Tybalt Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 What do you think of the attachment styles theory? The idea that people go into romantic relationships with a certain "way of relating" and with different needs. I.e. some people are secure and desire close emotional intimacy and expect the positive. Some are secure, but dismissive and avoidant, wanting less closeness. Still others are anxious and desire a lot of reassurance and intimacy and are insecure, and others are fearful and insecure and avoid closeness for that reason. I realize that in my never ending quest to understand things within frameworks and terms, I'm running the risk of slapping another easy "label" on behavior or situations I find hurtful in dating. However, sometimes when I explore these theories and models it helps me to reconcile behavior in others I do not understand. From that standpoint, I think it's a good thing to open myself to the perspectives of others, rather than judging from my own paradigms as if they are universal. It helps me to accept the situation, and be more accepting and nonjudgmental of my ex when I conside the possibility his attachment style is/was simply less intimate than mine. Or maybe I should just take the blow without softening it that he just wasn't that into me, despite saying he was exclusive and using a bf/gf "label."
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