joshsmith8110 Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 To keep it short met a girl, I then started dating girl, now i am engaged to the girl and the girl learned how to nag. We dont live toghther as an FYI, were also in college. She is 24 and im 26. She nags about stuff and then when i respond counters my response and nags and nitpicks those words. For example...I wanted a small wedding immediate family only. But decided when we were on the phone talking that she could invite her 2 friends she wanted. I said you can invite those 2 friends you wanted and she was happy she could. I then said perhaps I'll invite somene and she said in a condescending tone. "who you going to invite some random person?" I say no I think I'll invite either Josh or Kevin. she responds laughing. " Josh or Kevin you barely even talk to those guys anymore or even hangout with them." I say well Kevin I see at work and hang out every once in awhile and Josh I have lost contact, but he use to be a very good friend and i talk with him on occasion. She responds condecending and laughing. " Yea and how often is talking on occasion to Josh every 3 months?" God suck the life out of me.......you see it started with a subject and no matter what i said she had a rude nagging/nitpicking counter response to it... I am thinking of not playing the game. When she nags if i respond she wil counter and continue to nag. So perhaps I just agree and go about my buisness and not give her something to nag about. Example would be When she said You barely talk to Josh or Kevin. I just agree by saying your right I dont talk to them as much as i use to, but having them at the wedding be nice still. How do I stop the nitpicking/nagging or avoid it?
Philosoraptor Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Communicate to her that you are unhappy with her tone. If she is unwilling to work with you then find someone who doesn't have the need to nag?
Author joshsmith8110 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 I have communicated with her and well her form of communication is playing with a pillow on the couch or watching tv. She has yet to this day actually faced me and had an adult conversation. When i tell her and talk to her about her nagging. She thinks it is an attack on her. And i am a patient guy i say it in a quiet, calm voice. I even told her if you need to nag babe. HOw about instead of saying rudly why didnt you do it this way. How about you be calm and just say hey hunny! could you have possibly done it this way? Now that i told her i woudlnt get defensie to because i am being treated with respect. All she says to me is well if your unhappy with me you can just leave me then. I think perhaps i need to put my foot down and get my manhood back. Show her who is boss. Like the man i was in the beginning. But in the meantime how do you suggest i stop the nagging/nitpicking? I think dont let it get under my skin and dont let her see it bothers me. On top of just agree and smile about it.
Philosoraptor Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Ah, I had one of these. The solution was to start dating emotional adults. Life is much much easier that way. I now loathe passive aggression. When she says you can leave you should take the offer. It will be the best choice for your own mental health.
syke Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 You cannot. It is up to her. You can bring this to her attention, as you did, and it is up to her to then make appropriate changes. If you see no change, you know what to do. Just remember you are going to spend the rest of your life with this woman.
wilsonx Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Dear idiot men of the forum... listen up! Women NAG to hear themselves talk. Thats it. It probably has nothing to do with you. Say you understand if you understand, stop taking **** personally, grab a beer out of the fridge, chug it, burp loudly and remind her you love her.
2sunny Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 And you're planning to marry her? Aahaha - oh man, you are in for a long life of suffering.
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