bluewolf17 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Just a update, I have been NC 10 days now. Wenesday was his birthday, and I didn't call at all. I doubt he would have noticed. But late last night I got the text "Well hi there.." and I just ingored it. Today I saw on Facebook that he liked a comment I had made on someone elses page (we are not FB friends but have one or two mutual friends on FB). So I guess he noticed my absense, and that makes me a little happy. But it also pisses me off. His stupid cutsy text is an insult. I will keep up with NC and see how he likes being rejected.
marqueemoon4 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Exes notice when your NC when they don't have anyone else and maybe aren't completely over you. Exes that have moved on and found someone "better" in their eyes don't notice NC. They don't care usually.
Kamila Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 An ex contacting you because you're going no contact isn't out-of-the-ordinary if the ex is lonely. Usually, it means you're not out of your ex's system and that person needs to maintain some kind of link to you by random stupid texting. As soon as the post break-up pain subsides and someone else is on their radar, they'll forget about you. Why try and glue back the pieces of a broken vase (the broken relationship) if you can have a brand new relationship with someone new ? Less maintenance and double fun ...
Author bluewolf17 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 I really can't tell you if that's true or not.. All I can say is that even when I have been the the dumper and was 100% sure of wanting to be broke up (and even when it's a very short term relationship) I did notice NC from the dumpee, and I sometimes cared.. but not that much I guess.
NopeNah Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I really can't tell you if that's true or not.. All I can say is that even when I have been the the dumper and was 100% sure of wanting to be broke up (and even when it's a very short term relationship) I did notice NC from the dumpee, and I sometimes cared.. but not that much I guess. I'm the exact opposite..when i do the breaking up I don't want to hear from you again. If I still wanted that person in my life they'd be there. Aside from friends gf's/wives I don't keep female friends. 1
rootless Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) In my experience, whether they contact you or not is kind of irrelevant. It's the sincerity and depth of that contact that counts. If the efforts are superficial and insignificant, chances are good that their motives follow suit, even if they're relatively positive. Unless they're utterly emotionally crippled, a person who loves you-- really loves you --won't be ambiguous about it. They may not ring church-bells and wear a sandwich board advertising it, but they'll make it totally evident they want you back. They'll say so, emphatically. And if they don't -- well, then you need to ask yourself, do you really want to be involved with someone who's unwilling, or unable to risk vulnerability and communicate honestly with you? I'm a year out of my break up, and this kind of thing still deeply effects me periodically, despite a lot of genuine effort and positive advancements. If your heart plays them a symphony, don't settle for a dog whistle. I know how thoroughly confusing and painful this stuff can be. Just be real careful with your heart, please. Edited March 9, 2012 by rootless 2
Kamila Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Yes, rootless, I also thought about this. Why just make low risk little attempts at contact for reconciliation ? A person who really loves you will try to make a bigger effort. It seems like they're saying with a little attempt: "Look, I'm doing something, now you make the effort, and if you don't want to make the effort for ME, then I'm outta here. " Or what's with the pity ultimatum text ? "I understand if you won't contact me again, so I'll leave you alone..." Are they trying to get us to feel sorry for them ? And also do they want us to say in our heads 'oh noes, he won't contact me again, he's gone for good !" I hate mindgames, If you've got something to say, say it ! :mad:
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