eskimovm Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Pleas help me here My ex boyfriend of 2 years whom I was living for 1 year with up until the day of our break up which was 3 weeks ago. He had a manic episode and broke up with me in haste saying I never listen. He had been shopping for an engagement ring 2 weeks prior. He does have a history of mania I went strict NC, moved out immediately and up until monday when he texted me saying "can we still be friends" then his mum called me and said he was very upset I hadn't called him because he thought I would have by now. So I did, stupidly on the advice from his mum but he didn't answer so I left a voice message no reply til today about 20 minutes ago (it's friday here) and i let it go to voicemail. the voice message was something of "youre my bestfriend i want to keep in contact with you, you should come over, you know where I live (well duh, i lived there too once) and he ended it with Love you" so, I have to go there tomorrow to get the furniture off with the removalist and he will be there. I don't want to be friends, It's all or nothing, I was going to marry this man.
mississippimom Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Pleas help me here My ex boyfriend of 2 years whom I was living for 1 year with up until the day of our break up which was 3 weeks ago. He had a manic episode and broke up with me in haste saying I never listen. He had been shopping for an engagement ring 2 weeks prior. He does have a history of mania I went strict NC, moved out immediately and up until monday when he texted me saying "can we still be friends" then his mum called me and said he was very upset I hadn't called him because he thought I would have by now. So I did, stupidly on the advice from his mum but he didn't answer so I left a voice message no reply til today about 20 minutes ago (it's friday here) and i let it go to voicemail. the voice message was something of "youre my bestfriend i want to keep in contact with you, you should come over, you know where I live (well duh, i lived there too once) and he ended it with Love you" so, I have to go there tomorrow to get the furniture off with the removalist and he will be there. I don't want to be friends, It's all or nothing, I was going to marry this man. My advice is this, give yourself time to mourn the loss and he needs to do the same. My exbf/ex-fiance did the same thing, "I still want us to be best friends" blah blah..but I am not ready for be friends anytime soon. Only you can judge on how you feel about the "let's be friends" scenario. My exbf kept doing the calls with "I love you" til I just quit saying it basically. Keeping contact for now is going to prolong the healing process for the both of you. Hope this gives you some insight.
Frank13 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Nothing says "I don't love you romantically and I don't want to be with you" more than when they say they want to be friends. When you have feelings for someone, being friends doesn't work. So if your ex wants to be friends, you know they no longer have romantic feelings for you.
Mary-Jane Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Nothing says "I don't love you romantically and I don't want to be with you" more than when they say they want to be friends. When you have feelings for someone, being friends doesn't work. So if your ex wants to be friends, you know they no longer have romantic feelings for you. Not necessarily. In many cases it just means they want to keep you at a distance (for whatever reason) but it doesn't mean they don't love you romantically any more. It may happen if break up was circumstancial, for example. Obviously a case of cold feet before engagement, give it time, OP. You're right not to be friends and make it easier for him. 1
mississippimom Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Nothing says "I don't love you romantically and I don't want to be with you" more than when they say they want to be friends. When you have feelings for someone, being friends doesn't work. So if your ex wants to be friends, you know they no longer have romantic feelings for you. Yeah I would have to agree with you on that. He claimed "I still love you" blah blah blah....I told him he didn't know what love was. The exbf has a new gf now, met her a month ago and is now LIVING with her..so no, that is not love.
Recommended Posts