goohoo Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Well, some of you may know my story, some may not. So, to keep it short, I broke it off with my ex in Nov 2011 due to GIGS (thought I wanted to live the single life), wasn't quite what I had expected, tried reconciling in Feb 2012, but by this time she was interested in someone else, although she assured me the decision to shoot me down was extremely difficult and that she definitely still had feelings for me. After she moved out of my place (which was Dec 2011), she moved in with a good guy friend of hers and, in my opinion, due to comfort, security, and influences from her friends, took a liking to this new guy and now she plans to (if she's not already) dating him. She's bee living there now over three months. So, here's where I'm beginning to analyze. My ex loves being around people. She hates to be alone. She likes her friends and having them around in general and is fairly adventurous. She currently has a job where she works barely one day a week, so is basically unemployed. The guy she is living with I believe works the night shift, from 7pm until 7am, not sure of the days but I know they do rotate (each week he doesn't work the same days, but usually 3 to 4 days a week). Anyway, lately I've been seeing posts from my ex on FB (yes, we're still on good terms) about being very bored, things being very lame, etc. I'm just starting to wonder if either a.) she's just bored bc nobody is around, but is still missing the new guy and isn't thinking of me or b.) The luster of this new adventure is starting to wear off and maybe her mind is buzzing about how much better it was in the past, considering her and I spent every night together and she was never alone. Do you think these lonely nights for her may be having an effect? This new place she is at gives her the freedom to have all of her possessions where she wants them, she has her pets with her, and her friends can freely come and go there as they please, whereas when she was living with me, this wasn't the case. I can't remember one time where she invited any of her friends over, even though I wouldn't have minded one bit. She always thought she was infringing on my space, even though I constantly reassured her it wasn't a problem. I don't know. Maybe I'm over-analyzing, but then again, maybe I'm not. Keep in mind, I am in NC at this time. She did message me a few days ago because I had dropped something off at her house without her knowing, and when she found it, she questioned me why I didn't stop in so we could talk (seems like a breadcrumb to me). I know it's tough, but what do you guys possibly think could be going through her mind?
sweetheart5381 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I guess my first question when reading this post, is why did you want to live the single life in the first place and dump her? Were there problems in the relationship? Were you happy with her, did you genuinely enjoy being with her? Also, it is the dumper who leaves the "breadcrumbs" so to speak. You ended it initially, not her. When you did that, she had no choice other than to move on and accept that you no longer wanted to be with her. That is very difficult to do with GIGS, btw. How and why did you reconcile? Why did she choose to reconcile?
sweetheart5381 Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 My apologies, I misread your post and the two of you did not reconcile. She said "No thanks" to a reconciliation... smart girl, once bitten. That being said, she cannot be the one offering "breadcrumbs" at all. Why are you NC and still checking out her FB? Why are you dropping stuff off at her place, invading her space without her knowing it? You broke up with her.. left her alone... and still invade her life when you feel like it?? IMO, she may love you and miss you, but her heart was broken. Some damage is never undone and leaves the dumpee with no choice other than to turn the other cheek, walk away and wish the other well graciously with no contempt. That's class.
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