inicoleist Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Is it normal to keep obsessing over a guy that doesn't want me? We were seeing each other casually for a couple years and he is much older. For some reason I just can't move on and I keep thinking about him and worrying about what he thinks about me. We don't even talk anymore. I just want to know what is wrong with me and why he doesn't like me. Is it normal to keep obsessing over this? I'm 24 and never had an actual boyfriend and it seems like I will never get over him. I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. He is in the process of going after my friend now and I know he sees as many girls as he can at one time. I just wish I was a girl that couldn't care less about guys. I feel so stupid for acting so foolish with him.
LnliHrt Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 When was the last time you had sex? I think good orgasm with a cute guy, will cure you in no time.
nick d Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Are you sure it's just not the rejection that's got you down?
LnliHrt Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Are you sure it's just not the rejection that's got you down? Agreed, when some women want to put in the friend zone and i tell them no thanks i am walking...they back paddle and some sleep with me next day...they feel rejected and they panic and react, out of insecurity...
ditzchic Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Are you sure it's just not the rejection that's got you down? It's this. We've all been there. Rejection blows and it's completely normal for it to bother you. I think everyone has a hard time getting over their first major rejection. The best cure is to meet someone else. Those fuzzy feelings will make the pain of rejection go away. And if it doesn't work out, rejection is always easier the next time around. 1
olivec Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Is it normal to keep obsessing over a guy that doesn't want me? We were seeing each other casually for a couple years and he is much older. For some reason I just can't move on and I keep thinking about him and worrying about what he thinks about me. We don't even talk anymore. I just want to know what is wrong with me and why he doesn't like me. Is it normal to keep obsessing over this? I'm 24 and never had an actual boyfriend and it seems like I will never get over him. I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. He is in the process of going after my friend now and I know he sees as many girls as he can at one time. I just wish I was a girl that couldn't care less about guys. I feel so stupid for acting so foolish with him. Theres nothing wrong with you trust me. Your actually normal as one time or another everyone has obsessed over someone at some point. What you have to understand is that not everyone is gunna like you or share the same feelings in a relationship it just happens. You gotta let those feeling for him go and chalk it up to another expeerience and learn from it. Your still very young and you will meet a good guy i'm sure. You also must learn that you don"t need another person to make you happy or complete. When you feel that way it con sometimes manifest into desperation which can scare someone off. You just have to be yourself and not worry about being in a relationship right now. Just focus on yourself and spend time with your family and friends.
chelsea2011 Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 The fact that he is going after your friend shows he lacks character. That's just plain wrong and you dodged a bullet. Be glad you are rid of the POS...he sounds like a total loser.
nick d Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 The fact that he is going after your friend shows he lacks character. That's just plain wrong and you dodged a bullet. Be glad you are rid of the POS...he sounds like a total loser. I agree with this 100%
Teal Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 There are a lot of reasons people don't want each other, and most of them don't make you an awful person, an undesirable woman, etc. Listening to your account of him, I don't think it's at all surprising that he didn't stick around (assuming he initiated the split). Have you been looking since? Keeping busy?
Author inicoleist Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 Well I ended it a few times when he made me upset but went back because he would keep bugging me. I finally told him I had feelings for him and that I needed to move on. He told me 'you know how I am'. So I ended it. But he still proceeded to text me a few weeks later for sex assuming I would go back cause I did all those other times. Anyways I never went back its been 2 months now. Found out he's texting my friend and talking **** about me..he is trying to get her to lie to me so I won't go to this event. He wants to hook up with her at this event and he found out I'm going and doesn't want me to go. I just feel really stupid over everything and how I kept going back to him but not this time. Now he knows I'm upset over the texts because my friend told him I found out. **** I don't want him to think I'm upset.
Ross MwcFan Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Is it normal to keep obsessing over a guy that doesn't want me? We were seeing each other casually for a couple years and he is much older. For some reason I just can't move on and I keep thinking about him and worrying about what he thinks about me. We don't even talk anymore. I just want to know what is wrong with me and why he doesn't like me. Is it normal to keep obsessing over this? I'm 24 and never had an actual boyfriend and it seems like I will never get over him. I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. He is in the process of going after my friend now and I know he sees as many girls as he can at one time. I just wish I was a girl that couldn't care less about guys. I feel so stupid for acting so foolish with him. It's probably normal for you to feel like this, since you haven't had a boyfriend before.
LnliHrt Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 It's probably normal for you to feel like this, since you haven't had a boyfriend before. Looking at you, it seems you never had a girlfriend before. You two should hook up!
Professor X Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Well I ended it a few times when he made me upset but went back because he would keep bugging me. I finally told him I had feelings for him and that I needed to move on. He told me 'you know how I am'. So I ended it. But he still proceeded to text me a few weeks later for sex assuming I would go back cause I did all those other times. Anyways I never went back its been 2 months now. Found out he's texting my friend and talking **** about me..he is trying to get her to lie to me so I won't go to this event. He wants to hook up with her at this event and he found out I'm going and doesn't want me to go. I just feel really stupid over everything and how I kept going back to him but not this time. Now he knows I'm upset over the texts because my friend told him I found out. **** I don't want him to think I'm upset. First of all it's pretty normal, you obviously had strong feelings towards him, 2nd, the fact you never had a BF before helped a lot getting this obsessed feeling. You say you haven't talked to him, but you should do more, like, deleting him off FB, removing him from whatever IM programs you got, delete his phone number, text history, etc, etc. Lastly, forget about your friend, if she's with him just let her be but go NC with her as well, if she isn't with him, explain to her and tell her nicely to tell him to fu*k off.
FitChick Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Lastly, forget about your friend, if she's with him just let her be but go NC with her as well. Your friend doesn't sound too bright if she knows your history with him and the type of guy he is yet wants to date him.
dasein Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Nothing wrong with you at all, we have all been there. Good news is the first time really busts you up, but also inoculates you for the future.
veggirl Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Is this the grocery store geezer that sleeps with all the young girls? I could be mixing posters up. ETA. Oh, you're new. So I guess it isn't. Sounds familiar though, esp with the texting the friend and him being older. Anyway, I don't think it's normal to obsess for this long, esp over someone who was awful to you. Have you considered counseling? Why don't you meet boys your own age?
BetheButterfly Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Is it normal to keep obsessing over a guy that doesn't want me? We were seeing each other casually for a couple years and he is much older. For some reason I just can't move on and I keep thinking about him and worrying about what he thinks about me. We don't even talk anymore. I just want to know what is wrong with me and why he doesn't like me. Is it normal to keep obsessing over this? I'm 24 and never had an actual boyfriend and it seems like I will never get over him. I just feel like I'm not good enough for him. He is in the process of going after my friend now and I know he sees as many girls as he can at one time. I just wish I was a girl that couldn't care less about guys. I feel so stupid for acting so foolish with him. Sweetie, nothing is wrong with you. Sadly, many women seem to think that if a guy they like doesn't like them the same way, that it means that there's something wrong with her. That is so not true!!! People are just different and have different ideals for their mate. I remember before I got married, I had a crush on this man who I thought was perfect for me (except he was taller than I like) but I was willing to live with it lol However, he only thought of me as his little sister and it crushed me when I finally realized (by him introducing one of his friends to me who liked me) that he would never see me differently. But, I am so thankful that now he didn't like me!!! It wasn't because anything was wrong with me, but because we were not the best match for each other. Now thank God, I have a wonderful husband who is perfect for me, and who thinks I am perfect for him!!! So, please don't worry about "what's wrong with you" Nothing is wrong with you. Some day, you will find a man who will make you understand why it didn't work out with this guy. Many women go through this, but please understand that it just means that people are different, not that anything is wrong with you or him.
FrustratedStandards Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 There's nothing wrong with you, you're just being a girl The fact that you're 24 and have never had a boyfriend or serious relationship is probably what is adding on to your "obsession" about this guy. We were all like that in high school (myself included). I guess once you break that ice, you won't be so crazy about it. There's really nothing to worry about. I wish those were my problems (obsessing over a crush). When you start to really get in depth about relationships, i'm sure even my underdogs can agree that the harsh truths are far less pleasant.
stillafool Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 You did the right thing by breaking up with the old man. Wait a few years and you'll be so glad you got rid of that loser. If your friend wants him after knowing how you feel about him, I don't think I would call her a friend anymore if I were you. Aren't there any young, goodlooking men in your city to date and hang out with?
eleanorhurting Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 You need to cut contact completely. Or else you'll keep feeling in a state of limbo for as long as there is contact. You need to move on. You need space to get over him. Which means you have to cut contact completely. He's not good for you. This. And therapy. I was there and therapy helped get me out of the slum
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