 Seeing my therapis in 45 mins...only helps while im in the office...as soon as i open the door to leave, the demons swarm over me again... Soon I will have blown my career and have no money....very soon.
b18bme Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Dude seriously come on. My girl just broke up with me and I have lost 8 pounds in 3 weeks the hard thing about my situation is that she 2 days ago officially said for me to let go of her cuz she is letting go of me. I know I will be better some day right now I am just gonna leave to go to the gym with my friend that I have not talked to in months. Maybe I can start hanging out with the pals. You just need to look yourself in the mirror, and say, I AM ALIVE AND I WILL SURVIVE! Breathing is also a nice way to feel better. If your heart hurts feel your chest with air. Whatever part of you hurts feel that part with air and as you breath out act as if you are breathing the pain out. Tell yourself that you love yourself. Talk to yourself it sounds crazy but it does help. Feel your life with things that are alive, a new pet heck even a goldfish. You will get better and you will be happy. You are in control. So take control.
pitprincess Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 Hey there sweets I wasnt on line when you posted back this morning. How did your appointment go? You know most everyone goes through lifes little up's and down's There is a circle of friends surrounding you :):) Talking about it does help :) I am here alot, I am on line most nights I am just a post away You hang in there your going to be fine I do agree with the poster that said as soon as she finds out you will be ok then she will come to find what it is she is looking for There are so many good people in our world today that you never know if the one your future is with is standing in a parking lot, shopping mall. Even the lady next door I have faith in you :) WE ALL DO :):) You should go to work if its nothing but a few hours to show them you are trying You are trying because if you werent you would not be talking to us :) We care Your going to over come this :):)
Author Caveman Posted June 10, 2004 Author Posted June 10, 2004 My apt this morning was a nightmare...went to get a psych evaluation at the hospital...I knew i was in trouble when I saw the doc...65-70 year old guy...I'm 34, hair 3/4 to waist, 9 earrings...I knew this guy wouldn't get me... he argues with me about everything during the session...when i tell him that i dont know how much longer i can take it, he says "do you want electro-shock-therapy"? I was like the stuff from 1 flew over the coocoos nest...no thanks... Then when session is over i go to the office and say that there is no way i can continue with him, we just dont get each other...the rule is to change docs, you have to tell the doc you want to change to his face...ironicaly he walks into room a minute later...the lady says, "Caveman isn't happy with you as a..." he interupts and says "of course he isn't, he isn't happy with anything, everything that is wrong with his life is his own fault" I wanted to knock him on his ass, but i just stared blankly at him...the staff was speechless. what a great mornning...makes ya want to tackle a train..
amerikajin Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 Soon I will have blown my career and have no money....very soon. This is a risky post, but I'm just going to tell it like I see it. Caveman, get a new doctor. Just remember, you can't get a new life. Don't waste it on some chick. Most of us have been down in the dumps. I know I have. I basically wasted a career on a romance I believed in, only to watch both my career and my relationship go down the toilet (it's a long story). I went from speaking at national conferences, staying at nice resort hotels, a nice car, a promising career and a beautiful fiancee to living at home with mom for eight months. No job. No girl. Nothing but my own misery, and lots of time to wallow in it. I did the exact opposite: I gained about 25 pounds. I had never been so out of shape in my life. Now things are different. I'm back. I'm dating. I'm living an entirely new lifestyle. I'm living in an entirely new country, even. I'm traveling the world. I'm doing things I'd never have been able to do before. Where one door closes, others open. This can happen to you, too. Although your doctor has a s***ty bedside manner and obviously doesn't relate well to some patients, he has a point: everything in your life is your fault - at least to some extent. I think what he meant to say was that everything in your life is something that you have some degree of control over. You're not taking control of your life right now, and he was trying to tell you that there's no way you can get better unless you decide it's time to take control of your life. No amount of medicine or counseling is going to help unless you actually decide that you want to get better. Simply shrugging your shoulders and saying "I'm f_cked" isn't an option. If you want to end your life, you can do it; if you want to change your life, you can do that, too. The choice is yours. In my case, and in the case of everyone else here, we've chosen to take the tougher, but more rewarding path of continuing our lives. We have chosen to come here to support each other in our time of great need. We have chosen to seek answers about our past, about our relationships, about ourselves. We have come here to remind each other that there is a tomorrow, and even a day after tomorrow, and that each day can challenging - at times frightening - but also, rewarding. The choice is yours. We've chosen to move on. Are you with us? I hope so. Keep your chin up. Keep on moving.
pitprincess Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 Originally posted by Caveman My apt this morning was a nightmare...went to get a psych evaluation at the hospital...I knew i was in trouble when I saw the doc...65-70 year old guy...I'm 34, hair 3/4 to waist, 9 earrings...I knew this guy wouldn't get me... I KNOW THAT WOULD HAVE HAPPEND TO ME LOLOLOL he argues with me about everything during the session...when i tell him that i dont know how much longer i can take it, he says "do you want electro-shock-therapy"? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME... OH MY... i THINK I WOULD HAD TO SAY YOU WANT A SOCKET STUCK UP YOUR... never mind.. I was like the stuff from 1 flew over the coocoos nest...no thanks... Then when session is over i go to the office and say that there is no way i can continue with him, we just dont get each other... I agree 199% the rule is to change docs, you have to tell the doc you want to change to his face...ironicaly he walks into room a minute later...the lady says, "Caveman isn't happy with you as a..." he interupts and says "of course he isn't, he isn't happy with anything, everything that is wrong with his life is his own fault" Did you tell him and you placed it in his hands now its his fault? I wanted to knock him on his ass, but i just stared blankly at him...the staff was speechless. what a great mornning...makes ya want to tackle a train.. I bet the staff was speechless... lol I know one thing i have found out in my life.. I find my self asking my self... Are you sure you need a doctor? Sounds like my kind of doctors appointment. Ya find you self going round and round with doctors and they aint got a clue what the hell your talking about but of chorse its all our fault' :) Heck it sounds like you passed the psych evaluation and he didnt pass your test
sinkerswim Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 Hi Caveman... I just wanted to reply to you because I totally feel for you and understand what you are going through. My fiance of 8 years left me on Feb. 3rd.. the first 2 months was pure HELL for me... But I immediatly went to see a pyschiatrist and therapist. I am on 3 strong medications, and seeing my therapist every 2 weeks. I am in NO WAY over the love of my life and I still cling onto hope that he will be back someday. But, I do feel better being on this medication. Im able to get out now and not miss work anymore and actually eat something. In the beginning I felt suicidal, didnt eat at all, didnt work, cried all day... all that has eased up. I will not lie though..I still am very scared and I do cry about every other day still. I feel like I will never get over the fact I never got closure or a goodbye from him. He meant the world to me and now he is gone. So..I truly understand and sympathize with you. I hope everything turns out good for you. HANG IN THERE...YOU SOUND LIKE A GREAT GUY! SHE WILL SEE WHAT SHE IS MISSING SOMEDAY! Let us know what happens.
Kate Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 Caveman, Check it out...first please read the other replies on here...including mine...I feel you...totally... Last week I thought I was going to die -- I scared my friends by telling them I couldn't go on, I missed work a day, etc...but guess what? Had this happened 2 years ago, I would definitely have let it get the better of me: had I not had some really awakening and severe experiences in the last year, I would have thought this was the worst thing on earth...and I know you reach a point where you just don't care, but I promise you THIS : being broke, jobless and homeless are not fun. Grow up and think about the fact that once those things happen you can't turn back. I know you are totally feeling sorry for yourself, etc. I was THERE. Thoght I lost the best man on the PLANET. Write down a list of things you don' like about her. Then write a list of things you like about yourself. Read it over and over and over. Listen man, humans are so stupid. One day you will wake up and wonder what superpowers you thought she had. She is a HUMAN, not a God. I KNOW how you feel but you need to buck up here. I HATED it when people told me that!! What do you want to know here? What would make you feel more peace of mind? Please tell us so we can write about it. If you are desperate, stay on this website and you will feel better. Talk to someone you respect deeply and who loves you. I called my dad last week after I got broken up with and sobbed and said I needed a shrink and I was so "f-ed up in the head" etc. and he got ANGRY with me. He made me feel like the most immature, rediculous person. Talk to someone who will make you feel like that so you can channel your weepiness into real anger. Anger motivates. Then it dies, you have a piece of yourself back, and the other person actually respects. you. update us.
Author Caveman Posted June 10, 2004 Author Posted June 10, 2004 4pm today...NERVOUS BREAKDOWN. Total meltdown, sobbing, wailing, screaming, punching walls, punching anything...lasted 44mins...absolutely scary... exhausted now...what a pussy.
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