ms_life Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 I'm new to this, but here goes. My husband and I dated 5 years before we married. during the first 2 years of dating he cheated and this other female became pregnant. I think I was naive and thought that I could deal with the situation. I did deal but a lot of things happened that was very difficult for me such as: during the pregnancy the mother would call my boyfriend at the time constantly. I felt that she should because no one should have to go through a pregnancy alone like I had. I have a 16 year old son. He tried to be there for her. Which in a way, that is how it is suppose to be. All those things were hard for me, but I was trying to do the right thing. He even went to lamaz with her and was in the delivery room when his son was born. I thought that as time went on things would improve after his son was born. I think I was wrong. My husband, boyfriend at the time, moved in with me about 1 or 2 years after the birth of his son. After he moved in I found a video of his son's mother and him having oral sex. We argued and he cried about how sorry he was. I promised to get revenge but we continued on. 2 years after that we got married. I thought that when a person ask you to marry that meant they were ready to settle down and move on to a rewarding life. Well we've continued to have the baby momma drama and my husband has visitation rights but because she puts up a big fuss, doesn't exercise them. When he gets with his son that is now 7 years he forgets everything and everybody. He coaches little league ball games and is forever getting home late 10 -11 oclock at night . His son lives about 15-20 miles from us. We just built a new home, which really seems like a mistake. My husband tends to get upset with me for not attending his c-ball games. But I have to get my son who just turned 16 to his basketball games and practices. My son playing basketball 9-10 months out of the year. He just got to a point where he can drive, but he hasn't gotten his real license yet. Since my husband is gone all the time I figure he doesn' t want to be here and I'm not so sure if I want him around anymore. We don't talk, we don't touch. It's almost like we are room mates sleeping in the same bed. I think with all the stuff that has happened in the pass I don't think I want him anymore. What should I do?
JustSoRight Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 I guess I need more clarification. Do you think he's cheating or you have just grown a part?
Author ms_life Posted June 11, 2004 Author Posted June 11, 2004 I don't have any indication that he is cheating. His son's mother is the team mom on the little league team. With him spending so much time with the team means that he is also spending time with her. I really don't think that he would cheat with her again, but who knows stuff happens. I think that I have so much anger built up inside due to the fact that I hold anything inside and when I can't take anymore I just explode and now I'm just tired. I don't know if I even want to try anymore. We have little in common, he works 2 jobs and one of them is every weekend. So when am off he's working, when I get home from work he's doing other stuff. It's like he thinks that if he get's home before 10 - 11 o clock at night that everything is ok. I've told him that it is not ok. we don't spend any quality time together. We don't have simple goals that we share. We are just together living in the same house. I'm all talked out with him and now I've just shut down where he is concerned. I try to do my own thing but I'm continuously thinking about my marriage. His way of spending time is for me to come to his games or hang out with him and his friends and I refuse to do that and I know that's not right either. I don't know I'm just so confused.
tiki Posted June 11, 2004 Posted June 11, 2004 Answer honestly, have you cheated on him or thought about it?
Author ms_life Posted June 11, 2004 Author Posted June 11, 2004 Before we were engaged, I had an evening with an acquaintance that actually turned into a friendship. I work with hospice and his mother was dying of cancer and we became close for about six month and when he's mother died he came to me for comfort. A close friendship developed. He is married and I was living with my now husband. That one incident was not like a romance, but it was more like a moment of passion.
Recommended Posts