loveydove Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 My boyfriend of seven years literally went from having a feeling that no matter what, we would make it through, to having a gut feeling that something was wrong in 6 months' time. How does that happen? He just broke up with me over this feeling that he still can't describe to me? I don't understand what it is, and if it is temporary or if something like this is probably permanent. But its breaking my heart. Please let me know if you have any experience with this!!
Kamila Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Seven years and now he has a gut feeling that something is wrong ? Did he tell you what it is ? I would go low contact and let him reach out to you for a period. If it appears that he has another woman, go no contact. If not, let him communicate to you about his feelings and so on and if he gives you no real answer, or a 'I don't know' answer, go no contact. That way you can start healing and work on your post break-up. My ex-bf had a 'I have doubts about us' moment a year after we dated. I gave us another chance, but his insecurities just heightened. He wasn't happy, and there was nothing I could do to make him happy. In those cases, you just have to let the one you love go.
ChrisMac Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Amazing how this always seems to happen at seven years...
Kamila Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Someone told me that every 7-years we hit a maturity mark in our lives. That's why maybe some big life altering decisions happen every 7-years ?
Philosoraptor Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 People minimize the reasons when trying to soften the blow. There may have been many things he was unhappy with but never took the time to verbalize. This is his cross to bear as the issues were likely not brought to light as many expect you to read their mind rather than being able to communicate in a positive manner.
CaliBabe Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 7 year mark for me as well. I hate to say it, but it's possible it can be another woman. It probably was for my case. Either way, keep it moving girl, plenty in the sea. 1
Better_Days Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Sorry that you are going through this. Same thing happened to me 3 days ago, my ex ended 3yr relationship and told me that she was bored and not happy and was never happy all 3 year. Then I found out it was another guy. I'm not gonna lie, 7yr is a long time and to end it over "gut feeling" does not seem right to me. Sorry to tell you what you don't want to hear but it could very well be another girl. Better_Days
Author loveydove Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) It's weird, I know you guys could be right, but he's always been brutally honest with me, and I don't feel in my bones that it is, although like I said, it's certainly not impossible, although I wish it could be. His career is taking off right now, and took us really far away from each other. He keeps saying he doesn't want to feel this way, I'm afraid he just doesn't have feelings for me anymore : ( how does that happen? after so long. Edited March 9, 2012 by loveydove
Author loveydove Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 Ok, so an update. it's been about 2 months since the breakup and I saw him this weekend. He says he still loves me, hasn't even thought about dating anyone else, but he doesn't know if he is supposed to end up with me, and I deserve to be with someone who is sure. ...I think it is GIGS. : ( I don't get how you love someone, miss them, don't want anyone else, but just don't know if you still want to marry them?
gibson Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 It's GIGS.... Read through the entire GIGS thread and many others that I (homebrew/gibson) have posted. I am not sure if you have seen the one below but check it out too. Dumped by someone with G.I.G.S.? All your Questions are Answered within this thread! 1
leoc1973 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 I had this twice. 6 1/2 years and again with another relationship after 6 years. I read somewhere about a soceity or country that you have to remarry every 7 years or walk away. I can't find it for anything on google but I am sure I have read about it before. Yeah its gigs. He's prolly getting some sort of attention from other girls. Even if he isn't taking them up on the offer the feelings of what else is out there are still there. I say go out with someone new and you will see how fast his gut feeling goes away but make him work for it! When he comes begging and crying back tell him you are not sure anymore. He needs to value you again instead of thinking of you as whats holding him back from other women. I always ask this and I know it sound shallow but....have you gained weight? let yourself go? Love is love but there still has to be attraction to keep it up.
Author loveydove Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 No, I haven't let myself go at all...especially after the break up I've never worked out so much. I am a dancer, and naturally thin anyhow. But when I saw him this weekend, I know I looked good, and he was visibly nervous. Thanks for your advice I really appreciate it!
leoc1973 Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 oh ok so he does have to consider the possibility of other men hovering around. That is great! Stay away from him. My 2 ex's that I did this with both started dating again and I went nuts trying to get them back. I know you might not wanna take that rout but its your best bet. If he truely loves you I promise it will snap him out of it. 1
Author loveydove Posted April 11, 2012 Author Posted April 11, 2012 thanks : ) and even if he doesnt come back...it will probably help me to move on. Thanks for the help, i really needed it tonight!
Eddie Edirol Posted April 11, 2012 Posted April 11, 2012 Ok, so an update. it's been about 2 months since the breakup and I saw him this weekend. He says he still loves me, hasn't even thought about dating anyone else, but he doesn't know if he is supposed to end up with me, and I deserve to be with someone who is sure. ...I think it is GIGS. : ( I don't get how you love someone, miss them, don't want anyone else, but just don't know if you still want to marry them? He knows what the reasons are for losing his attraction to you, but he cant risk telling you, because you might not wait for him otherwise. He is basically saying he doesnt feel that you are the one, but he cant find anyone better at the moment, but he wants to find someone better. Once they tell you that you deserve to be with someone better, then they totally lost it for you.
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