xztjohn Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 its been 5 months now and i check my ex fb once in awhile. i blocked my ex from my fb but i ocassionally look on my friends comp without him being there and still look on his acct. i also have another method to look.i get curious how she is doing. i know its not good for me cause i usually end up getting hurt. i just cant help it sometimes ita like a drug. what do u suggest doing?
coltsfan1 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I just turned my fakebook off. I suggest doing the same, it will take about 6 months then you won't even think about it.
mike588 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I unfriended/defriended my ex. about 2 weeks after she dumped me and am so glad I did. If I haden't I know I would have been checking it for some time. 1
Senateguy Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) its been 5 months now and i check my ex fb once in awhile. i blocked my ex from my fb but i ocassionally look on my friends comp without him being there and still look on his acct. i also have another method to look.i get curious how she is doing. i know its not good for me cause i usually end up getting hurt. i just cant help it sometimes ita like a drug. what do u suggest doing? They only way I could get off facebook was to literally defriend everyone on my profile and then delete it. If i deactived the profile, i'd just turn it back on after a few days. If i canceled it, i would go back to the profile before the 14 day delete period expired. So the only thing i could do to stop the madness was literally delete every friend and then delete the profile. That way if i went back to the profile there was nothing to look at. As for looking at your friends, tell him to change his password so you don't know it. Facebook is a total mind suck. I don't miss it at all. I hate it. I hated the stalking, i hated how you always look at it. It's awful. I don't even think it's healthy for your mind. It's literally addictive too. I've been off facebook for like two months. I don't miss it one bit. I'll never go back on it ever again. I don't need to know what some dude i went to high school with is doing 20 years since the last time i saw him. Facebook is just virtual voyeurism. It's not healthy and it makes breaking up with your ex 1,000 times harder. Edited March 9, 2012 by Senateguy 4
sweetheart5381 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I swear FB is a curse when it comes to B/Us. I dont have my ex on FB, never did, though I can imagine it's hard to stay away from. I liken it to... "hmm, I know where he shops so maybe I will shop there today." Or "Hmmm, I could just drive past his house, it's on the way home from work"... or "I could drive past his friend's house, it's on the way to the gym", etc. If I ever feel the urge to do such things I think of the ramifications of potential hurt - do I want to keep hurting, or do I want to move on? Self-control will lead you to feeling better. NC is a choice that allows you to heal. I work with my ex and have to see him everyday unfortunately. I don't avoid him nor do I pay attention to him. I do not want to know what he is doing, how is doing, etc. You have the choice to stop looking at your ex's FB page, so choose it.... or suffer the consequences of not moving on. 2
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Hmmmm....this then makes me wonder if my ex who blocked me checks from time to time in other ways........If I blocked someone, I don't want to see anything; it takes a lot for me to block. That said, you will stop when you are ready to stop. Unless someone tosses your phone and computer out the window, you will be finding ways to check. Trust me, this will wear off. 3
nick d Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 For me, I had to stop because it was just bringing me pain and would make me sick to my stomach everytime I looked.. Why would you want to continue to bring yourself pain? I deleted my account..
Author xztjohn Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 i actually deleted my account in the beginning of the break up. But i still checked alot. Then i realized like fb is kinda important for my club updates and stuff and why am i the one who has to give up something when she does not. I just wrote on my iphone today that I will not check her fb starting as of today, we will see how long I last. I want her to be deleted from my memory. Its been 5 months now and I dont have the creepy need to check her fb anymore, its more like little curious how she doing and what she up to. I can go a certain number of time without checking, unlike before it was like almost everyday
ThatDudeXO Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 If it helps, I only started healing when I gave my facebook password to my best friend. Told them to change it and never tell me the password until a month passes. I now only have the urge to see what my friends are doing, not my heartless ex. Facebook is poison to the heart. 1
tornangel Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Omg tell me about it. I have to practically handcuff myself to not check not only his but his familys. And its funny cause I cant even look at his wall. LOL. I think it is just self abuse . But def not healthy. I think it takes time depending on how recent the break up. I thought about deleting my fb but I dont want to give him that satisfaction : ) He will soon be nothing more than a distant memory of a bad time in my life.
BewitchedandBothered Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Omg tell me about it. I have to practically handcuff myself to not check not only his but his familys. And its funny cause I cant even look at his wall. LOL. I think it is just self abuse . But def not healthy. I think it takes time depending on how recent the break up. I thought about deleting my fb but I dont want to give him that satisfaction : ) He will soon be nothing more than a distant memory of a bad time in my life. if you delete him and his family, you can't see their walls, or all the content anyway--that is if they set the privacy settings.
jus d'orange Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 At first, I really found it difficult to avoid looking at her page, even though I had "unfriended" her right after the breakup. Because I was friends with 4 of her family members, it made it really difficult to not see anything about her at all. However, I found that the constant checking of Facebook is both a symptom and a cause of the pain you feel. I am not interested in being with her anymore. She broke my heart for the last time and, while I still love her as a person, she is not a part of my life anymore. When I stopped feeling the constant pain over the loss of her, I stopped looking at her Facebook page (which shows me nothing new anyway, since we unfriended). If you really can't stay away from checking, I do recommend you take any approach possible to prevent yourself from looking. If you can use someone else's account, tell them to change the password for your sake. You need to cut this off from yourself. After a few weeks, you won't want to even look anymore. It takes everyone their own time to get beyond these things, but it's important that you realize that your life and happiness doesn't depend on their Facebook updates. Get out there and live your own life. 3
stimson554 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Step 1: unplug computer. Step 2: take computer outside. Step 3: find a baseball bat or other heavy object with leverage. Step 4: procede to relentlessly smash computer into millions of tiny bits and peices. Step 5: sweep up the carnage and place in trash can or container. Step 6: pour lighter fluid on trash can/container and set ablaze. not sure if this would solve your problem but it sure as hell would be entertaining. 3
tornangel Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 After completely trashing my laptop , I would look on my cell phone its 4 G and unlimited internet. Gosh I freaking hate technology LOL
KS11 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I was the same for a while, it would make me feel so sick, the anticipation before i went on her page. Then one day, enough was enough and i deleted my account, that was about 2 months ago and i can honestly say i dont miss it. Trust me, it makes it so much easier. 1
Philosoraptor Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 You could, you know... have some self discipline and understand that looking is just going to hurt you. I looked once about a week after it ended and got hurt. Haven't looked since; not that it would bother me anymore because I have to see her anyways regarding the house and such, but because I just don't care. A need to constantly check up on the past helps keep your from acceptance and moving on.
pacman81 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I unfriended my ex last night...it felt great knowing i am doing what is best for me and actually doing what i know is necessary to move on but was also hard just knowing it had to be done (accepting we are not together)...but i am accepting. I either need to be involved in her life (be together) or have nothing to do with it...i cant be a spectator which is exactly what facebook was making me feel like...seeing what she was up to but knowing i cant even call her to ask about it. 2
youngster Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 The "how to" is actually quite simple. The "want to" is the tough one. We all know how but in all reality it's wanting to. I could block the woman that I was involved with or delete my account but I know that if I want to see her, I'll just find a different avenue. I'm battling myself right now saying that I "want to want to" stop checking up on her because right now I'm doing it even though I know it is only bringing me hurt and prolonging my healing. It's crazy to think that a good portion of my pain is self inflicted.
M2155 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 You could, you know... have some self discipline and understand that looking is just going to hurt you. This is what I did too. I looked at my ex's page for quite a while, we're still friends. It usually hurt but it was also a hard reality that he had moved on since new girl was all over his wall. Eventually I challenged myself to go "no contact" looking at his page (I hid his feed) and when I was tempted I just told myself "ok but whatever you see is just going to annoy you" and I was proud of myself. So really just self-challenging yourself. Now I when I do hear about him or catch something it reminds me how annoying he can be, he always made himself sound better than he really was:cool:
Meaplus3 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Two words. Delete and block. Bamm. He's vanished. Mea 1
NopeNah Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Self control..if you have none you will always find a way to "stalk" them.
ThatDudeXO Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Two words. Delete and block. Bamm. He's vanished. Mea I always ended up unblocking her and looking at her page or see pictures through mutual friends So I gave my password to a friend and started healing!
Meaplus3 Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 I always ended up unblocking her and looking at her page or see pictures through mutual friends So I gave my password to a friend and started healing! Good job. Facebook can be a nightmare when it comes to an ex or old sweetheart from many moons ago. Been there.. Done with that. Play words with friends. Seriously, Good luck to you. Mea:) 2
rAFC Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 I don't know, I still have my ex and her entire family as my facebook friends. I have only looked at her page once in the 6 weeks since the breakup (started no contact immediately), I actually felt kinda bad for her when I did as she was posting about having an ulcer from all of her stress (I believe she broke up with me because of her clinical depression). Meanwhile I've been hanging out with friends, going on fun and exciting trips, working on myself and actually feeling better. I only looked at her page the one time and I don't plan on looking again. I learned a long time ago that if you don't want to know about something, the best way is to ignore it. It does take self-discipline though, which many people may lack.
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