I,m lost without her

[nathan23]

Hi just want to get some feedback on my situation. My wife of ten years and i have seperated in the last month and a half. We have two great kids 5 & 9, 7 years ago we seperated for twelve months in which time she was seeing another man. The problem then and now is that she gives me a glimmer of hope that we will get back together and them slams the door in my face.

 

She has started talking to a guy on that stupid Facebook and organizing coffee dates three hours away from our town. She knows i love her more than anything and sometimes she even says she loves me to, but i can't seem to get her to make the effort to try again. I'm so scared that i can't get her back and it's killing me.

 

Is there someway to get her back? I can't do this much longer, i don't want to live with out her

[BewitchedandBothered]

Hi just want to get some feedback on my situation. My wife of ten years and i have seperated in the last month and a half. We have two great kids 5 & 9, 7 years ago we seperated for twelve months in which time she was seeing another man. The problem then and now is that she gives me a glimmer of hope that we will get back together and them slams the door in my face.

 

She has started talking to a guy on that stupid Facebook and organizing coffee dates three hours away from our town. She knows i love her more than anything and sometimes she even says she loves me to, but i can't seem to get her to make the effort to try again. I'm so scared that i can't get her back and it's killing me.

 

Is there someway to get her back? I can't do this much longer, i don't want to live with out her

 

Why did you separate, first of all? She probably wants to see if there is 'life' out there, but will quickly and sadly find out that maybe she had it better at home--there are a lot of creepos on Facebook simply looking to hook up but know just what to say to make a lady think he is sincere. She knows you are there and that you love her. She will feel it soon enough. Give her time, don't pressure her or she will become annoyed with you. You do not want that. Keep loving her and being there. if it is true love, she will be back. She has children with you, that's a huge thing.

[nathan23]

We seperated because she had been unhappy with me for a few months. I have reminded her that i have never cheated never laid a finger on her and always loved her. She got a new job and has seemed to change and not for the better (in my eyes). She works all different hours of the day and night. But i can't stand the thought of her being with another man. I don't want her to be with anybody but me.

[tornangel]

U cant change anyones feelings but your own. I was heartbroken recently that my ex of 4 yrs just came back from afghan for 3 wks and completely ignored me other than he asked if I wanted to have sex. I waited on him for six months to be made feeling cheap, hell no. Now dont get me wrong I do still love him ( why is beyond me) and he has hurt me badly. But and this is a huge but, I am worth alot more than that. We initially split because of him accusing me and his insecurities, I am into bodybuilding and he told me to delete my bodybuilding site or we were thru. give me a break. But I did cry and grieve him the last 2 wks. I guess what I am trying to tell you, is sometimes u really have to love urself first. Ur wife cant love u if she knows u dont love urself. Sad but true. U have to love urself first, stick up for urself and that in my opinion, is the only way of winning her back. U need to be a strong man who respects himself and values himself. And if she chooses to move on, you need to love urself even more thru that pain. And realize ( like I did) that she isnt the one for u. I recently told my ex that someday he will be happy I let him go, because he will someday find the love of his life and a woman he wouldnt dream of abandoning , and that woman wasnt me.... That hurt , but it helped me. And grief takes awhile> Just take care of you first....