heatherfeather Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Well after him treating me horrible and me thinking I wasn't doing enough for him with cooking, cleaning, helping him take care of his son...He says to me that "he loves me but not sure if he is in love with me." Is this salvagable? I am heart broken as I have put alot into this relationship. We were fighting a bit only because he was doing things that were inexcuseable like, not answering my calls when I was watching his son, not appreciating me doing things for him. I am currently doing NC, but we still have each other's stuff. I really want to get the Ebook by TW Jackson, "The magic of making up" anyone have a copy of this? His youtube video's calm my mind and don't make me feel sick to my stomach anymore.
CaliBabe Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Salvageable? Thats up to you. Are you willing to be with someone who does not value you the way you deserve? Are you willing to be taken for granted? There are so many good men out there looking for a good woman such as yourself. Don't settle for a man that does not see you as the queen that you are. Walk away, heal and find a new KING! 2
Author heatherfeather Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 Easier said then done. The NC is hard enough on me, I think I already lost 10 pounds this week.
CaliBabe Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 It definitely is easier said than done, but it can be done.
Author heatherfeather Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 I really would like to work it out though. I am not one to just up and quit without going through everything possible. So what are my options or do I not have any. He also said he needed time to just be with his son. Is this is defense or does this mean he actually does not care for me anymore. So confused to all of this.
LogicallyIllogical Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 If he said that he needs "time", regardless of what he needs time for, he's either made up his mind or isn't sure what he wants. You pretty much have two options: 1. Fight for him and try to convince him you love him and don't want to lose him and think it can work, which will probably just stroke his ego and give him confidence that you'll be around if he changes his mind. 2. Go no contact. Let go and see if he returns to you. Don't sell yourself short and give away your dignity by begging and pleading. Remember that you are worth just as much as he is, and if he decides that he wants to be with you after letting you go, it's on him to win you back. Never be a doormat, no matter how much you love them. If they don't return or want the love you're trying to give, they're not worthy of your love to begin with. 2
rAFC Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I really would like to work it out though. I am not one to just up and quit without going through everything possible. So what are my options or do I not have any. He also said he needed time to just be with his son. Is this is defense or does this mean he actually does not care for me anymore. So confused to all of this. Apparently though, he is the type to "just up and quit". Your only option is to continue with no contact. Give him all the space in the world. There really is nothing you can do to convince him to come back to you, he needs to figure this out on his own. At this point, any actions from you towards him can only result in pushing him further away. We all know that no contact, and letting someone go, is extremely difficult. We have all been through it, or are going through it now, so believe me we know your pain. It does get better with time, so take each day as they come. 3
mike588 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Salvageable? Thats up to you. Are you willing to be with someone who does not value you the way you deserve? Are you willing to be taken for granted? There are so many good men out there looking for a good woman such as yourself. Don't settle for a man that does not see you as the queen that you are. Walk away, heal and find a new KING! I so AGREE!!
mike588 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 I really would like to work it out though. I am not one to just up and quit without going through everything possible. So what are my options or do I not have any. He also said he needed time to just be with his son. Is this is defense or does this mean he actually does not care for me anymore. So confused to all of this. I'm sure he "cares" about you but........ Most of the time when someone says..I need time...I need space there usually is someone else involved. So YOU were helping take care of his son? Why now does he need time to take care of his son? Sorry
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 I really would like to work it out though. I am not one to just up and quit without going through everything possible. So what are my options or do I not have any. He also said he needed time to just be with his son. Is this is defense or does this mean he actually does not care for me anymore. So confused to all of this. why the hell should you have to fight when he is supposed to be yours anyway? He treats you like crap; throw that fish back. Fight? seriously? You deserve way better. What exactly is he going to do while you are doing all the fighting to salvage? 1
Author heatherfeather Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 I hole heartly agree with all you are saying. I know I deserve to be treated better which is what all the fighting was for in the first place. I was standing up for myself and telling him what I needed from him. It was almost the more I stated what I wanted, the less I got. I asked him if there was anyone else and he said no. He just started a new civilian job (he was a drill sgt in the army/ I am in law enforcement) so maybe it was too much for him to handle, new job, fighting and taking care of his son that he has full time. Maybe our alpha type personalities got the better of us? He absolutly hated it when I wouldn't do things his way. At the end of the day though, there were two people that were at one time totally in love with one another. Yes we got together for a reason. Just not sure what the hell I did wrong when I tried to help him out in any shape or form I could.
freetolove Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Please let him go and save your dignity. You will be second guessing yourself for the rest of your relationship even if you do get back together. DONT live a life for someone else. Live a life for YOU. There will be other men out there. Hang in there. 1
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