mixwell Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Long story short, I met this girl from China through my friend who had only met her slightly before that. Bottom like is we've been on 3 dates and she moved about 6hrs up North in CA after the week of hanging out. She then went to Chicago with her family for 2 wks where she's currently at for vacation. We still talk on the phone often and up to over an hour often but she seems like she really misses me and wants to be back in LA near me. She called me today saying she was at the airport trying to fly to LA. She supposed to be in Chicago till the 19th but is randomly just wanting to fly to LA because of some fight she had. She said she has a place to stay but this irrational behavior is leaving me confused. It's within a matter of less than a month she moves from Los Angeles to Sacramento.. then goes to Chicago a week later and now she wants to move back to Los Angeles. She never wanted to leave LA but she didn't really have anyone here so she kinda had to move because of her family... I don't know if her only motive is to be close to me or just back to where she lived in general. I'm worried that as often as we talk she is way too into me but I find myself actually missing her as well. I'm just thinking for future reference with her irrational actions if this should be a red flag. I don't want to get stuck with a psycho clingy chick I guess. Any ideas ?
FitChick Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Does she have a job or is she from a wealthy family so can come and go when and where she pleases?
Author mixwell Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 Does she have a job or is she from a wealthy family so can come and go when and where she pleases? Well she doesn't have a job, she doesn't have a green card.. I found out basically like her aunt and uncle are trying to basically force her to marry someone for citizenship in the US which was why she went to Chicago but she's like Fk that I dont want to do that.. I talked to her again after this and she's going to come to LA next week.. I will be in NY but she's staying a week and I told her she can stay with me a week once she gets back and then take the bus back to Sacramento. Basically she can come and go per se because if she bought a ticket to come see me from greyhound it's only $50 bucks which i told her if she wanted to make the trip in the future id cover 1/2 the cost which isn't much... I could be acting naive in the sense that I feel that she does like me but she always gives me nothing but praise in the sense of how I always give good advice and she thinks im attractive but sometimes she will say she "needs vor wants me badly" which I feel is legit but still I just don't know this chick at all.. Sure I could say Fk it move back to LA and stay wit me but i know logically it wouldn't be the wise choice. For all I know hell she could be the girl of my dreams but only after 3 dates it's hard to judge. It seems like I always have bad luck with females in the sense that I find one that I really like and they have some BS or drama attached to them. I've had a 7 year relationship when I was younger and never lived with her because I was quite young still, to me it's still hard to pull the trigger and say Fk it.. If i proceeded to see this chick for a longer duration and she seemed cool i could see having her stay with me or move wit me but at this stage no way. I guess I will see more of what's up when she comes back to LA and after I get back from NY since I told her she can stay at my house for the week but I hope she's just not too clingy and basically the red flags are in what she says about me being her shelter and having such good advice. I don't want a female that has to rely on someone else to be "stable" basically but I don't know her well enough to conclude that ideal.
Mister Ripley Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 She sounds extremely high maintenance and needy...and you sound like you like needy woman.
Nwabudikhe Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 It sounds like you're in for a long bumpy ride on this one. She's going to need a strong man to keep her sane, so I hope you're either more than up for the task, or willing to let her go. She might not be crazy, she might just be in a really rough situation in her life. Still, you're going to have to deal with her family, her inner conflicts, some drama and probably some drastic decisions on her part that you will have to counterbalance with your reason and your 'good advice'. It's up to you to decide what's worth it to you.
LnliHrt Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 You should brake up with the crazy illegal alien. Nothing good will come of it, specialy if you get her pregnant....
carhill Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 I'd reconsider the relative rationality of allowing an essentially unknown person to stay in your home, ostensibly because you 'like' her after a couple of dates. Everything isn't always as it seems. Some people live in the moment without thoughts of the future or real perspective on how they affect other people. It's a lifestyle. If you find yourself drawn to such people and consistently observe the results to be unhealthy for yourself, it's time to take a hard look in the mirror and observe the commonality in those dynamics; you. Good luck.
zengirl Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Personally, I would not date someone who had no independent means to stay in the country and who was being encouraged to look for a GC marriage. Particularly if she's Chinese and that's what her family is encouraging. Sounds like a bad situation. Even if she is a great person, she doesn't have the tools to carve out her own life and make her own decisions yet.
FitChick Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 You should brake up with the crazy illegal alien. Nothing good will come of it, specialy if you get her pregnant.... Never thought I'd agree with a troll, but hell must have frozen over. If she wants a green card there is nothing to stop her from having an "anchor baby" to stay in the country. A very expensive mistake for you if you have to pay child support. 1
LnliHrt Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 I used to be a troll...then I took an arrow to the knee.
Jynxx Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 She's not into you, there's no attraction and yet you're offering to pay for the result of her irrational behaviour? You think she will respect you for that? She'll think of you as a doormat and she wouldn't even be wrong, move on with your life and learn from your mistakes. 1
Author mixwell Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 She's not into you, there's no attraction and yet you're offering to pay for the result of her irrational behaviour? You think she will respect you for that? She'll think of you as a doormat and she wouldn't even be wrong, move on with your life and learn from your mistakes. What brings you to the conclusion she's not into or attracted to me ? She's always contacting me and telling me all this positive crap. I've told her pretty much there is no way in hell I would marry a chick for a GC in a casual conversation telling her it's not right and I'd never do it but she's still interested ? The way I'm most likely going to go about it is have her stay with me a week while she's here and then shes gone. I doubt anything serious as far as a relationship is going to develop and I am a realist so I will use the time she is here for um fun... To the person asking if we had sex, no we haven't but that was because she was on her rag or else we would have.. We've done other things but I will make sure to double bag it
Jynxx Posted March 11, 2012 Posted March 11, 2012 What brings you to the conclusion she's not into or attracted to me ? Well, this: To the person asking if we had sex, no we haven't but that was because she was on her rag or else we would have.. She was on her period yet was craving sex with you so bad that she decided to move 6 hours away without getting any rather than wait a couple more days and have sex? Does not compute. I'm not saying there wouldn't have been a chance of you 2 hooking up given slightly different circumstances, just that it's obviously nowhere near the top of her priority list.
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