Young women dont enjoy sex? Get the hell outta here.

[kaylan]

I was reading a particular thread here about sex, and a poster said what is quoted underneath. Im 25 btw, so Ive been with the women being referenced ever since I was a teenager.

 

You are wrong about the majority of females. The foreplay should be long (30-min - a few hrs) especially if you are with a new partner. No male can know that a female had a real orgasm. It is just impossible. Women who are before 30 are typically at their lowest level of sexual feelings and many feel almost nothing except positive emotions of being desirable and some painful sensations in vagina that make them moan during sex.

Either all of my experiences have been fictional productions, or this poster has NO idea what she is talking about.

 

If anything, the longest Ive ever done foreplay on a girl is 20 minutes. Ive never received foreplay longer than that either. After a while we either get off or both of us wanna get down to the main course...and Ive never heard of anything more than a half hour of foreplay being the general average norm.

 

A few hours??? Get outta here. I would be sore or bored if I did foreplay for a few hours. Giving or receiving.

 

Either way, in my experience with a new girl, I either go down for 5 to 15 minutes or so and the girl gets off, or Im down there for less than 10 minutes before she wants to have sex. Im the same way. Sometimes I just need to have sex, despite if Im enjoying the oral. I just get crazy and need it. Its that "ugh, this feels great but sex feels so much better and really hits the spot" feeling.

 

I also found it silly that she thinks a man can never spot a real orgasm. Some dudes arent bumbling idiots ya know. Some of us are attentive enough to recognize when we are doing something right and will stay the course to get a woman close to her O.

 

What bothered me the most was this chicks assumption that young women are so unsexual and dont enjoy sex. Sure some women hit a "prime" in their 30s, but that has mostly to do with putting down their mental barriers and also having years of experience under their belt. Ive been with young gals who were very much sexual and enjoy the feeling of sex as much as I did. It wasnt just positive emotion mixed with physical pain.

 

I dunno....I just had to run this by everyone to make sure I wasnt just in a daze with the women Ive been with. I truly cant stand posts like this which seem to only undermine a young womans enjoyment of sex. Its beyond me that this post came from a woman as well.

Edited March 8, 2012 by kaylan

[TheBigQuestion]

You're right. The person you quoted is wrong. It's true that there are a decent amount of young women who don't seem to really enjoy sex, but they're a minority. Most figure out how to make it pleasurable for themselves after about the first dozen times they have sex.

[darkmoon]

"Sure some women hit a "prime" in their 30s, but that has mostly to do with putting down their mental barriers and also having years of experience under their belt"

 

it is not dropping mental barriers or years of experience,

rather, orgasms become easier to get to

 

i know you won't want me to tell you this, preferring some media-created fictional cougar as you seem to do

[kaylan]

"Sure some women hit a "prime" in their 30s, but that has mostly to do with putting down their mental barriers and also having years of experience under their belt"

 

it is not dropping mental barriers or years of experience,

rather, orgasms become easier to get to

 

i know you won't want me to tell you this, preferring some media-created fictional cougar as you seem to do

Im very interested in sexuality and have read surveys and studies about this. A lot of the prime does have to do with mentality towards sex and having more experience. Being less inhibited compared to ones youth is the big factor here.

 

Im just repeating what Ive heard many other women say. It would make sense that being more open to sex and having more experience with your body would make you more orgasmic.

[joystickd]

"Sure some women hit a "prime" in their 30s, but that has mostly to do with putting down their mental barriers and also having years of experience under their belt"

 

it is not dropping mental barriers or years of experience,

rather, orgasms become easier to get to

 

i know you won't want me to tell you this, preferring some media-created fictional cougar as you seem to do

 

Easier to get to because some have dropped mental barriers like he said.

[CupcakeCrisis]

I don't think half an hour of foreplay is that unrealistic. A few hours, yeah...who could keep going that long?! But half an hour is ideal.

 

I'll be quite honest and admit that I have never really enjoyed sex with my s/o that much. Our sex life has always been rather infrequent and in the last year incredibly erratic - some weeks it's 2 - 4 times a week, but if he's feeling at all stressed with anything, we're lucky to have it once every week or two.

 

He's a get in, get out and get on with your life type of man - unfortunately for me. In my experiences with men, the ones I have dated have been rather sexually selfish. They don't care if I get pleasured or not as long as they get their orgasm. I blame myself to some extent for just giving up and going with the status quo, but that was after a long while of trying to drive home the importance of putting effort into sex with your girlfriend. I was the only one who ever made effort with bringing toys into the bedroom, and that's still true, so I've largely given up. I no longer have the desire to play dress-up or get toys knowing that it doesn't get me anywhere.

 

Then again, once I started taking hormones anyway, a lot of my desire waned and I can't really be bothered to enjoy sex anyway. So, problem solved, I guess? Heh heh.

 

I'd say at most my boyfriend has spent 10 minutes with foreplay. When we do have foreplay and it lasts longer than that, it's because I'm continuing - not him. He always has an excuse lined up about cramping hands and whatnot. So, in my eyes, a man who bothers to go past that is a champion!

 

He's given me maybe 4 - 8 orgasms in the nearly 4 years we've been together. That's better than my ex though - he gave me an orgasm once in the 1.5 years he and I were together. I wouldn't consider myself incredibly difficult to get off, either. I just think a lot of guys either don't try or don't try long enough.

 

5 to 15 minutes seems rather quick to get a woman to orgasm...I don't think it's unrealistic that a man would never know if a woman is truly having an orgasm. If she's faked it from the beginning - how could you tell? People react differently when they orgasm. If you yourself aren't experiencing it, it's pretty much impossible to tell in a woman.

 

Sex isn't painful, but vaginal sex, while I enjoy it, isn't as great as other play. Now that's one statement I can agree is a little out there, unless we're talking about virgins, recent virgins or people who haven't had any penetrative action in a long while - it can definitely hurt if I haven't had sex in a while.

[xxoo]

A lot depends on the women.

 

Young women are absolutely capable of enjoying sexual stimulation, and reaching orgasm. Before the age of 18, I was able to work together with a bf (he's my hubby now ) to reach orgasm. But probably that is not the norm.

[darkmoon]

and the replies so far -

 

three guys who can't seem to handle being corrected by a woman

and two women reporting non-orgasmic times

 

put the porn on quick, those poor guys must be sooo upset

[serial muse]

Yeah, I agree with those who said that one might become less inhibited as one gets older, but that doesn't mean young women don't ever enjoy sex, full stop. I just think they have a much harder time asking for what they really want - and perhaps many young men with less experience might not know how to provide it without some help and direction. So all around, inexperience can equal less satisfying sex.

 

Doesn't mean that nobody's having a good time, just that it can get better.

[TigerCub]

Yeah, I agree with those who said that one might become less inhibited as one gets older, but that doesn't mean young women don't ever enjoy sex, full stop. I just think they have a much harder time asking for what they really want - and perhaps many young men with less experience might not know how to provide it without some help and direction. So all around, inexperience can equal less satisfying sex.

 

Doesn't mean that nobody's having a good time, just that it can get better.

 

Well said.

 

As for me - I've always loved sex. I'm 30 now, but I loved it before.

 

Not sure about guys detecting fake orgasms or not - I've never faked, simply because I don't believe in reinforcing bad performance - so I can't speak on that one.

 

 

I have found that the more confidence I have in my body, in who I am, in my abilities in bed, I'm way less inhibited and do more freaky acts, but that doesn't mean that I didn't love sex before getting to that point.

[kaylan]

I don't think half an hour of foreplay is that unrealistic. A few hours, yeah...who could keep going that long?! But half an hour is ideal.

Oh no, I wasnt saying a half an hour wasnt realistic...I was saying I havent heard of the norm being much more than that. Anyone Ive ever spoke to likes to have about a good 20 minutes focused on just them during oral for instance. So thats 40 minutes combined. A far cry away from a few hours lol Id be so bored at that length.

 

I'll be quite honest and admit that I have never really enjoyed sex with my s/o that much. Our sex life has always been rather infrequent and in the last year incredibly erratic - some weeks it's 2 - 4 times a week, but if he's feeling at all stressed with anything, we're lucky to have it once every week or two.

Aww hun Im sorry. Is it that you dont enjoy it because you get no good feelings from it, or is it simply because your guy puts in no effort? Are you able to enjoy it the times he is attentive?

 

He's a get in, get out and get on with your life type of man - unfortunately for me. In my experiences with men, the ones I have dated have been rather sexually selfish. They don't care if I get pleasured or not as long as they get their orgasm. I blame myself to some extent for just giving up and going with the status quo, but that was after a long while of trying to drive home the importance of putting effort into sex with your girlfriend.

 

I was the only one who ever made effort with bringing toys into the bedroom, and that's still true, so I've largely given up. I no longer have the desire to play dress-up or get toys knowing that it doesn't get me anywhere.

That sucks...ya know...Ive never came across many guys who didnt pride themselves on being sexually generous. We know how women dislike a sexually selfish guy, so many of us try our best to be giving in bed. I know I do, but its cus I truly love getting a chick off. Makes me feel all manly and junk. Plus that post orgasm glow is amazing to see. Along with the smile shes got on her face.

 

Dont sacrifice your enjoyment miss. Because this can cause a big rift in your relationship. Especially when you know there are guys out there who really know how to treat a woman in bed. And if you ever happen upon one of those guys before you try and fix things with your bf...you can end up quite torn. I know id easily bail on a chick who didnt care about my enjoyment in bed and only got herself off.

 

Then again, once I started taking hormones anyway, a lot of my desire waned and I can't really be bothered to enjoy sex anyway. So, problem solved, I guess? Heh heh.

Are the hormones necessary? Maybe you could lower the dosage? Are you really content with your sex life being this way?

I'd say at most my boyfriend has spent 10 minutes with foreplay. When we do have foreplay and it lasts longer than that, it's because I'm continuing - not him. He always has an excuse lined up about cramping hands and whatnot. So, in my eyes, a man who bothers to go past that is a champion!

Lame...he sounds lazy and selfish...the only time I stop foreplay is if the chick to have sex, or give me my turn. Oh, and also if my hand cramps up...But I dont cramp up unless I reach the 20 minute mark going straight through. An easy way around that is too simply switch hands, or vary the intensity at which you use your hands.

 

If a guy does it like that than he should be able to stay down there all night.

He's given me maybe 4 - 8 orgasms in the nearly 4 years we've been together. That's better than my ex though - he gave me an orgasm once in the 1.5 years he and I were together. I wouldn't consider myself incredibly difficult to get off, either. I just think a lot of guys either don't try or don't try long enough.

Dude...bail on this fail of a guy. Seriously, 1 or 2 orgasms a year? Wow...he doesnt give a damn if you enjoy sex it seems.

5 to 15 minutes seems rather quick to get a woman to orgasm...I don't think it's unrealistic that a man would never know if a woman is truly having an orgasm. If she's faked it from the beginning - how could you tell? People react differently when they orgasm. If you yourself aren't experiencing it, it's pretty much impossible to tell in a woman.

I said 5 to 15 minutes before she just wanted to screw. Didnt necessarily mean she got off. It just meant she wanted sex right then and there. Im the same way...sometimes oral drives me too crazy and I just want sex.

 

With my ex it took us both about ten minutes each to get off from oral once we figured each others bodies. It took longer in the beginning, but I figured her out lovely once time went on. 5 minutes wasnt a hard task for either of us if we were both super turned on. Also, shes still the only chick to get me off with oral. I really enjoy it, but it just doesnt do enough for me like it does most guys.

Sex isn't painful, but vaginal sex, while I enjoy it, isn't as great as other play. Now that's one statement I can agree is a little out there, unless we're talking about virgins, recent virgins or people who haven't had any penetrative action in a long while - it can definitely hurt if I haven't had sex in a while.

Lol, ya...that statement through me for a loop. Especially since chicks Ive been with have sometimes practically begged me to put it in them lol Im quite a tease lolz

[TheBigQuestion]

and the replies so far -

 

three guys who can't seem to handle being corrected by a woman

and two women reporting non-orgasmic times

 

put the porn on quick, those poor guys must be sooo upset

 

I can't seem to handle being corrected by a woman? What the hell are you blabbering about?

 

I admitted that there are plenty of young women who may not enjoy sex that much. That can result from unsatisfying partners or mental inhibitions. But it's flat out incorrect to say that this constitutes the majority of young women. It's also not true that most women actually need that much foreplay either. Plenty of women seem more than content to just hop on it. It's happened to me plenty, and it's happened to others.

[kaylan]

and the replies so far -

 

three guys who can't seem to handle being corrected by a woman

and two women reporting non-orgasmic times

 

put the porn on quick, those poor guys must be sooo upset

Who says I cant handle being corrected? Im telling you what OTHER women have told me as well as studies on the matter. Studies that gather opinions from other women. Your opinion is not gospel for all women.

 

One woman with non-orgamic times has a boyfriend who doesnt care to get her off. That has nothing to do with her actual ability to enjoy sex. Im sure she can get off by herself just fine. Plus shes taking freaking hormones that kill her sex drive.

 

The other woman in this thread said she had orgasms with her boyfriend before age 18.

 

All I was ever getting at is that a sexual healthy chick, whos open about her sexuality, and has explored her body and knows how to get herself off...will have no problems enjoying sex with a generous partner.

Edited March 8, 2012 by kaylan

[veggirl]

I do think the younger the girl, the more likely she is to fake an O, or exaggerate her true interest in sex (ex; saying what she thinks the guy wants to hear/will think is sexy). That certainly doesn't mean young women don't orgasm or enjoy sex!! I *probably* wouldn't really believe that a gal was getting off in 10 min *every* time she had sex / oral. Maaaybe there's some girls like that out there, but they'd def be the vast minority...and probably faking....

[kaylan]

I do think the younger the girl, the more likely she is to fake an O, or exaggerate her true interest in sex (ex; saying what she thinks the guy wants to hear/will think is sexy). That certainly doesn't mean young women don't orgasm or enjoy sex!! I *probably* wouldn't really believe that a gal was getting off in 10 min *every* time she had sex / oral. Maaaybe there's some girls like that out there, but they'd def be the vast minority...and probably faking....

A guy or chick whos generous, attentive and skilled with their oral set, really wont have much issues getting someone off in ten minutes. 10 minutes is PLENTY of time to get off if youre with someone whos got pro skillz.

 

I have to say the biggest reason I have only gotten off on oral with one girl is because most women suck at giving blowjobs. Sure, some of it has to do with my not enjoying it as much as sex, but still a lot of chicks are straight up horrible at it.

 

I will agree that my ex was a rare diamond in the rough. But I think we only clicked so well and made things so easy because we had time to get to know each others bodies and explore and junk. Ive had 2 girlfriends in my life, and everyone else Ive slept with has just been a hook up or FWB...so you dont get the benefit of learning each others bodies as well.

Edited March 8, 2012 by kaylan

[TigerCub]

A guy or chick whos generous, attentive and skilled with their oral set, really wont have much issues getting someone off in ten minutes. 10 minutes is PLENTY of time to get off if youre with someone whos got pro skillz.

 

I have to say the biggest reason I have only gotten off on oral with one girl is because most women suck at giving blowjobs. Sure, some of it has to do with my not enjoying it as much as sex, but still a lot of chicks are straight up horrible at it.

 

I gotta disagree with that in bold - it may be true for a man, but female orgasm is like 80% mental or some crazy stat like that.

Even if the guy will eat it like its his last meal - that doesn't guarantee the girl will get off, if she's not turned on mentally.

[veggirl]

A guy or chick whos generous, attentive and skilled with their oral set, really wont have much issues getting someone off in ten minutes. 10 minutes is PLENTY of time to get off if youre with someone whos got pro skillz.

 

I have to say the biggest reason I have only gotten off on oral with one girl is because most women suck at giving blowjobs. Sure, some of it has to do with my not enjoying it as much as sex, but still a lot of chicks are straight up horrible at it.

 

Yeah. Many guys suck at giving oral too. Even when they think they are uber skilled.

 

I'd hesitate to refer to 10 min as PLENTY of time, no matter the skill level though. It's not instantaneous even when it is amazing. I guess I'm including all foreplay though, not just oral.

[Kamille]

 

10 minutes is PLENTY of time to get off.

 

Agreed! While I enjoy the occasional long session, I don't think it ever took me more than 20 minutes to get there. Seriously, for me, I know within 5-7 minutes of the activity starting whether or not I'm going to be able to reach an orgasm. (It usually has a lot more to do with my own state of mind than my partner's skills).

 

I think it's also important to distinguish "enjoying sex" and "reaching orgasm". In my early 20s, I did not know how to reach orgasm with a partner. There were mental barriers to overcome and things to learn about my body. I still enjoyed sex (it was still pleasurable, and that pleasure was part of learning about my body). I still preferred 10-20 minute session to longer ones. In fact, I probably liked the shorter sessions more in my pre-partner-orgamic early twenties than I do now.

[TheBigQuestion]

A guy or chick whos generous, attentive and skilled with their oral set, really wont have much issues getting someone off in ten minutes. 10 minutes is PLENTY of time to get off if youre with someone whos got pro skillz.

 

I have to say the biggest reason I have only gotten off on oral with one girl is because most women suck at giving blowjobs. Sure, some of it has to do with my not enjoying it as much as sex, but still a lot of chicks are straight up horrible at it.

 

 

A lot of women treat performing oral sex on a man as a chore rather than a mutually enjoyable activity. That's why many of them are no good at it.

[kaylan]

I gotta disagree with that in bold - it may be true for a man, but female orgasm is like 80% mental or some crazy stat like that.

Even if the guy will eat it like its his last meal - that doesn't guarantee the girl will get off, if she's not turned on mentally.

Re read my post. I said skills that will make it easier to reach orgasm include attentiveness, generosity and actual moves used.

 

Orgasm is mental for EVERYONE. I know I cannot orgasm from oral or sex if the chick is being lame in bed. When someone makes you live inside your mind thinking during sex, it totally zaps enjoyment. Especially the "tell me when youre gonna cum" chicks.

[veggirl]

Re read my post. I said skills that will make it easier to reach orgasm include attentiveness, generosity and actual moves used.

 

Orgasm is mental for EVERYONE. I know I cannot orgasm from oral or sex if the chick is being lame in bed. When someone makes you live inside your mind thinking during sex, it totally zaps enjoyment. Especially the "tell me when youre gonna cum" chicks.

 

What's wrong with asking when he's gonna come? I ask my BF to tell me, cause I slightly change up what I'm doing when he is right about to come, to make it a better O for him TMI?

[BetheButterfly]

I am 34 (that's not really young I know but it's the new 20s, or so my little sister tells me lol. I do love sex and have since I first had sex!!! (I was a virgin when I got married at 23, and sad to say the marriage didn't work out but I am now married again!) Having sex with my husband is number 1 on my favorite thing to do list!!! My husband thinks it's funny cause many times I thank God for the gift of sex afterwards.

 

I know many women of many ages who love sex too

[kaylan]

What's wrong with asking when he's gonna come? I ask my BF to tell me, cause I slightly change up what I'm doing when he is right about to come, to make it a better O for him TMI?

The kind of women I was referring to are the ones who seem like they are rushing me, instead of letting me enjoy myself.

 

Tbh, I get very self conscious that I dont react the same way as some guys do during oral. Some women have made me feel like Im supposed to be super rock hard as soon as they touch me or lick me there. But theres a method to keeping a guy really into it. Plus, I feel a bit weird that I need a bit more to get off from it.

 

TheBiqQuestion was right with his last post...a chicks attitude towards oral can have big affects on a guys enjoyment. It really only took a couple of selfish chicks acting like it was a chore for me to feel even more odd for not getting off in just 2 minutes.

[TigerCub]

Re read my post. I said skills that will make it easier to reach orgasm include attentiveness, generosity and actual moves used.

 

Orgasm is mental for EVERYONE. I know I cannot orgasm from oral or sex if the chick is being lame in bed. When someone makes you live inside your mind thinking during sex, it totally zaps enjoyment. Especially the "tell me when youre gonna cum" chicks.

 

I thought you only meant "skilled with their oral set" when you said skills later...my mistake.

 

hmmmm, I think I'm guilty of having asked that question in the past - just a few times, but now that I know that its really annoying, I'll be sure to cut that **** out- wow, I learned somethin new

[irin]

im a virgin but i still think theres some truth to this. is very difficult to reach orgasms through masturbation, it takes hours. if i cant get myself there then i dont know if it will be easy for guy to get me there! but then again i probably dont know what im talking about!