easyluckyfree Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 So here's the thing, if anybody replies to this, I will honestly be so greatful. For the past 3 weeks i've left confused and slightly heartbroken.. thinking about him hurts, nobody knows what to say anymroe, so i'm going to tell you's the situation and hope somebody can help me in some way. I've known this guy for 2 years. We have a 3 year age gap inbetween us. We started of as very good friends, but we didn't hang out much, but it wasn't until a couple of months ago we decided to hang out. I've always had the biggest crush on this guy but never thought of anything happening, i thought of us just as friends. We hung out twice, then after the after a few drunk nights together we were cuddling and becoming closer, then the next time we where together we would become even closer, to eventually we kissed and started falling for each other, he was so sweet and would give me his jacket when he was cold, the best part was we were really good friends.. Although one night one of his friends warned me to stay away and not fall to hard as once he starts to really like a girl he will freak out and become distand.. he's a really shy guy anyway so i believed this, but i didn't think we would come this far. We met up every weekend in early hours in the morning and sat and cuddled and talked and kissed. We had special moments where we sit forehead to fore head and glare into each others eyes, I felt like i was in love with this guy, and i still do. I can't stop thinking about him and i haven't since the first night we hung out. It wasn't until Valentiens day. We where together at night, sitting laughing, gazing into each others eyes and generally being romantic and a bit cheesy! It is't like him being like this, he's always so shy and keeps to himself, It was sweet. Everytime he smiled and kissed me on the cheek and felt my hair, i felt my stomach drop, i felt the butterflies, and I know that he was feeling the same as me.. it started to become later and it was time for him to go, so we kissed and and cuddled and then he left.. He text me as he was walking away and we where just having a general conversation.. until all of a sudden he stopped replying, i just assumed he was sleeping so left it, a few days later i still hadn't heard from him.. he's always been slow at replying to text anyway because he always looses his phone! anyway, as i was saying, I still hadn't heard from him so i was totally confused.. but i just left it.. 2 weeks after not hearing from him i text him just asking him what he's been up to because i haven't heard from him, then leaving a little happy pancake day after just to be cheesy! but he still didn't reply. I spoke to a friend of his and a friend of mines a few days later asking him if he's spoken to him lately and he replied yes, and told me he was texting him the day before.. I was heartbroken, it truely felt like he was ignoring me. A week and a bit later was my birthday, I was starting to really really REALLY miss him.. so i gave him another text just asking if i've done something wrong to upset him and letting him know that it was my birthday in a jokey way also, He still hasn't replied... I'm left feeling so confused.. I really want to know whats going on, and how I can get him to talk to me without making him feel awkward.. He's also very good at dodging awkward situations, if he doesn't know what to say to someone through text i know that he will ignore it.. but the fact he hasn't actually told me anything about how he feels about me.. and has just lead me on this far to frow it in my face, It really hurts. I honestly feel like i love him, this is the longest we've went without speaking since we started seeing each other.. I guess you can call it friends with benefits. :mad:
Nwabudikhe Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Really sorry to hear about that situation. Unfortunately, real men are in very short supply. Even IF you said something that really got to him, he should at least have the respect for you to explain himself, shy or no. It sounds like his friend was right, and this guy's got some major things to figure out and that he doesn't want to figure them out right now with you. Best advice is to leave it open for him to get it together if you like him that much, but don't wait up. Don't let his issues become yours. Just don't take it personally, learn what you can from him and keep moving in the right direction. Best wishes sweetie
Leigh 87 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Either he was not that into you, or he WAS into you, but decided he did not want to pursue a serious relationship. He is not hurting enough without u to need to contact u, so don't bother with him, as perfect as he is to you.
just-me12 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I would send him one more text message. Be assertive in a way. Something like. Look I realise something has gone on. I don't know what but believe I deserve some sort of explanation. You can go on ignoring me or be half the man I thought you were and reply back telling me what has happened here. I don't know if you would want to expand on it or not. But I would not continue to keep contact with him, he will fix things and then do a runner again, but something like that wouldn't go astray, at least you know you tried.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Texting is passive aggressive and it still puts the ball in his court to respond. Calling is more effective and if in fact it does go to voicemail, have at it with him. I once met someone like this " douchebag"- he ended up playing me, and then he targeted my best friend.
mixwell Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I would send him one more text message. Be assertive in a way. Something like. Look I realise something has gone on. I don't know what but believe I deserve some sort of explanation. You can go on ignoring me or be half the man I thought you were and reply back telling me what has happened here. I don't know if you would want to expand on it or not. But I would not continue to keep contact with him, he will fix things and then do a runner again, but something like that wouldn't go astray, at least you know you tried. I wouldn't even do that honestly. I believe strongly in actions speak louder than words so if he was interested he would have made sure to contact her back. All she would be doing by sending yet another text is sounding more desperate and clingy. I would advise her to just stop all contact and move on because it seems he is no longer interested in her.. 1
lilyblue Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Almost the same situation happened to me, and I feel so bad for you. Our relationship was more defined, but it still sucks either way. The guy was one of my best friends and told me over and over how much he wanted to be in a relationship with me, how happy I made him. We were close with each others' families, spent a ton of time together, etc. Then one day he just didn't respond to a normal text asking him if he wanted to get dinner. He always responded in 10 seconds, even before we were together. Then the next day he didn't answer his phone when I called. Then the next day he didn't respond to an email asking if he was ok. I never heard from him. He had gone back to his ex-wife. It still hurts so much.
mixwell Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Almost the same situation happened to me, and I feel so bad for you. Our relationship was more defined, but it still sucks either way. The guy was one of my best friends and told me over and over how much he wanted to be in a relationship with me, how happy I made him. We were close with each others' families, spent a ton of time together, etc. Then one day he just didn't respond to a normal text asking him if he wanted to get dinner. He always responded in 10 seconds, even before we were together. Then the next day he didn't answer his phone when I called. Then the next day he didn't respond to an email asking if he was ok. I never heard from him. He had gone back to his ex-wife. It still hurts so much. That sucks, you'd think or at least I would do it, that a guy would just say "hey im working things out with my ex sorry" but to just leave it open without an explanation is lame to me.. I'd rather just tell a female that I am not interested or getting back with an ex or turned gay or whatever to at least give her some closure.. even if it's just a txt message it's not that hard to just spend 10 seconds to explain what's going on..
lilyblue Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 That sucks, you'd think or at least I would do it, that a guy would just say "hey im working things out with my ex sorry" but to just leave it open without an explanation is lame to me.. I'd rather just tell a female that I am not interested or getting back with an ex or turned gay or whatever to at least give her some closure.. even if it's just a txt message it's not that hard to just spend 10 seconds to explain what's going on.. Thanks. It's SO lame. Maybe some day he'll mature (he's in his mid 30's). It's just so ridiculous, we were such good friends, and it would have helped me a LOT to have some closure from him. He is such a coward.
HeyFriends Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I wouldn't even do that honestly. I believe strongly in actions speak louder than words so if he was interested he would have made sure to contact her back. All she would be doing by sending yet another text is sounding more desperate and clingy. I would advise her to just stop all contact and move on because it seems he is no longer interested in her.. I'd have to agree here. No contact really works. ignore him, go out have a good time. He will eventually contact you regardless of his intentions, then let him know whats what then.
SadGrl Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Text him a picture of a big penis from some porn site and tell him that this is your new BF. 1
kiss_andmakeup Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 No contact. For whatever reason he's decided he's not into you, and sending him another text or phone call, regardless of its content, is just foolish at this point. Remove his phone number, e-mail address, facebook, etc. from your phone and computer. Eliminate him from your life. It's the best way to heal. If he really was interested or cared about you in any way, he'd contact you. What he's done is childish and cowardly, and merits ditching him from your thoughts entirely. 1
Author easyluckyfree Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 Thank you so much for just taking the time to read that.. I keep thinking the night over and over again, replaying everything i said to him in my head.. and i know i haven't said anything that would make him feel awkward or scare him off. I think i'm going to take yours and everyone elses advise and just not text or call him.. and wait for him to contact me, and if he doesn't i will try my hardest to move on, but at this moment I can't imagine me moving on, I can't even look at any other guys.. I feel so pathetic. But thank you so much. x
Linda Lee Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Don't text him or call him anymore, the more you come across as a desperate person the more you'll push him further away. Let's see what can he do when you : 1-Zero your contact 2-Stop showing you love him 3-Stop showing you miss him Try this for a week and let's see his reactions.
BetheButterfly Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Don't text him or call him anymore, the more you come across as a desperate person the more you'll push him further away. Let's see what can he do when you : 1-Zero your contact 2-Stop showing you love him 3-Stop showing you miss him Try this for a week and let's see his reactions. I agree with this. And if he comes back, be very careful. Sometimes people can do the roller coaster thing many times and that is not the sign of a good relationship. The less stress and miserable feelings in a relationship, the better for the health of the relationship!
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