CainJ Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 I know plenty of people have. I have. Friends of mine have. Family members have. I'm sure that everybody, at some point in their lives, have put an SO/ex on a pedestal. Over time, it's perilous, isn't it?
ThatDudeXO Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 I have. I think the world of my ex, I love her more than my own family. Even after 3 months of breaking up and 2 weeks of NC, I still have her on this pedestal. I wish for one more go but she's no longer in love with me, or so she claims. I'm trying to take her off this pedestal but it seems so hard when we connected so well.
Cracker Jack Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Worse. I've put women I wasn't even dating on a pedestal.
Mr. Savage Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Mike Tyson once said "I dont put no one up on a PEDICURE" He meant pedestal. 3
FrustratedStandards Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Guilty. I have put my ex on a pedestal many times. The reason being he offered me things that I find are very very important in a relationship (great chemistry) and this varied from the sex, to the conversation to overall compatibility. I haven't since met anyone with whom I am as [everything] with, and for this reason my ex retains this status. When you have something good, you always compare everything to it, because you want to move on and move up, not the other way around. I've since realized that it was a silly thing to do, because although he had these great qualities, we broke up for a reason. I haven't met anyone who measures up yet, but I try to look on the bright side and see it as time for me.
Feelin Frisky Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I think it's unavoidable. We always fall for our beliefs of what or whom someone is because we CAN'T know who they are until they've revealed that to us under the tests of time and come all what may. So, "pedestal" is a fair metaphor for who floats your boat at any given time. Usually that person will manage to lower themselves from it.
FrustratedStandards Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 I think it's unavoidable. I'm going to pull a Sheldon here. It's "inevitable".
Author CainJ Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 I did with my ex. After the relationship ended, I ignorantly blamed myself for its demise. I thought about all the great things about her instead of remembering the horde of negative things she also had about her. I've recently stopped, but I've still managed to put her past self on a pedestal, the way she once was (she's changed. People change. It's a natural part of life) and I've truly glorified who she once was, even though she's different (honestly, in a negative way) now. My Achilles heal is comparing new girls to the way she used to be, and it's not a fair comparison, but it's almost a subconscious comparison sometimes.
carhill Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 It's only happened a couple of times in my life but, yeah, perilous to one's self-esteem and sanity would be a relevant description IME. I tried it once recently, as more of a science experiment, and could clearly see the unhealthy qualities of the psychology. Life's about learning.
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