MissBee Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Married, in my wife's case. Just a question Radagast.... Do you think that Chyna's situation is like your wife's?? She afterall is not looking to marry this man allegedly....
Author ChynaDoll Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 Amen to that! Chyna, I suggest doing a bit of research on oxytocin. Mentally, many of women are strong and independent and can control themselves and their emotions in many aspects of life. But biologically, we are set up to become chemically addicted to the man we are intimate with. I would suggest that what you're doing is like shooting up heroin when you know you have the addictive personality gene. You might get lucky and not get hooked but it's really, really not likely. Furthermore, as many here will point out to you, A's are designed to suck the OW in emotionally. The secretive nature of them makes everything seem so much more intimate - makes it seem like you know a part of MM that no-one else does, makes it seem like you are valued because MM goes to such effort to see or communicate with you. That's flattering and being flattered feels good and then the good feelings become associated with MM and voila! Affair fog. It's a rare OW who can stay detached and rational in the face of the many, many ways an A sucks us in so I'd have to say that yes, being involved in an A at all is setting yourself up to get hurt. It's playing with fire and expecting to not get burnt (because you'll be very, very careful, right?). Fire has a life of it's own, as do A's, and there is no predicting or controlling what might happen unless it's totally, irrevocably extinguished. I wish you all the luck in the world, Chyna, no matter what you choose to do. I just hope you believe the advice you are getting here and make an informed decision. Thanks Flutter. I've heard about the effects of oxytocin on women which is what has me concerned. This thread basically confirmed my suspicions that I am playing with fire. It's just ppl like me, are hard headed. You say is is VERY unlikely, and I hear there is still a small chance. Excellent post! Hopefully Chyna considers it.... But I wish her well as well. I do think if one is hellbent on going down a certain path, we just have to let the person go down it for themselves unfortunately, and then see for themselves. If we're wrong, then great for Chyna, if we're right then she obviously had to learn through her own experience. Thanks MissBee, btw, i liked your post about I "allegedly" don't want to marry him, lol. I truly don't. I think I may be hellbent on going down this path to see for myself. 100 people could of posted and said to run the other way, but if just 1 or 2 ppl post and said it wasn't so bad it gives this hard headed gal hope.
Author ChynaDoll Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 Part of me knows I'm probably screwed unless there is an oxytocin blocker. The other part of me just wants to have fun and doesn't care or thinks it won't happen to me. I can be so hard headed... I have been seeing him almost everyday, sometimes twice per day since my original post. Logic tells me the safest thing to do for my emotions is to stop. My impulses remind me of how much fun I have with him, how euphoric the sex is and to just keep riding the wave, keep my emotions in check and worry about the consequences later. I suspect I may already be in too deep. How could I want to continue to do something that is so risky? (because I think my will power is super human.) It's like an addiction... You can't force an addict to quit. They have to want to quit. crap. I don't want to yet.
MissBee Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Part of me knows I'm probably screwed unless there is an oxytocin blocker. The other part of me just wants to have fun and doesn't care or thinks it won't happen to me. I can be so hard headed... I have been seeing him almost everyday, sometimes twice per day since my original post. Logic tells me the safest thing to do for my emotions is to stop. My impulses remind me of how much fun I have with him, how euphoric the sex is and to just keep riding the wave, keep my emotions in check and worry about the consequences later. I suspect I may already be in too deep. How could I want to continue to do something that is so risky? (because I think my will power is super human.) It's like an addiction... You can't force an addict to quit. They have to want to quit. crap. I don't want to yet. Well....I suppose knowing and admitting the truth to yourself counts for something...
nofool4u Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 Part of me knows I'm probably screwed unless there is an oxytocin blocker. The other part of me just wants to have fun and doesn't care or thinks it won't happen to me. So you don't care that you are an accomplice to causing someone else pain? Long as you get yours, right? 2
scatterd Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 (edited) you posted [hoping there was somebody out there that can tell me it's possible to sleep with this person and just have fun.] Yes its possible to sleep with this person and just have fun.But that depends on weather you think helping a man lie, hide, cheat and hurt his wife and child is fun.Why cant fun be sleeping with a single man that wants the same thing as you.This is not going to end in innocent fun now is the time to end it you had your fun if you continue people will get hurt including your self.Step back and look at the big picture listen to the people here that have lived and tried that. their is alot of broken hearts here.Be one of the smart ones that listens to others and dont learn on the hard way on your own.You will save tears and years.Please dont let it go any further stop while your a head.Respect, Love and being a good person while partying is a blast! Edited March 13, 2012 by scatterd
nofool4u Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 its almost as like you are now heck bent on doing the opposite of what everyone said and you are going to dig in your heels and have your fun. What comes around goes around. Who knows, maybe the wife will pull a Glenn Close:eek:
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