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Posted

opinions needed.... trying to repair a 22 yr relationship. Not sure it's working. I wonder if getting married would help with trust issue's? I never believed in having to get married before, neither did spouse. Now I starting to think that having to go through the legal ''act'' would help restore the trust or some assemblance of it.

Posted

devil is in the details of course but I don't see how or why someone would marry someone whom they distrust. Unless the foundation (and I'd say this is the very foundation) of a relationship is completely solid I wouldn't recommend anyone get married- maintaining a relationship is difficult enough as it is without the state, and it's legal encumbrances becoming involved.

Posted

Do you have kids? If not, I might walk. It's such hell, probably not worth it if you aren't fighting for the little one's well being.

Posted
opinions needed.... trying to repair a 22 yr relationship. Not sure it's working. I wonder if getting married would help with trust issue's? I never believed in having to get married before, neither did spouse. Now I starting to think that having to go through the legal ''act'' would help restore the trust or some assemblance of it.

 

Don't get married if there's no "trust". Marriage means NOTHING if there's no trust or faith in the other person. It is up to that other person IN ACTIONS to prove to you that they are trustworthy and worth a chance.

 

It's like a couple having a baby in hopes the marriage will be saved. if anything, it'll just add more stress.

 

What is he doing to reassure you (in actions, not words)?

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Posted

Three kids, 2 adult and one young.

Posted
Three kids, 2 adult and one young.

 

Yeah 22 years and a kid still at home. I'd try to work it out, but I agree signing a piece of paper isn't going to make things better. There's plenty of people here (including myself) who are going through hell from betrayals by people who did sign that paper and whom we never thought would betray us.

 

On the other hand if you think you'll make it, marriage is sure nice tax wise. I'd wait until the relationship is secure again though.

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Posted

It has been almost 2 yrs now since I realized I was the only one comitted to our relationship. I am not sure what stability in the relationship will look like, I lost faith and trust that day that I havent been able to get back.

Posted
It has been almost 2 yrs now since I realized I was the only one comitted to our relationship. I am not sure what stability in the relationship will look like, I lost faith and trust that day that I havent been able to get back.

 

What caused you to lose trust?

 

What would it look like if trust was being earned?

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