Hol Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 My fiance left 2 months ago claiming I spoke to him like sh*t. We lived together for a month after and we were getting better, until my mum got involved and he ended up confiding in another women but nothing happened between them. He then left and now lives in his mum and dads. He now doesnt speak to this woman and has not bin with anyone else since we broke up. At first it was funny between us, but as time has gone by he has been flirting with me, holding my hand and cuddling. We mess around when he comes down to see our daughter, but he asks a lot if I have been with anyone else and if Im interested, which I always tell him Im not. And he continually tells me hes not with anyone. The last two times he has been he has ended up kissing me, and yesterday he asked me what I missed about the relationship. He also keeps asking me if I have anything to ask him or say to him. He also tells me his family ask about me, and that he is still in love with me. I love him so much, and miss him like mad. I dont know what to do. Idont want to scare him off by chasing him, but I dont know what to make of all these things? i dont want to get my hopes up for nothing.
CaliBabe Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Whatever you do, take it slow. By taking it slow, you'll be able to gauge whether you want to be with one another again, or if its for comfort. Taking is slow won't hurt. Communication is key. 1
Author Hol Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 How do you know you won't speak to him like ***** if he did come back?? I dont, but I can only try. And I now realise I was taking him for granted and I can definatly change that
Mack05 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) Hol, I am going to give you a guys prespective. Well actually I'm not. Going to give you my prespective and hopes it helps you.. I have been talking to alot of friends who are girls lately. Trying to learn from my mistakes and also try to understand the female pysche better. I mean I am 37 and single, so clearly I am doing something wrong. The more I can understand and learn the better..From these conversations the three things I am going fo focus on going forward when it comes to making a woman happy are... 1) To have an ability to calm her down. I have heard this alot from girls I have been talking to.."He has an ability to calm me down". Lately, I have seem to have the opposite effect. 2) "To have man I trust implicity..." 3) To be a good guy ALL the time. Not just some of the time...Again the past few years, I have been a "some of the time" kind of guy.. Ok how this help you. Well it doesn't...I'm going to give you three things to focus on if he comes back (as I said above from my prespective)..Not all guys won't agree. Hopefully you will take something out of it. 1) Don't dis-respect him. That means don't talk down to him. The male ego is fragile (no matter how much self belief he has in himself). The most outgoing confident guy in the world, can be ripped apart by a woman he loves. Because her opinion (outside friends and family) is the one that truly matters. He has opened up his soul and the person he loves the most in the world insults him and puts him down regulary -> This drives a man away VERY fast. Yes we want strong, indepedent confident women. A woman that appreciates what we do for them. If they don't have genuinely kind hearts and admire us, then we are not going to want to hang round. From my experience cynical, bitchy, nasty girls drain you in everyway, mentally, emotionally even physically...In general (unless the guy has no self worth) no man wants to be in a relationship with a girl like this. 2) Let him be him. Let him breath. If you nag him constantly you will drive him away. If you constantly nag him, then you have to ask the question are you really compatible??Two people that belong together it will be smooth. Nagging not required..Putting 100% of the blame on him..?Not required either... 3) If he is the right guy for you and you are sure of this...Put your trust and faith in him. Take a leap. Yes it's scary leaving yourself out there, especially when you have been hurt before but there is nothing worse then a woman who says she loves you and won't truly jump with you. Her actions don't match her words basically and there is are always excuses and blame apportioned onto him.. Hope this helps...Agree with CaliB about about communication being key.. Edited March 9, 2012 by Mack05
Author Hol Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 Thanks for the advice, Im trying to give the space he needs and I have been taking things less seriously if that makes sense. If he now makes a joke, I can take it and not be offended. I will try and thinkof something that will show him how much I love him, Ive never really thought about that tbh, So thanks a lot
Author Hol Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 Now hes telling he hasnt been able to sleep properly since he left!
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