kiss_andmakeup Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I enjoy sex. Oh gosh do I enjoy sex. :love: I figured out at a relatively young age what makes me "tick" so to speak; techniques, styles, and specific things that get me off. But I didn't have a good understanding of how to articulate those needs to my partner until my second or third relationship (I'd say around 20-21). So I can see how many women maybe don't convey their needs well until they are older and more assertive and confident. But as many have pointed out, the quote in the OP is simply a case of "my experience is everyone's experience."
make me believe Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 LOL I love how it's only GUYS in here who are insisting that it's not common for women (especially younger girls) to fake and that they can spot a fake orgasm from a mile away. Meanwhile, us women -- most of whom have actually faked a few orgasms in our time and have friends who fake too -- apparently know nothing about the subject. When I started having sex with my husband, he was surprised that I didn't get off from penetration alone because supposedly EVERY girl he'd been with before me was coming 10 mins after he penetrated her. He, like Kaylan, refused to believe that any of them might have been faking, until I showed him some statistics that only 25-30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. That about broke his little heart. This is why I hate it when girls fake. It makes men think there's something 'wrong' with the rest of us because we don't start orgasming the second a d*ck enters us. So annoying. But I think a lot of girls become extremely adept at faking orgasms. (Not that it's that difficult... ) Kaylan's reaction is pretty typical of a guy who's been informed that at least some of the girls he's been with were almost surely faking SOME of the time. Guys get super defensive about this because they feel like we're saying they are bad in bed. But most of the time girls fake because guys expect them to come within a few minutes of oral sex or penetration (thanks, porn), and/or they are too passive to speak up and ask the guy to go down on her for longer or do something that will get her off. 3
snug.bunny Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I think faking intense physical pleasure is absurb, and I just don't see the point. If I wasn't enjoying it, I rather we stop altogether and suggest we go eat a sandwich or something. 3
xxoo Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 When I started having sex with my husband, he was surprised that I didn't get off from penetration alone because supposedly EVERY girl he'd been with before me was coming 10 mins after he penetrated her. He, like Kaylan, refused to believe that any of them might have been faking, until I showed him some statistics that only 25-30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. That about broke his little heart. But were they faking? Or were they honestly enjoying sex, and he assumed they had an orgasm?
Quiet Storm Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Really? Im supposed to believe someone can accurately reproduce the speed, as well as the strength of those muscle contractions? Sorry, Kaylan, I enjoy and agree with many of your posts, but you are 100% wrong about this. The contractions can definitely be reproduced, full speed and strength. I can even do mine faster & stronger than naturally, lol. What can't be faked is the rock hard nips, goose bumps and fluid. So look for those things as evidence, not the contractions. So many young women fake, and it really is sad. I got married really young and it took some time for my H to learn how to hit it right so I could get off on penetration alone. At the time, all of my friends were faking. Some had boyfriends for years and faked every one. Many women are eager to please their man, and we know that men want to feel like they took care of business. When a man feels like he did a good job in bed, he walks with a little pep in step, he has glide in his stride. We like to see that confidence, and often for young women, Oing is not that important. They'd rather fake it and have a confident man, than admit they didn't get there and have to deal with a dejected one. Self defeating, yes, but for many young women that haven't had that g-spot, squirting O yet...they don't know what they are missing so it doesn't seem like that much of a sacrifice. 2
Stellar Wench Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I dunno....I just had to run this by everyone to make sure I wasnt just in a daze with the women Ive been with.Or made to feel insecure. I truly cant stand posts like this which seem to only undermine a young womans enjoyment of sex....or your sexual ability.
pteromom Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 YI think its impossible for a woman to accurately mimic the contractions that go on inside of a vagina during orgasm. Moans, yes. Body, movements, yes. Contractions and that flushed looked across your body from the blood rush? hell no lolz It would be very hard to accurately reproduce the pulsing muscles of an orgasm without an attentive guy noticing the rhythm or intensity not being quite right. No, because every orgasm isn't the same. Some Os have very strong contractions, and some have a slow build-up and then just a release, without the strong contractions. Some have one big contraction, and others keep going and going and going... You are right that the flushed look would be hard to fake, but most of the time, sex is in at least partial darkness. And yes, it IS self-defeating to fake, but as other posters noted, there's a reason. I haven't faked in many years, but when I did, it was because I liked a guy but didn't think I was gonna O, and didn't want him to think there was something wrong with me - or something wrong with him. 1
FrustratedStandards Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 What can't be faked is the rock hard nips, goose bumps and fluid. So look for those things as evidence, not the contractions Even this isn't a dead giveaway. Often times when i'm naked, i'm cold. My nipples are hard 90% of the time, that's just the way they are, and it has nothing to do with arousal. Goose gumps aren't a big clue either, because when I orgasm on my own, I never get goosebumps. I think this is something that is more individual and not general. Fluids, also not necessarily. Women who don't orgasm but still enjoy the sex will get very very lubricated. When I have sex I actually enjoy, I get very very wet, to the point where even if i'm not faking men think I had an orgasm. Unfortunately for men, there is no way to really know. 1
pteromom Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Yeh, my nipple hardness is completely arbitrary. They have minds of their own. And I don't know if I EVER get goosebumps when I O. Not that I'm aware of. I'll pay attention next time. LOL And fluids - that's very individual and can also vary depending on where a woman is in her cycle. If a woman squirts every time they O, then yeh, you'd be able to tell. But I am generally not very wet (which can be annoying because I always need lube) and my wetness doesn't typically increase with orgasm - unless I am ovulating. Just as women all orgasm differently, the OP mentioned his penis throbbing when he Os and I've been with guys who don't throb at all. We are all different. And women who fake probably have different levels of skill when it comes to faking. If someone is trying to act like they are in a porn, then yeh, it would probably be easy to tell. But if they know well what happens when they orgasm, and they just replicate that, I think it would be very difficult in most cases for anyone to tell. 1
RedRobin Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) It has been awhile since I made having an orgasm the end-all-to-be-all with sex. I find that when I've done that in the past (made it the end goal), then things tend to get rather mechanical and boring after awhile. You learn each other's 'tricks'... you work them.... done... back to business. So now, when I'm with a man, I focus on having a connection and both of us feeling good. I'm certainly not keeping a stopwatch by the bed Yes, I've had both vaginal and clitoral orgasms. I read somewhere that 'g-spot' orgasms could be learned, and so have tried my hand at that too. It is not my normal thing, but I could see how people would dig it. I've even had 'wet dreams' as a woman. Woken up having an orgasm. Yep. Just like you men. To the main topic...when I was younger, I didn't enjoy it as much. Took awhile for me to learn my body and also relax a bit with a man. Most men are probably doing the same thing. Learning their bodies and about women... learning to relax. It does get better as you get older, as long as you don't pollute your heart and soul with people who use you or take you for granted that is. Alot of sex is truly mental and emotional... or letting it be. I wasn't always that way though. Edited March 9, 2012 by RedRobin 2
make me believe Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 But were they faking? Or were they honestly enjoying sex, and he assumed they had an orgasm? They were faking. (Unless they all happened to be in the minority of women who really do orgasm from penetration alone.) I've asked my husband if he was sure they were having orgasms, and he said yes, it was all based on what they told him. I know what you mean about guys sometimes mistaking enjoyment for orgasm though. I've had guys ask me "Are you SURE you didn't come that time??" because I'm so into it that they don't see how it couldn't lead to an orgasm. 1
Author kaylan Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) LOL I love how it's only GUYS in here who are insisting that it's not common for women (especially younger girls) to fake and that they can spot a fake orgasm from a mile away. Meanwhile, us women -- most of whom have actually faked a few orgasms in our time and have friends who fake too -- apparently know nothing about the subject. When I started having sex with my husband, he was surprised that I didn't get off from penetration alone because supposedly EVERY girl he'd been with before me was coming 10 mins after he penetrated her. He, like Kaylan, refused to believe that any of them might have been faking, until I showed him some statistics that only 25-30% of women can orgasm from penetration alone. That about broke his little heart. When did I say a woman never faked with me? I told you that someone from my past had and I joined in. Did you not read the thread at all? I also said I accept the fact not every chick is gonna cum every single time. The only thing I ever said was that my ex got off rather easily through ORAL once her and I learned each others bodies fairly well. Stop misinterpreting and glossing over what I actually said. This is why I hate it when girls fake. It makes men think there's something 'wrong' with the rest of us because we don't start orgasming the second a d*ck enters us. So annoying. But I think a lot of girls become extremely adept at faking orgasms. (Not that it's that difficult... ) Kaylan's reaction is pretty typical of a guy who's been informed that at least some of the girls he's been with were almost surely faking SOME of the time. Guys get super defensive about this because they feel like we're saying they are bad in bed. But most of the time girls fake because guys expect them to come within a few minutes of oral sex or penetration (thanks, porn), and/or they are too passive to speak up and ask the guy to go down on her for longer or do something that will get her off.I said earlier that I dont care if someone faked with me. Thats no hair off my back. I simply said only one girl has done anything that seemed like faking. The others just didnt get off every single time, and it takes time learning someones body. Ive never had any faking theatrics, so why are all of you trying to act like im some guy who says all women Ive been with came every time? I never said this. The problem here is that you women wanna group me in with your past absent minded, selfish, and careless lovers who also pressure women about orgasm. I dont do that...so women never have to put on a show for me. Its she cums, great. If I come, great. If neither of us dont, maybe next time. I never ask a chick if she comes either. I just ask try to make sure they have a good time. I know better than to add to much thinking or pressure to sex by having someone focus too much on the finish. I know I hate it so why do it to the chick? Edited March 9, 2012 by kaylan
FrustratedStandards Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Kaylan as much as I like you, I think you're way out of base here. First you say it's obvious when a girl comes and no one has ever done that with you, then you admit some faked and the rest were genuine, and now you're saying you don't care if they fake whereas before you would "never date a girl like that". You seem to contradict yourself often. It's okay to admit that you just don't know. You've had fakers, you blown a woman's mind, and other times you aren't sure. There is nothing wrong with that. 2
Author kaylan Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 Sorry, Kaylan, I enjoy and agree with many of your posts, but you are 100% wrong about this. The contractions can definitely be reproduced, full speed and strength. I can even do mine faster & stronger than naturally, lol. What can't be faked is the rock hard nips, goose bumps and fluid. So look for those things as evidence, not the contractions. So many young women fake, and it really is sad. I got married really young and it took some time for my H to learn how to hit it right so I could get off on penetration alone. At the time, all of my friends were faking. Some had boyfriends for years and faked every one. Many women are eager to please their man, and we know that men want to feel like they took care of business. When a man feels like he did a good job in bed, he walks with a little pep in step, he has glide in his stride. We like to see that confidence, and often for young women, Oing is not that important. They'd rather fake it and have a confident man, than admit they didn't get there and have to deal with a dejected one. Self defeating, yes, but for many young women that haven't had that g-spot, squirting O yet...they don't know what they are missing so it doesn't seem like that much of a sacrifice. I still dont buy that someone can recreate involuntarily muscle spasms accurately, as well as the other signs of orgasm. You want me to buy it simply because a few bumbling men buy fake orgasms all their life, but Im not them. It is sad women still fake, but meh thats on them. Its half and half, and hopefully I find a girlfriend who doesnt feel need to do that. I do think its an old school overstatement by older women to label younger women as not caring about orgasm. I went to a school that was 65% to 70% female...so I had many female friends. Trust me, plenty of those girls cared about getting off when they hooked up and wanted to. Theyd drag a guy through the mud who wasnt good in the sack.
veggirl Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Kaylan as much as I like you, I think you're way out of base here. First you say it's obvious when a girl comes and no one has ever done that with you, then you admit some faked and the rest were genuine, and now you're saying you don't care if they fake whereas before you would "never date a girl like that". You seem to contradict yourself often. It's okay to admit that you just don't know. You've had fakers, you blown a woman's mind, and other times you aren't sure. There is nothing wrong with that. Oh yeah, all of this. Too damn defensive! No one is saying the guys who didn't make a girl come every time or whatever is selfish, lazy or absent minded, etc. Except you Kaylan. You are saying that. We, the women who experience this first hand, have mostly said that even if we don't orgasm it's still enjoyable in MANY circumstances etc. 1
FrustratedStandards Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I still dont buy that someone can recreate involuntarily muscle spasms accurately, as well as the other signs of orgasm. You want me to buy it simply because a few bumbling men buy fake orgasms all their life, but Im not them. Hunny bunny you just said that you can "bust a nut" and have a sh*tty orgasm by leading yourself to it. What makes you think a woman can't do a few kegels, make a few moans and tense herself up?
Author kaylan Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 Kaylan as much as I like you, I think you're way out of base here. First you say it's obvious when a girl comes and no one has ever done that with you, then you admit some faked and the rest were genuine, and now you're saying you don't care if they fake whereas before you would "never date a girl like that". I never said no one ever faked with me. A few pages ago I admitted my first faked and that I joined in. If you are going to make accusations, quote me instead of having selective recall about snips of the conversation. I also never said every girl I slept with came. Tbph Ive only had an extended sexual relationship with 2 of the women Ive been with. The others were just hookups, and neither them or I really got off. Its kinda hard to find what works with someone I dont know all that well physically. With the 2 chicks I had more time with, we both did not start O'ing regularly until we learned each others bodies well. Makes sense right. Stop putting words in my mouth. Im not one of those guys whos said every single woman cums like an ocean for me. You seem to contradict yourself often. It's okay to admit that you just don't know. You've had fakers, you blown a woman's mind, and other times you aren't sure. There is nothing wrong with that.I dont need to say I dont know. With the exception of my first I have never had productions played for me by chicks Ive slept with. Ive never put on a show either. In the case of the 2 women I dated for a while, there was neither reason for either of us to simulate anything. There was never pressure on anyone to orgasm and it was all a caring and learning experience. But youre gonna tell me these chicks reproduced every single sign of orgasm simultaneously right?
veggirl Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Kaylan, you realize some women may not even contract in the way you are describing, right? So who says that's even what it takes to fake it? I've been with guys who I could feel contracting etc and guys I couldn't at all. Same for women. 1
FrustratedStandards Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Just keep thinking what you're thinking then. Apparently you know a female orgasm better than a woman herself. Kudos to you.
dasein Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I don't think anyone in this thread has stated or insinutated that they have women "all figured out" as a whole sexually where orgasms are concerned. But it IS relatively easy to figure out an INDIVIDUAL woman's sexual response for observant men. The faking/lying about coming issue is solved rather easily with a new or relatively new partner. During a good session, get her to masturbate herself to orgasm. I always do this. After that, for observant men, it will be almost impossible for her to fake an orgasm. Some women only have a few slight tells, such as extreme pupil dilation, cooling of skin temperature, mild flushing. Others pour out lots of extra fluid during O, have intense vaginal or other muscle contractions (that CAN NOT be duplicated voluntarily), lose consciousness briefly, don't ever come until their labia are engorged with blood, rock hard nipples, etc. Once you have seen a particular woman's true orgasmic response, ideally in a variety of intensities of O, if you pay attention, you will know with very high accuracy going forward whether she is faking an orgasm or not. Is it possible she could still lie/fool you? Of course. Unlikely though. 1
FrustratedStandards Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Ahaha. Dasein I like you. You're clever.
veggirl Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Just keep thinking what you're thinking then. Apparently you know a female orgasm better than a woman herself. Kudos to you. Word. But youre gonna tell me these chicks reproduced every single sign of orgasm simultaneously right? Glad I don't have the same signs every time. It varies based on the intensity etc. It's wonderful having a variety of reactions Never know if I'll shudder, if I'll goosebump, etc. It's fun. 1
Author kaylan Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 Oh yeah, all of this. Too damn defensive! No one is saying the guys who didn't make a girl come every time or whatever is selfish, lazy or absent minded, etc. Except you Kaylan. You are saying that. We, the women who experience this first hand, have mostly said that even if we don't orgasm it's still enjoyable in MANY circumstances etc. Defensive? Why should I not defend my position? Lol you ladies are funny. You want me to just lie down and accept your opinion, and if I dont relent, Im defensive? lolz ok. Im saying that you are grouping me into the wrong group of men. Because everytime you say "but you cant known every time" one of you references some guy who was absent minded or overtly boastful about making all his women cum quickly. I never did any of that...so why bring up such a make when speaking with me? I know sex is fun with orgasm. Ive said this from the jump that its no big deal if it doesnt happen everytime. Ive had sex where I didnt orgasm myself. No big deal. Hunny bunny you just said that you can "bust a nut" and have a sh*tty orgasm by leading yourself to it. What makes you think a woman can't do a few kegels, make a few moans and tense herself up? You are trying to compare a real, yet forced orgasm to a fake production. Even though I lead myself to a less enjoyable orgasm, theres not accurately recreating the actual events of the orgasm and what happens with my body.
Author kaylan Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 Kaylan, you realize some women may not even contract in the way you are describing, right? So who says that's even what it takes to fake it? I've been with guys who I could feel contracting etc and guys I couldn't at all. Same for women. Either way, I never said every women came with me. The only women who came consistently were chicks who I knew very damn well and paid my entire attention to. I could see you guys telling me the women I were with faked if I made the assumption they came every time or that every single one of them had orgasms. But I never said this. I simply said from the get go that I could get off a chick, who Ive learn how to work, fairly easily. And then out came the wolves. Just keep thinking what you're thinking then. Apparently you know a female orgasm better than a woman herself. Kudos to you. Says the woman who fakes so men dont cheat.
FrustratedStandards Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 You are trying to compare a real, yet forced orgasm to a fake production. Even though I lead myself to a less enjoyable orgasm, theres not accurately recreating the actual events of the orgasm and what happens with my body. The male and female anatomy is entirely different. A woman doesn't need to get hard to have sex, a man does. A woman doesn't need her vagina to get soft after she orgasms. You can't compare a male orgasm to a female one. And YES, you SHOULD accept our opinions instead of getting defensive. Why? BECAUSE WE HAVE VAGINAS. So we know what we are talking about.
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