Young women dont enjoy sex? Get the hell outta here.

[kaylan]

I have never had a vaginal orgasm. I have had clitoral orgasms only by myself, never from a man.

 

But mesmerized has a point. Most guys (most) really can't tell. And this isn't counting the really obvious fakers like the kind of girls you see in porn.

 

I bet you have had girls fake before too, and you thought they were genuine. Now i'm not saying this is always the case, but i'm saying it has happened in the past, and you didn't catch it. Especially since you are young (mid 20's if i'm not mistaken?) I presume that some of your sex partners have been of the same age. So a fake orgasm must have happened without your knowing it. I can guarantee it.

How do you know most guys cant tell? Thats a big leap Id say, especially when Ive talked to several dudes about this who picked up on it. And I said on an earlier page that the first girl I slept with faked. Aside from her I havent had chicks simulate when with me. Theres really no need for it because I can accept that fact that orgasm wont always happen.

 

You cannot guarantee anything. Im flat out telling you sometimes the chicks dont orgasm...so theres not much room for error in what Im saying, unlike the room for error with guys who think they make every woman cum all the time. Ive never had a woman go through theatrics, and I dont keep going for an long time praying for the woman to cum like some guys will.

 

If its not gonna happen, it just doesnt. So theres no reason to fake.

 

I'm not implying in any way that you are a bad lover. Nor that you're "absent minded". Hell, I wouldn't even be able to tell if a woman was faking or not if I was right there watching! Some women are just really good at faking (and faking doesn't mean 100% false, they could still be very aroused and enjoying themselves).

Like I said, theres really been nothing to fake with me. My enjoyment of sex is not solely predicated on a womans orgasm. Nor is the end of sex dictated by when she "finishes". So theres never been a need to fake.

 

Unlike other guys I wont make an assumption that a chick had an orgasm unless shes a chick ive been with a while and I actually know all her real "tells". I never ask "did you cum" or "are you getting there?" or anything of the sort. I simply enjoy the sex for what it is.

Much like how a guy can will himself to come, a woman might fake. Like you said, it's not a real orgasm but "busting a nut". In a sense, a woman's faking is the equivalent of that.

Its not equivalent in a sense. Busting a nut still ends in a real orgasm. Albeit a sh!!tty one. Edited March 9, 2012 by kaylan

[FrustratedStandards]

How do you know most guys cant tell? Thats a big leap Id say, especially when Ive talked to several dudes about this who picked up on it. And I said on an earlier page that the first girl I slept with faked. Aside from her I havent had chicks simulate when with me. Theres really no need for it because I can accept that fact that orgasm wont always happen.

 

You cannot guarantee anything. Im flat out telling you sometimes the chicks dont orgasm...so theres not much room for error in what Im saying, unlike the room for error with guys who think they make every woman cum all the time. Ive never had a woman go through theatrics, and I dont keep going for an long time praying for the woman to cum like some guys will.

 

If its not gonna happen, it just doesnt. So theres no reason to fake.

 

 

Like I said, theres really been nothing to fake with me. My enjoyment of sex is not solely predicated on a womans orgasm. Nor is the end of sex dictated by when she "finishes". So theres never been a need to fake.

 

Its not equivalent in a sense. Busting a nut still ends in a real orgasm. Albeit a sh!!tty one.

 

I think you put your sexual abilities on a pedestal. Just because you can spot when a girl is faking, doesn't mean you can spot it each time. That being said, faking has nothing to do with theatrics or exaggeration. Fakes can be quiet too.

 

I know most guys can't tell because I have never had an orgasm, yet every single guy I have ever slept with (albeit not that many) have always thought that I have.

 

Now I won't lie, a few times they guessed that I faked. But the rest of the time, they kept boasting about themselves and I just kept my mouth shut.

 

Every man is capable of detecting a fake orgasm, but not one man will recognize a fake orgasm every single time it happens.

 

That's the point i'm trying to make.

[kaylan]

I think the claim most of us are disputing isn't that 'it's possible' - of course it is. It's your insinuation that if a woman doesn't get off in 10 minutes, there's something wrong with the guy.

 

I especially dispute the bolded - I really don't think it's common for most women to go from zero to orgasm in less than 10 minutes. The 'skill' of their partner has little or nothing to do with it. In fact, IMO 'skill' is not related at all to how quickly you can bring your partner to orgasm, but rather to how pleasurable the entire experience is. And often, going slow and taking your time is needed for the latter.

I meant 10 minutes of just oral. This is long after a good bit of kissing and handsey-pansy-ness. Its more common than you think, even if its not 'most' women. I guess all of the female anecdotes I read and hear are wrong. And these are usually from folks whove been dating the same person for a while. Its really easy to get off with someone who knows your body.

 

And in my post about skill, I also reference attentiveness and generosity. That ties into skill. I see skill as someones entire body of sexual work. Emotions and all.

I do agree with your original premise that the posters who make blanket statements about 'young women not enjoying sex' are likely speaking out of their asses, or have a whole bunch of sour grapes due to not getting any themselves.

Womp womp, sour grapes indeed.

[kaylan]

So, are you saying you don't have "pro skillz"?

The 20 minutes was in reference to overall foreplay thats focused solely on her. After about that much time, she usually wants to have sex or give me a turn.

 

The ten minutes was in reference to the average amount of time I do just oral within a set of foreplay when with a girl Im normally hooking up with.

Again, after a while she wants something else and we switch up. Sometimes it goes back and forth. kissing, oral, sex, then oral again, then more sex, etc. But im never in one spot for more than 10 minutes at a time and I dont need to be. Id stay longer if need be but theres always variation.

 

Obviously I dont aim for ten minute quickie sessions unless someone really has to be somewhere. But in the past, with a couple of women I really knew well. It was plenty of time. With all the sexting they got over, we were both pretty turned on and things were easy.

 

I dunno if I have pro skillz. Youd have to ask the women how theyd describe me. All I know is I try to take care of my women and do what it take to make them feel good.

[darkmoon]

@ Kaylan - suppose i didn't like your vibrator because it's been in your bedroom cupboard obviously (to me) used as routine whipped out to get me, and others too, to climax - suppse i don't want a strange man to lick me out?

[Titania22]

@ Kaylan - suppose i didn't like your vibrator because it's been in your bedroom cupboard obviously (to me) used as routine whipped out to get me, and others too, to climax - suppse i don't want a strange man to lick me out?

 

I can't follow this sentence, can anyone interpret please?

[kaylan]

i've been pleasured by the touch of a rubber glove, the feel of rabbit fur (not now, veggiegirl) a short man who fitted me like a glove as i too am short, a quicke at a family Christmas, Tracy Lords exercise video

 

my point is there is not just one womanly response, not just one sort of orgasm, and yes, if a man, a one night stand, doesn't quite do it, i'll fake to be polite, by to my SO, i am honest

My only lifetime one night stand didnt get off...but I understood as it took me forever to get off. The sex was bad...plus her foul mouth was a turn off. Dirty talk is hot, but certain things a chick shouldnt say.

 

Either way, I dont need a girl to fake for me to feel good about myself. Its a shame some women think every guys ego is that fragile and he needs her to be "polite" in bed. Then again, I kinda understand this since I try not to hurt a chicks ego when it comes to sex stuff.

[darkmoon]

@ Kaylan - suppose i didn't like your vibrator because it's been in your bedroom cupboard obviously (to me) used as routine whipped out to get me, and others too, to climax? - suppse i don't want a strange man to lick me out?

 

these has been the running two recomendations from the OP, if ten/twenty minutes of foreplay don't make his "chick" he calls them, cum then its a vibtator and a lick out - i see STD's

[Els]

I meant 10 minutes of just oral.

 

Wait, wasn't it you who used the words 'foreplay' and 'oral sex' interchangably? I'm confused.

[kaylan]

I think you put your sexual abilities on a pedestal. Just because you can spot when a girl is faking, doesn't mean you can spot it each time. That being said, faking has nothing to do with theatrics or exaggeration. Fakes can be quiet too.

Lol I see way more chicks put their abilities on a pedestal than I do men...especially since women think all men are so easy to get off.

 

I really dont put my abilities on a pedestal. I just take pride in the fact that Im an attentive lover who actually seeks to make sex mutually satisfying...also while not pressuring a girl to have to orgasm. Apparently this is a rarity in men if what I read online or hear from my chick friends is correct. If anything I put my pride in being a rarity on a pedestal.

I know most guys can't tell because I have never had an orgasm, yet every single guy I have ever slept with (albeit not that many) have always thought that I have.

And your absolutely sure none of them went a told their friends they faked? If I told you some of the things Ive done with or said about chicks Ive hooked up with, youd be surprised. Especially since these chicks were always left thinking I had a super swell time.

 

My point is that a good number of dudes are great at going along with a chicks routine and but telling their friends something way different. Why do this? Well if the chick will give us sex when we need it, why screw that up? Unless its just really bad sex, I aint screwing it up.

Now I won't lie, a few times they guessed that I faked. But the rest of the time, they kept boasting about themselves and I just kept my mouth shut.

 

Every man is capable of detecting a fake orgasm, but not one man will recognize a fake orgasm every single time it happens.

 

That's the point i'm trying to make.

mhmmm. Whatever ya say. I guess you need to think that...otherwise us guys will cheat on you for the women who really cum right? Wasnt this said earlier?

 

Wait, wasn't it you who used the words 'foreplay' and 'oral sex' interchangably? I'm confused.

Depending on the context I can mean just oral or the whole foreplay sha-bang-a-bang. Ill stop doing that since its confused some people. I just got into the habit of doing that since a lot of times when I talk to people about sex, theyll use the word foreplay to reference oral, instead of just saying oral. With all the other stuff in foreplay Im used to people actually detailing the rest of that stuff...ie...the kissing, caressing, grabbing, fingering, jerking off, dirty talk, etc

 

My bad. So instead of relying on context Ill actually separate oral and foreplay and be more specific.

Edited March 9, 2012 by kaylan

[FrustratedStandards]

I guess you need to think that...otherwise us guys will cheat on you for the women who really cum right? Wasnt this said earlier?

 

Yes they will. Why do married men have affairs? Because the other woman (many times she isn't more attractive than the wife) makes the man feel good again. She makes him feel young, or like a stallion of whatever the case may be.

 

Men have affairs because these new women give them a sense of pride and manhood. Most of the time it starts as sex, but if the sex is good and he feels like he is satisfying her, then bam all of a sudden the marriage is on the rocks and he wants to runaway with this new woman (who doesn't offer anything other than boosting his ego).

 

So yes, I do believe that a man will cheat with a woman who will make him feel better about himself. I have seen marriages fall apart because of this, and unfortunately, YES, it does come down to sex. A man wants to be with a woman he can sexually satisfy. End of story.

[kaylan]

@ Kaylan - suppose i didn't like your vibrator because it's been in your bedroom cupboard obviously (to me) used as routine whipped out to get me, and others too, to climax? - suppse i don't want a strange man to lick me out?

 

these has been the running two recomendations from the OP, if ten/twenty minutes of foreplay don't make his "chick" he calls them, cum then its a vibtator and a lick out - i see STD's

Huh? I have a vibrator lying around in my bedroom drawer? I simply said a vibrator is a good optional aid, not that Ive ever had to use one.

 

And if you dont want me to lick you out, fine by me...Im lost here...wheres this going? lol

 

And I never said that if a chick takes longer than a certain time, that Id be grabing a vibrator. I said earlier that when a woman and I have had enough time to learn one anothers body, that it doesnt take us long to get each other off.

 

If there are times a girl doesnt get off with me, Im not running to get a vibrator....ill either take more time if she really wants to get off, or Ill just accept that its not happening that time. Im a grown up. I know sex is about two people. A lack of orgasm doesnt always mean one person sucks...though sometimes it can mean that lol.

Edited March 9, 2012 by kaylan

[darkmoon]

Huh? I have a vibrator lying around in my bedroom drawer? I simply said a vibrator is a good optional aid, not that Ive ever had to use one.

 

And if you dont want me to lick you out, fine by me...Im lost here...wheres this going? lol

 

And I never said that if a chick takes longer than a certain time, that Id be grabing a vibrator. I said earlier that when a woman and I have had enough time to learn one anothers body, that it doesnt take us long to get each other off.

 

If there are times a girl doesnt get off with me, Im not running to get a vibrator....ill either take more time if she really wants to get off, or Ill just accept that its not happening that time.

 

it's just that your default position would look clinical/cold to me, just the fact you go from non-orgasmic girl to the licking and vibrators routine to make her, and crucially any girl, come - we're not just one sort of human being - any default position that you keep doing ignores this, sex is something you share, not do to someone - any new girl gets your same old repertoire, she might wants to explore hers, and you just don't see licking is laden with STD's

[kaylan]

it's just that your default position would look clinical/cold to me, just the fact you go from non-orgasmic girl to the licking and vibrators routine to make her, and crucially any girl, come - we're not just one sort of human being - any default position that you keep doing ignores this, sex is something you share, not do to someone - any new girl gets your same old repertoire, she might wants to explore hers, and you just don't see licking is laden with STD's

You really lost me here dude.

 

I never use vibrators so Im confused by what you are saying. I know sex is something you share. I have always felt so. And I dont know what the STD talk is about. Maybe Im not reading your last couple of posts correctly. Either way, I only lick clean gals...though you have made me a little more paranoid of STDs at the moment.

[darkmoon]

You really lost me here dude.

 

I never use vibrators so Im confused by what you are saying. I know sex is something you share. I have always felt so. And I dont know what the STD talk is about. Maybe Im not reading your last couple of posts correctly. Either way, I only lick clean gals...though you have made me a little more paranoid of STDs at the moment.

 

 

what's clean? i mean STD protection is not about just bathing.

[kaylan]

what's clean? i mean STD protection is not about just bathing.

Oh...clean is just a slang expression for STD free. I wasnt trying to say that just because a girl takes showers that she wont have an STD.

[Andy_K]

I'm going to hold my hands up and say I can't be at all sure if a girl is faking or not. Every girl gets off differently, and every girl is going to be slightly different in terms of physical response (contraction strength, speed, breathing, etc) when they do. To say that I could know better than her what her natural response is would/should be is incredibly arrogrant. Maybe it felt fake but was really genuine. Maybe it felt genuine but wasn't. No way to know for sure since every girl responds a bit differently.

 

Some of the orgasms my long term partners have had could easily have been faked, and I wouldn't know. The only reason I'm generally confident they weren't, is that my ex's have fallen into one of two categories - either very highly orgasmic (why fake it several times per session?), or been 'normal' but had no trouble with telling me the times when it 'just wasn't going to happen' without fear of wounding my ego.

 

As for short term flings? No way I'll ever know for sure.

[Els]

 

My bad. So instead of relying on context Ill actually separate oral and foreplay and be more specific.

 

Ah, fair enough. In that case, yes, I agree that many women can orgasm after 10 minutes or so of oral/manual stimulation.

[Feliciti]

"Sure some women hit a "prime" in their 30s, but that has mostly to do with putting down their mental barriers and also having years of experience under their belt"

 

it is not dropping mental barriers or years of experience,

rather, orgasms become easier to get to

 

i know you won't want me to tell you this, preferring some media-created fictional cougar as you seem to do

 

I most certainly don't hope it get's easier. I'll end up passing out before we even got to the main act >_> I'm extremely sensitive, hardly even needs to be touched properly to get off. Sometimes wish I was faking it, because getting off takes a massive toll on my stamina.

 

I do think the younger the girl, the more likely she is to fake an O, or exaggerate her true interest in sex (ex; saying what she thinks the guy wants to hear/will think is sexy). That certainly doesn't mean young women don't orgasm or enjoy sex!! I *probably* wouldn't really believe that a gal was getting off in 10 min *every* time she had sex / oral. Maaaybe there's some girls like that out there, but they'd def be the vast minority...and probably faking....

 

To elaborate: We usually have sex (Everything from foreplay to intercourse) that takes about an hour. He doesn't really care much for foreplay performed on him (Which I really wish he did..) but he loves giving, typically getting me off twice before we get to the real act. That's only 15 minutes. The actual act takes about 45 minutes, where I generally get off twice, thrice or sometimes 4 times if he really tries to mess me up, but that's more because he loves teasing me with my sensitive. I'm always smashed after the session, much to the amusement of my boyfriend. I can't get out of the bed without help, typically just falling asleep a minute or two after he stops pleasuring me.

 

And if it really is because of the mental mood, I must be in the mood more often than I can admit to myself. Of course, my boyfriend being significantly older and by extension, significantly more experienced my contribute quite a bit to this.

 

"No male can know that a female had a real orgasm. It is just impossible."

Completely agree. I'm not generally a vocal type, but when I get off, I am. A lot. Being generally shy in person, even towards my boyfriend, means I rarely speak or specifically voice my opinion during sex, so he can always tell when I'm about to cum. Always.

 

I'm far more concerned with him getting off. As I've been saying, he usually spends 15 minutes solely on me, before spend 45 minutes having sex. My inexperience probably factors in a lot here, but that's a long time. I wouldn't expect to get him off by using my hands and my mouth in less than an hour. He's a single shot guy though, and seems impossible to get hard again without a longer period of rest.

 

People's generalisations are really odd in here o.o

[darkmoon]

how many men u been with?

Edited March 9, 2012 by darkmoon

[Feliciti]

1. He's my first.

[Els]

I'm far more concerned with him getting off. As I've been saying, he usually spends 15 minutes solely on me, before spend 45 minutes having sex. My inexperience probably factors in a lot here, but that's a long time. I wouldn't expect to get him off by using my hands and my mouth in less than an hour. He's a single shot guy though, and seems impossible to get hard again without a longer period of rest.

 

People's generalisations are really odd in here o.o

 

I don't think there's anything necessarily wrong with your guy, some men do take a long time to orgasm as well. But honestly, it isn't very common for a guy to HAVE to take 45 minutes to orgasm IMO (although some guys enjoy drawing it out, most of them are capable of a quickie as well). And especially not for a blowjob or manual stimulation to take more than an hour.

 

Is he on any medications, or does he masturbate a lot at other times?

[darkmoon]

1. He's my first.

 

well, u will never find more happiness than with him, but based on quite a bit of luck to cum across such a man, but my posts, and the other women's posts, don't talk like you i only had one such a man but he was living with a woman, so i just want to say that alot of the remainder of my sex life was not like that, rather some of the best of it was masturabation and so i learned alot about what i ilke which i share with my SO now

 

lots of posts left by me, i'm all talked out

[xxoo]

I have also never had a vaginal orgasm.

 

These days I get really aroused and enjoy myself, and make lots of noise (from enjoyment). But I never (and have never) faked. Once a couple years back, a guy actual thought I had had an orgasm (I guess I get really into it), which surprised me since I didn't and I am not of the mind to even think of faking.

 

Did you tell him you didn't?

 

It bothers me when people assume that "making noise" when not having, or at the edge of having, an orgasm is "faking". They should try being penetrated and being silent! Each thrust can feel like a "hit" of pleasure, even when it is not building to orgasm.

 

If men interpret that to be faking orgasm, I wonder if they have any idea what a real orgasm looks like

[zengirl]

I think the claim most of us are disputing isn't that 'it's possible' - of course it is. It's your insinuation that if a woman doesn't get off in 10 minutes, there's something wrong with the guy.

 

I especially dispute the bolded - I really don't think it's common for most women to go from zero to orgasm in less than 10 minutes. The 'skill' of their partner has little or nothing to do with it. In fact, IMO 'skill' is not related at all to how quickly you can bring your partner to orgasm, but rather to how pleasurable the entire experience is. And often, going slow and taking your time is needed for the latter.

 

Right. Generally speaking, when I think of 'skills' in a sexual context, it is the man's ability and willingness to draw it out that is more skillful than rushing it. Do I ever enjoy a quickie? Sure, sometimes. But I do not think a quickie requires greater skills----it just requires a more aroused starting point/different state of mind. If I can have a quickie, it's because I'm already revved up----it's getting me revved up when I'm NOT already that takes skills, not bringing me to climax when my motor's already going. (Honestly, that just takes not screwing it up majorly and most men could do it, I assume.)

 

I do agree with your original premise that the posters who make blanket statements about 'young women not enjoying sex' are likely speaking out of their asses, or have a whole bunch of sour grapes due to not getting any themselves.

 

Though, once again: totally. Yes, women like sex. I think older women are more likely to enjoy it than younger women, on average, but everyone reaches their sexual awareness at a different age (I don't think it takes till 30 or 40 in many cases, and I really think plenty of people reach it in their mid20s or even sooner, but 'older' than when they first started having sex for sure, which varies as well). I do not think many women enjoy their first time, physically, from what I've talked about with women, or even their first man, in many cases. Depends on the experience, of course, but I do know many women who didn't know what good sex was when they first started having sex. Perhaps this is true of men, too---it's a subject I've discussed more with women.

 

When you actually first realize what good sex is, it's pretty fantastic, IME.

 

I think you put your sexual abilities on a pedestal. Just because you can spot when a girl is faking, doesn't mean you can spot it each time. That being said, faking has nothing to do with theatrics or exaggeration. Fakes can be quiet too.

 

This. So much this. When I have faked, it was never exaggerated or OTT. Most were fairly quiet.

 

Did you tell him you didn't?

 

It bothers me when people assume that "making noise" when not having, or at the edge of having, an orgasm is "faking". They should try being penetrated and being silent! Each thrust can feel like a "hit" of pleasure, even when it is not building to orgasm.

 

If men interpret that to be faking orgasm, I wonder if they have any idea what a real orgasm looks like

 

This is also true, in many cases. Just because a girl sounds like she's into it and IS into it doesn't mean she has/can/will orgasm. Sex can feel very nice without orgasm.