Young women dont enjoy sex? Get the hell outta here.

[FrustratedStandards]

Says the woman who fakes so men dont cheat.

 

Eeeeeeeeeassssssssy now. Get off your high horse.

[kaylan]

No, because every orgasm isn't the same. Some Os have very strong contractions, and some have a slow build-up and then just a release, without the strong contractions. Some have one big contraction, and others keep going and going and going...

 

You are right that the flushed look would be hard to fake, but most of the time, sex is in at least partial darkness.

 

And yes, it IS self-defeating to fake, but as other posters noted, there's a reason. I haven't faked in many years, but when I did, it was because I liked a guy but didn't think I was gonna O, and didn't want him to think there was something wrong with me - or something wrong with him.

Really? Most sex I have had has been in the day time in a decently lit room.

 

O wells =p

[Quiet Storm]

The problem here is that you women wanna group me in with your past absent minded, selfish, and careless lovers who also pressure women about orgasm. I dont do that...so women never have to put on a show for me. Its she cums, great. If I come, great. If neither of us dont, maybe next time.

 

 

 

I don't think most women fake because the man is pressuring them. I think many young women fake because from their perspective, the orgasm is just not that important. I don't think most of the men are selfish lovers, I just think that many young men simply are naive. They spend a lot of time doing the wrong things, with good (not selfish) intentions. Many probably can't even find the g-spot and don't even know about the "come hither" movement. Many young women don't even know about their g-spot either, so it's like the blind leading the blind.

 

This is what makes it hard for a lot of these women...they see their man putting in a lot of effort and being patient, and they don't want to hurt their feelings.

 

I think that some young women enjoy sex simply for the adventure and closeness of it, not necessarily for an O. They get more benefit from seeing their man proud that he "satisfied" her, the cuddling and pillow talk afterwards, than they get from their actual orgasm.

 

They don't see the point of teaching him what to do (and a lot don't even know they O from penetration yet) , and they don't want to make him feel inadequate. Even if the man is willing to be taught, she may still feel that giving him tips will bruise his ego (and it often does).

 

As little girls, many of us are taught to please. We learn that criticism, even with good intentions, often has negative effects.

 

We are often naturally attracted to confident men, and we like the energy that a man gives off when he feels proud. Young women often like the attention and romance of a relationship more than the sex, so faking it seems like the best solution to keep things running smoothly.

 

I think with maturity, women decide that this is not the way to go. After they get stuck in a cycle of faking it, they will eventually get to a point where they stop, find a new guy, and are more open about what it takes for them to O, and finally have an authentic orgasms.

[kaylan]

Eeeeeeeeeassssssssy now. Get off your high horse.

Look whos telling who about a high horse all of a sudden. Ive taken a cue from your general standard....see what I did there?

[dasein]

And YES, you SHOULD accept our opinions instead of getting defensive. Why? BECAUSE WE HAVE VAGINAS. So we know what we are talking about.

 

OK, but if you want to learn how to milk a cow, do you talk to the cow? or the person who milks it every day? Not comparing women to cows mind you. If someone wants to learn what makes a good blowjob, for example, there's a certain element of "what does it for the individual guy getting blown" involved, granted. But it's would also be worthwhile to talk to hookers who give 20 BJs a day and have a vested interest in making their customers come as fast as possible.

[veggirl]

All right Kaylan. Maybe you are that guy...that guy who would be able to tell EVERY SINGLE TIME a woman faked an O. That's what this is about right? You say you'd be able to tell. So fine.

 

I don't believe you, I don't think any woman who has faked would believe you, either. But fine. Maybe I'm wrong and you are that guy.

[FrustratedStandards]

I'm not about to get into a childish argument with you. You don't like what i've got to say? That's fine.

 

But don't go around telling me you know more about a fake orgasm than I do. I'm the expert remember?

[FrustratedStandards]

OK, but if you want to learn how to milk a cow, do you talk to the cow? or the person who milks it every day? Not comparing women to cows mind you. If someone wants to learn what makes a good blowjob, for example, there's a certain element of "what does it for the individual guy getting blown" involved, granted. But it's would also be worthwhile to talk to hookers who give 20 BJs a day and have a vested interest in making their customers come as fast as possible.

 

But we aren't talking about how to please a woman or make her come. We are focusing now on whether or not a man can determine if she fakes or not. Kaylan refuses to listen to our opinions (women who have faked before) and apparently women can't fool him.

[BetheButterfly]

I don't think most women fake because the man is pressuring them. I think many young women fake because from their perspective, the orgasm is just not that important. I don't think most of the men are selfish lovers, I just think that many young men simply are naive. They spend a lot of time doing the wrong things, with good (not selfish) intentions. Many probably can't even find the g-spot and don't even know about the "come hither" movement. Many young women don't even know about their g-spot either, so it's like the blind leading the blind.

 

This is what makes it hard for a lot of these women...they see their man putting in a lot of effort and being patient, and they don't want to hurt their feelings.

 

I think that some young women enjoy sex simply for the adventure and closeness of it, not necessarily for an O. They get more benefit from seeing their man proud that he "satisfied" her, the cuddling and pillow talk afterwards, than they get from their actual orgasm.

 

They don't see the point of teaching him what to do (and a lot don't even know they O from penetration yet) , and they don't want to make him feel inadequate. Even if the man is willing to be taught, she may still feel that giving him tips will bruise his ego (and it often does).

 

As little girls, many of us are taught to please. We learn that criticism, even with good intentions, often has negative effects.

 

We are often naturally attracted to confident men, and we like the energy that a man gives off when he feels proud. Young women often like the attention and romance of a relationship more than the sex, so faking it seems like the best solution to keep things running smoothly.

 

I think with maturity, women decide that this is not the way to go. After they get stuck in a cycle of faking it, they will eventually get to a point where they stop, find a new guy, and are more open about what it takes for them to O, and finally have an authentic orgasms.

 

When I was younger, I faked organisms in order to please my then husband at the time. I thought that would make him happy and it worked in a way. I don't think he ever knew I was faking.

 

However, now that I'm more mature, I don't fake, because now I understand that when my husband knows the real deal, he gets me there. I wish I had understood that when I was younger lol! It is so cool and true how it is that once two people know each other's bodies very well, organisms come easy!

 

I think many women don't understand that when they fake, they are not teaching their partner about their body very well.

[kaylan]

I don't think most women fake because the man is pressuring them. I think many young women fake because from their perspective, the orgasm is just not that important. I don't think most of the men are selfish lovers, I just think that many young men simply are naive. They spend a lot of time doing the wrong things, with good (not selfish) intentions. Many probably can't even find the g-spot and don't even know about the "come hither" movement. Many young women don't even know about their g-spot either, so it's like the blind leading the blind.

This sounds like a contradiction though. Women dont fake because a man is pressuring them than why do some fake? Obviously they dont find the orgasm important and also because they feel pressured to show they have. Where does this pressure come from? Men. A guy who can show a chick that the orgasm isnt a necessary finale will have a chick who doesnt feel pressured to fake.

 

Either Ive done a good job conveying this message to women that sex is fun even without a finish, or the chicks Ive hooked up with just didnt feel the need to do it themselves. Either way, thats the rub of casual hook ups...they can be fun, but no way am I going to know the exact buttons to push unless I get practice in with a girl. Same with her and my buttons...hence why I avoid blowjobs during casual hookups. I actually had to stop a girl from performing oral and jump into sex because I was loosing my erection and didnt wanna ruin the experience. Pressure to the max.

 

This is what makes it hard for a lot of these women...they see their man putting in a lot of effort and being patient, and they don't want to hurt their feelings.

Again, dudes need to be reassuring and let them know not cumming is ok. With my ex sometimes shed just say, "not this time baby". Id say the same thing. Usually we hooked up too much during the week, or our rhythm was just off that time.

I think that some young women enjoy sex simply for the adventure and closeness of it, not necessarily for an O. They get more benefit from seeing their man proud that he "satisfied" her, the cuddling and pillow talk afterwards, than they get from their actual orgasm.

Some young women do this...but I havent met many...I dunno...as I said...where I went to college...plenty, I mean plenty of girls were having sex so they could get theirs. It was all about getting off and a guy who failed would get talked about. It wasnt a big school either.

 

They don't see the point of teaching him what to do (and a lot don't even know they O from penetration yet) , and they don't want to make him feel inadequate. Even if the man is willing to be taught, she may still feel that giving him tips will bruise his ego (and it often does).

 

As little girls, many of us are taught to please. We learn that criticism, even with good intentions, often has negative effects.

And this goes back to what I said earlier about society stifling female sexuality in comparison to male sexuality.

 

We are often naturally attracted to confident men, and we like the energy that a man gives off when he feels proud. Young women often like the attention and romance of a relationship more than the sex, so faking it seems like the best solution to keep things running smoothly.

Again, I dont understand these general overstatement regarding most young women. Ive met plenty who go out and have sex for the sake of having sex and getting off. But meh. Im not saying some are not as you described...I just feel young female sexuality does not get a lot of credit. Its almost always in the shadow of milf and cougar sexuality.

I think with maturity, women decide that this is not the way to go. After they get stuck in a cycle of faking it, they will eventually get to a point where they stop, find a new guy, and are more open about what it takes for them to O, and finally have an authentic orgasms.

Agree

[dasein]

IIRC, he never said "women absolutely can't fool me by faking an O." Apologize if I'm wrong.

[kaylan]

All right Kaylan. Maybe you are that guy...that guy who would be able to tell EVERY SINGLE TIME a woman faked an O. That's what this is about right? You say you'd be able to tell. So fine.

 

I don't believe you, I don't think any woman who has faked would believe you, either. But fine. Maybe I'm wrong and you are that guy.

With a woman I know very well, and whos body I well understand, yes could spot a fake. Thats what Ive been saying. I could understand women telling me someones faked on me if I said every chick cums all the time with me, but I never said this. I know sex is trial and error for both my and her orgasm. Once we figure that out, its easy squeezy lemon peezy.

 

I guess I just hang around a different group of young women than you gals. Because a good portion of them say they havent faked and that its stupid. And that if they wanna get theirs, theyll find someone to do it.

 

I'm not about to get into a childish argument with you. You don't like what i've got to say? That's fine.

 

But don't go around telling me you know more about a fake orgasm than I do. I'm the expert remember?

Lol youre an expert, but you also have a sordid and defeatist view of sex and relationships...so I dont take your opinion for much. Im just being honest.

[oldguy]

I believe women who fake it are only cheating themselves. The only way to know the individual tendencies, the likes dislikes at any given moment is to be honest in ones body language & subtle acknowledgement. I have found that it isn't just a matter of each woman being different but each experience is obviously different depending on the mood.

 

To a much earlier comment made about foreplay lasting only 20 minutes; all I can say is I regularly enjoy the exchange that lasts for days

[veggirl]

Dasein, I guess I assumed Kaylan was including himself when he said things like:

 

Men who have been around for real orgasms can spot a fake if they pay attention. You give us too little credit.

 

and

 

A chick can go ahead and fake contractions, but they are not going to rival a real orgasm in any way. Dudes who are generally selfish in bed are gonna get fooled by that.

 

and

 

A guy whos been with women who have truly orgasmed is not gonna be fooled by a fake.

[Saxis]

Youre either lucky, or shes a good actor. Lets hope its not the latter lolz

 

 

Ill agree that with a new girl it wont happen right away, for either of us really. It takes time to learn one another bodies...but once you do...its easy as cake.

 

I'm sure she's not faking. In the 3 months and well over 100 times we've had sex now, she's failed to have an orgasm only 3 times, just during penetration. 1 time I gave her one manually beforehand. The other 2, she just went all out to please me and didn't quite get there before I finished. I've failed to finish an equal number of times, but all of those times were on our 3rd round of the night.

 

Even our very first times we were both rather quick to orgasm, under 10 minutes with penetration only. I really don't have to try with her, although I have learned some specific things that will speed her up! I've never had it this easy with previous partners, and she hasn't either! I think we're just a case of extreme compatibility. We're not complaining!

[FrustratedStandards]

Lol youre an expert, but you also have a sordid and defeatist view of sex and relationships...so I dont take your opinion for much. Im just being honest.

 

Are you listening to yourself? My views on sex have nothing to do with my abilities to fake.

 

Are we still having this conversation?

[oldguy]

I believe women who fake it are only cheating themselves. The only way to know the individual tendencies, the likes dislikes at any given moment is to be honest in ones body language as well as subtle verbal & non verbal acknowledgement s. I have found that it isn't just a matter of each woman being different but each experience is obviously different depending on the mood. There is nothing like the passion between two lovers who truly know one another well enough to still be able surprise each other.

 

To a much earlier comment made about foreplay lasting only 20 minutes; all I can say is I regularly enjoy the exchange that lasts for days

[kaylan]

Are you listening to yourself? My views on sex have nothing to do with my abilities to fake.

 

Are we still having this conversation?

Your views on sex and relationships have everything to do with why you fake. Hence my not taking you seriously. You just have a less than positive outlook on everything related to men.

 

If you wanna pat yourself on the back for having simulated "good sex" than by all means. You only rob yourself. At least the guys getting off and not cheating:rolleyes:

[FrustratedStandards]

Your views on sex and relationships have everything to do with why you fake. Hence my not taking you seriously. You just have a less than positive outlook on everything related to men.

 

If you wanna pat yourself on the back for having simulated "good sex" than by all means. You only rob yourself. At least the guys getting off and not cheating:rolleyes:

 

I am really withholding my insults to your intelligence right now.

 

Please read what you wrote and then get back to me.

 

(Clue: It's WHY I fake, not HOW I fake. Still need help?)

[kaylan]

I am really withholding my insults to your intelligence right now.

 

Please read what you wrote and then get back to me.

 

(Clue: It's WHY I fake, not HOW I fake. Still need help?)

Go ahead and insult my intelligence. Its definitely standard behavior when it comes to you speaking about men on this forum.

 

Ive read what you wrote...and I dont really care about a simulation experts opinion when she has a sordid view of sex and relationships. At the end of the day, youve fooled a few guys and simply dont like the fact that Im saying I could spot a fake with you.

 

Its just a difference of opinion.

[FrustratedStandards]

No it isn't. This isn't about opinion. A woman either fakes, or she doesn't. "Opinion" doesn't determine that. Although apparently you think it does.

 

I'm taking the time to respond to your post and make you understand why you might be a little off about a few things.

 

YOU get defensive, then you OFFEND me for MY views, when you simply can't accept that you have been fooled before, or you may be fooled in the future.

 

You are not less of a man for it, and i'm starting to realize that you think you are if a woman can get by faking with you.

 

Looks like you might have some issues yourself my friend. I have my own no doubt, but i'm not denying it. Yeah, I got problems, that's why i'm on here silly goose. But YOU can't expect to ask a female questions about her sexuality, and then shoot her down because you don't like what she says.

 

Sorry babe, but sometimes you gotta swallow your pride and accept the facts. It's not easy, mind you, but that's the way it is.

[xxoo]

The good news is, young women can, and many do, enjoy sex.

 

Not knowing if a woman had an orgasm or not is one thing.

 

Not knowing whether or not she is into the sex--that's completely different. I enjoyed many, many hours of mutual sexual exploration before I ever had my first orgasm with a partner.

[kaylan]

No it isn't. This isn't about opinion. A woman either fakes, or she doesn't. "Opinion" doesn't determine that. Although apparently you think it does.

This whole discussion has been about opinion. About whether a guy can spot a fake or not.

 

I'm taking the time to respond to your post and make you understand why you might be a little off about a few things.

 

YOU get defensive, then you OFFEND me for MY views, when you simply can't accept that you have been fooled before, or you may be fooled in the future.

All of what YOU ladies have been doing is getting all defensive that a guy say he could spot a fake. How dare he, right?

 

Why get mad that I dont take your posts seriously. Especially when you started posting about simulating so a guy wont cheat. Im not supposed to be offended that women think so lowly of guys? I already know you think we are pussies, so excuse me for not loving your posts.

 

You seem so sure of your OPINION that I may have been fooled....as if my own opinion that, the 2 women I had my most enjoyable experiences with wouldnt have reason to try and fool me, is wrong. Why is my opinion automatically incorrect but yours correct? Especially when you arent capable of getting off with a man...does that mean these 2 girls cant either? and are exactly like you?

 

You are not less of a man for it, and i'm starting to realize that you think you are if a woman can get by faking with you.

Again, you dont read my posts the way you should. Read every single word please. I have said its no hair off my back if a woman wants to fake. Thats reflective of her more so than anything to do with me because I always try to give a woman a good time. All I said is that I have not encountered faking in my experience because the only women who Ive consistently came with, or who have consistently came with me, were women I was dating for a while.

 

They had no reason to fake, and it was all a learning experience for both of us. I could understand your position if I said every woman I was with had orgasms, but I never said this.

Looks like you might have some issues yourself my friend. I have my own no doubt, but i'm not denying it. Yeah, I got problems, that's why i'm on here silly goose. But YOU can't expect to ask a female questions about her sexuality, and then shoot her down because you don't like what she says.

 

Sorry babe, but sometimes you gotta swallow your pride and accept the facts. It's not easy, mind you, but that's the way it is.

I have issues? Lmao...look whos talking. Dont tell me I have issues as if you posting history is not indicative of the same. Those is glass houses dont throw stones. So give it a rest. Im only shooting you down. I havent targeted the other women here in the same way. I already know how you feel about men, so like I said, I dont care for your opinions.

 

And swallow my pride? Actually no, you want me to just swallow your opinion that you knew these 2 women I was with way better than I knew them. Get outta here with that.

[FrustratedStandards]

It's like talking to a wall.

 

I give up.

[DontWorryBHappy]

Hi Kaylan . I for one, have never faked an orgasm with a guy (I'm 22, almost 23). To me that would be the worst idea ever. When you fake, not only are you not actually getting the orgasm (which sucks) but on top of that you aren't teaching the poor guy how to do it right. So if **** isn't working he won't know it, and you've just lost any possibility of having consistently real, non-fake orgasms .

 

And in response to the original topic: I believe that some woman love sex, some woman can't stand it, some are neutral about it. It's a mixed bag. I just think it's important to be with someone who isn't a total opposite of you in that respect.