ThatBwoii Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 (edited) Basically i been seeing this girl for 4 months who has also been a friend for most of my life. She told me she wanted to know the truth about her ex so i told her he cheated on her 6 times even with her best friend and now she blames me, said she wished i never told her and that she doesnt wanna know me anymore, oddly she thinks i did outta spite cause i was mad at her :\ What have i done wrong and will she be back? What shall i do at this point? Do i go no contact? Edited March 8, 2012 by ThatBwoii
Ninjainpajamas Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 This is just her reaction out of the sheer overwhelming emotion she feels for finding out someone cheated on her six times, and even with her best friend. It almost sounds like a lie to her, especially since she trusted likely both of these people. The thing you did wrong was you were simply the person that told her and some people can't handle the truth and just react, especially to something they don't want to hear. But it's pretty high up there on the pain level which is probably why she's going to need a while to process this all. A lot of times women want to know things they have no business knowing, and sometimes It's better to tell them regardless of how badly it hurts...for example If it includes your feelings for her. But you kind of took the bullet for just telling her the facts, this is normal as women don't react with their brains, but their emotions. Give her some time and try to check in on her, maybe she's had time to think about it and cooled down. She may still be really angry at you or just angry in general, but tell her the bottom line is she asked, and you told her the truth...not to hurt her, but because she asked. I'm sure she'll come around, don't get all caught up in her reaction. It won't likely stick, hopefully she's able to maturely process that and you were in fact being genuine.
Author ThatBwoii Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 She already knew he had cheated on her once, shes only 19 years old so not fully mature so im not sure whats gonna happen, i am gonna send her a letter and a gift saying next friday saying that i hope it makes you feel better, then the balls in her court after that. Anyone have any input on weather this is a good idea?
LnliHrt Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Be happy that this crazy person left your life. Why would you want to be with damaged, emotionally unstable female, with anger issues? You know sooner or later, she will try to hurt you, for telling her the truth. I bet in 3 months tops, she will come back to you...they always do...
Author ThatBwoii Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 (edited) Be happy that this crazy person left your life. Why would you want to be with damaged, emotionally unstable female, with anger issues? You know sooner or later, she will try to hurt you, for telling her the truth. I bet in 3 months tops, she will come back to you...they always do... by then ill be long gone and not interested, her loss i guess. i also think shes on the rebound still :\ Edited March 8, 2012 by ThatBwoii
reallyhotguy Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Why are you even talking about this? This hasn't nothing to do with your relationship. For now, deal with it, but in the future, change the conversation. I mean that both literally and figuratively. Literally, change the subject. Figuratively, let her feel that that's the past and this is the future, with you.
kaylan Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Seems like shes mad at you for never telling her when she was with him. If youve been her friend for so long she expects you to look out for her, so I understand her being mad. There was thread about this a while back; if a friend should let their good friend know when their partner is playing them. I think a good friend protects their friends, so you maybe should have told her think back then. She is probably feeling like she wasnt her time on her scumbag ex. Either way she should be fine after the shock wears off. Its not your fault what he did. Btw how old are you? You say shes young...I expect you are too since you blabbed about something that was over and done with.
FitChick Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 A perfect example of why you should never tell anyone that you know their boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse is or has cheated. They will shoot the messenger. "No good deed goes unpunished."
LnliHrt Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Just because good deeds are punished, don't mean you should not do them....fitchick is a troll
Author ThatBwoii Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 Seems like shes mad at you for never telling her when she was with him. If youve been her friend for so long she expects you to look out for her, so I understand her being mad. There was thread about this a while back; if a friend should let their good friend know when their partner is playing them. I think a good friend protects their friends, so you maybe should have told her think back then. She is probably feeling like she wasnt her time on her scumbag ex. Either way she should be fine after the shock wears off. Its not your fault what he did. Btw how old are you? You say shes young...I expect you are too since you blabbed about something that was over and done with. Im 24 shes 19 and i only just found out cause he told me hammered on his bday, hese a local.
Eddie Edirol Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Seems like shes mad at you for never telling her when she was with him. If youve been her friend for so long she expects you to look out for her, so I understand her being mad. Im torn between ^^ this reason and she was looking for a reason to break up with you. Or maybe she cant look at you the same knowing you kept that secret. But truth is, she probably knew it and shes mad at herself for not doing anything about it at the time. ALso, she isnt over him if she is that mad about it. So its better that shes out of your life, she has some healing to do.
dasein Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 This is a "good riddance" type deal, and though it hurts now, you will see it as a blessing sooner rather than later. Disrespectful, irrational people such as your ex should be dumped from your life. In all likelihood, she was using you as a rebound from the ex anyway based on her behavior. Thankfully, she showed her hand and spared you lots of wasted time. Imagine how someone like this would react during a real crisis in life, imagine the unnecessary misery-making drama they will stir up at every opportunity whenever life offers curveballs to either person or the relationship. You don't need such in your life, trust me.
Author ThatBwoii Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 Im torn between ^^ this reason and she was looking for a reason to break up with you. Or maybe she cant look at you the same knowing you kept that secret. But truth is, she probably knew it and shes mad at herself for not doing anything about it at the time. ALso, she isnt over him if she is that mad about it. So its better that shes out of your life, she has some healing to do. It wasnt kept as a secret, i only found out v recently on the ex;s bday. i told her that .
kaylan Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 (edited) Im 24 shes 19 and i only just found out cause he told me hammered on his bday, hese a local. Just take things slow with her. Honestly you shouldnt have even told her this since they are over and done with and she was dating you. Either way, shes 19...so I can relate to you in feeling a maturity gap with someone that age. I could never date a girl more than a few years younger than me. Im 25 and 22 is my cut off because I want someone whos in the same stage of life as me and who is mature. When I was 22 I dated my ex, who was 19, and I felt the maturity gap a lot then even though it was only 3 years. Dating her was more like dating a 16 or 17 year old though, because she lagged behind in a bit of life experience compared to others her age. I feel before our mid 20s, that a lot of maturing goes on year by year before we finally settle into adult hood a bit better. Just take this all day by day, and realize shes young, and what she found out can really take a lot out of a person. I handle things so much differently at 24/25 than I did at 19/20. Just be understanding. It wasnt kept as a secret, i only found out v recently on the ex;s bday. i told her that . If thats the case then I dunno why shes upset with you. Either way it was dumb for you to bring up past hurts and cause her this pain. Gotta be smarter than that bro. If I dated some chick who knew my ex played me, itd be better she not tell me, because Id rather not associate her with bad news regarding my ex. You feel me? Edited March 8, 2012 by kaylan
Author ThatBwoii Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 Just take things slow with her. Honestly you shouldnt have even told her this since they are over and done with and she was dating you. Either way, shes 19...so I can relate to you in feeling a maturity gap with someone that age. I could never date a girl more than a few years younger than me. Im 25 and 22 is my cut off because I want someone whos in the same stage of life as me and who is mature. When I was 22 I dated my ex, who was 19, and I felt the maturity gap a lot then even though it was only 3 years. Dating her was more like dating a 16 or 17 year old though, because she lagged behind in a bit of life experience compared to others her age. I feel before our mid 20s, that a lot of maturing goes on year by year before we finally settle into adult hood a bit better. Just take this all day by day, and realize shes young, and what she found out can really take a lot out of a person. I handle things so much differently at 24/25 than I did at 19/20. Just be understanding. If thats the case then I dunno why shes upset with you. Either way it was dumb for you to bring up past hurts and cause her this pain. Gotta be smarter than that bro. If I dated some chick who knew my ex played me, itd be better she not tell me, because Id rather not associate her with bad news regarding my ex. You feel me? yer but what do you think is the best thing i can do to try sort the situation
loversquarrel Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 That was pretty stupid to bring something up about her ex that didn't involve you....that being said, you should consider yourself fortunate to be rid of her. She is obviously rebounding and doesn't like you all that much anyway. If she thought highly of you she would not have reacted in this manner.
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