mordor Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) I am a 25 year old male and I have been seeing a 26 year old woman for about 3 months now. We were slight friends in grad school, but our friendship grew over the last year, and has culminated in what is now a dating relationship. This includes spending every weekend together, dates, dinners, concerts. However, she is not my girlfriend. We've never spoken on the subject. We see each other nearly every day, and it always ends in very deep and passionate kissing, and 75% of the time she will stay over or vice-versa. She is a virgin until marriage, so we do not have sex, but we engage in oral sex, though not every time. Last night she said something I found to be odd: "you know we have to be friends for life, right?" Then we made out and had oral sex. This strike anyone else as a weird thing to say considering the circumstances? Edited March 9, 2012 by mordor Title not clear enough.
Diamonds&Rust Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Is she morally opposed to sex before marriage or is there another reason?
carhill Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 So, her sucking your penis and you licking her labia, clitoris and inserting your tongue into her vagina isn't sex....hmm Why not clarify things with some communication? It appears, though the brevity of the OP may impel some presumption, that both of you are dancing around the subjects of commitment and exclusivity and no one appears to want to be clear about matters. What do you choose to do today?
2sunny Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Technically - she is engaging in sex - although just not by penetration by your penis. It's a technicality... Designed to keep her delusional about "not having sex" - if that works for you then ok. She may be better off if she gets honest with herself though. Her technicalities are justifying her actions - by creating this illusion that she's not having sex. Do you know if she intends to marry you?
2sunny Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 I have platonic female friends. Not very many, and I am not attracted to them. I know a girl who tells her long-distance boyfriend she has a male "friend" who she hangs out with occasionally. Truth is, she's hooking up with this "friend" when they "hang out." The "friend" is me. Is this the same gal? Does your gal have a long distance boyfriend?
SmileFace Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 "you know we have to be friends for life, right?" My sir, you may have just been pre-dumped. Oh yea, oral SEX is sex.
Author mordor Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 Is this the same gal? Does your gal have a long distance boyfriend? Yes. She says she's breaking up with him, but doesn't have the guts to do it slowly, so she taking the slow long slog. I have heard them fight over breaking up, with him pushing for her to reconsider, since they do this over skype. Honestly, I don't really care if she breaks up with him or not. Weird situation, eh? Pre-dumped? Hmm. I am curious. She's recently said she's reconsidered her no-sex-before-marriage stance, but wants us to "take our time." Also, I agree about the oral sex actually being sex. I'm not really interested in trying in having a conversation where I try to logic-bomb her into OK'ing something she's not ready for.
2sunny Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 Sounds like you don't really care that much for her - you just intend to have sex with her... Whether she committed to someone else or not. And since she's willing to change her moral compass - she has no foundation...but you already had evidence of that since she's a cheater and a cake eater.
Forever Learning Posted March 18, 2012 Posted March 18, 2012 This is an interesting thread. Never heard the term 'pre-dumped' before, but I think it could be the case here. Or maybe not. Keep us posted on how this all pans out!
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