mike5770 Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 In December I reconnected with a girl I liked in High School via Facebook. I live in PA she lives in NC and now is divorced with three children. We talked/texted all through Christmas and I decided to visit her on my way home from Florida in Jan. Had the time of my life there her kids loved me she had her mom and grandmom come visit me while I was at her house.(a little odd but hey I was cool with it) They all said I need to come visit again. Went to dinner with her her brother and his wife then she drove me to the airport. We kissed and held hands first date stuff. Well I got on my plane and we have kept in touch hours on the phone. (Never been in a long distance relationship so that is all I had) In Jan I suggested I come down for her birthday which is Monday and we will take another step while celebrating her birthday as well. She said yes and for weeks we were talking about this trip, how we cant wait to see each other, and how her mom loves me so much and her kids. She claims her ex husband is a "Maniac" who stalks and threatens her and most of her life is battling him in court over several issues (sole custody, her alimony, restraining order, etc...) talked to her last Sunday still excited about the trip....then do not hear from her for over a week very unusual. Tuesday rolls around trip was to start today Thursday already booked hotel room I text her if everything was ok and she puts not a good idea for me to come down very sorry! She called me to say waqcko ex may be in a gang and was worried for me then I cut through the bull**** by asking if I was a friend to her or potential b friend.. She says she is confused about her feelings for me (Womanese for you are just a friend). Trip is off I feel like I was shot in the stomach once again as I fell in love with this woman. I should have known better I asked her to prom in High School she said yes then flaked on me like she did this time. WHY DOES IT HAVE TO BE SO HARD!!!
Eddie Edirol Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Its so hard because you fell in love before making sure she was in love with you. You dont do long distance relationships, especially with people with baggage. Start talking to women locally, that dont have drama around them, and dont fall for them until youre sure they fell for you first, and dont fall for them until all the basics are correct. Basics meaning, they arent freshly dumped, they arent communicating with their ex, they are financially independent, and mentally stable. And for gods sake, dont look to facebook to meet women. Do it in person.
Philosoraptor Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Well she just got out of an abusive relationship. In many ways you may have been used as a coping mechanisim rather than anything else. You gave her the attention and support she needed while not making her commit to anything. I'd stay away from this one personally.
Author mike5770 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 You both are very right! I never tried a long distance thing and never will again. I do believe I was used as a shrink for all of her problems. She called again left voicemail "I am sorry I feel terrible...blah blah blah.." I think I will call her back the fifth of never! Thank you for reading my rant and responding this sit always gets me through these things!
g450 Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 So what happened to this: You said: "After 37 years of failure, heartbreak, and disappointment I have decided to give up completely on women and relationships and be single for the rest of my life!" So is this new thing really about love or is it a need for drama? 1
Author mike5770 Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 Well I use Loveshack to vent on here as it is a coping mechanism for me. I felt that way the night I posted that but not now. Don't really understand your question and how that pertains at all to what I posted. I see this board and there are a million similar posts on here.
2sunny Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 She's a gal that lives in the chaos and drama. If you aren't that kind of guy - it won't work...she's used to the "high" she gets from all the $hit she stirs up. She didn't HAVE to participate with her ex - but she loves it. So, a normal guy will always seem boring to HER - even if you aren't boring. Be glad - you dodged a bullet.
g450 Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 Well I use Loveshack to vent on here as it is a coping mechanism for me. I felt that way the night I posted that but not now. Don't really understand your question and how that pertains at all to what I posted. I see this board and there are a million similar posts on here. There was a reason I posted what I did Mike. Werent you JUST out of a breakup where you where the OM? Or do I have the wrong Mike? If you are the Mike Im thinking about then I wonder why somebody whos is in such an emotional mess is introducing yet another woman into the picture and is once again having relationship problems. If that is not you then my apologies. I do tend to follow peoples threads here. It's easy to do when they constantly start new threads. But I am also a human being and make mistakes
2sunny Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 The question remains... Why would you even begin to "love" such an unhealthy woman?
Author mike5770 Posted March 11, 2012 Author Posted March 11, 2012 You are all right on this. Sorry G450 didn't mean to come off as defensive. I guess I was angry at the world when I was posting as I was going through the getting over process. Feel great today ready to move on!
JesseJames Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 It has to be hard because we are worms. We got tired of fearing for our lives every second and evolved. Now that you're a great, big, giant worm with a great, big, giant brain you've more chances to make things harder on youself. blaaaaaagh
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