University_girl Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I am in college now, and I thought I made some really good friends. I considered these two girls to be my best friends here, but as time went on, that proved to be wrong. We were so great with each other, we got an apartment together for next school year! Due to petty drama that they cannot get over, they have been extremely cold and rude to me. I'm going through so much right now with things back at home (recent death of someone dear to me), and they got mad at me for being upset about that because we were at a concert. I was apparently in the wrong for being upset, because quote, "You knew we were looking forward to this night for a long time. You know this was supposed to be one of the best nights of our lives, and then you became upset." I tried my best to enjoy the concert, and I tried not to ruin their night. I really did. They turned me down when I truly needed them. A true friend sticks with you through thick and thin. I have now realized they are not for me, and I am only dragging this friendship along, and it's obvious it's something they do not want. I have given them a few weeks, and they are still cold. I finally found someone to replace me in my lease and I am going to attempt to cut it off tonight. Thing is, I am unsure of this decision, as I am holding on to how we were. They have done so much for me in the past, I seem to be stuck in it. But, I know they are no good for me. I have to let go, but I have a fear of regretting this in the end. I just know I'm going to be extremely upset once I cut them off, because of the past. It really hurts me that they shut me out, just like that. How do you know when you are truly ready to let go?
quankanne Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 maybe it's not so much a letting go, but redefining your relationship with these girls. Though, I've got to say, it's a pretty schxtty response they gave you, knowing you were grieving about the loss of your friend. Maybe they didn't know how to handle it, and therefore reacted this way; however, it seems like they didn't care enough about you to give you what you needed. frankly, easing out of a relationship like that is probably the best thing for you, because obviously, they don't "get" it, they don't understand how to give of themselves when a friend needs it most. I'm so very sorry for your loss, U-girl ... I hope your memories of your special friend will bring you joy when you need it most. hugs, quank
Leigh 87 Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 You could be up front with them? Say - look, I cannot help that my friend died, I was very uspet, and I need my friends to be there for me, no matter what. AFter that incident with the concert, I am movinng out, and I honestly wish u the best. I am mature enough to remain civil to u, I am better than gossiping and being mean about u two behind your backs 1
Nancy B Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 (edited) That is a really selfish way they treated you. I'm so sorry for your loss. Your grief and trying to comfort you should be their primary concern. They really let you down as friends. Perhaps moving out will make them see this, and hopefully they see the err of their ways and offer a HUGE olive branch in the future. It that is what you wish for. Good luck. Edited March 9, 2012 by Nancy B used a wrong word instead of comfort!
rickys Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 This was not the good way to treat you. You must move on from your friendship. Go in front of them and tell that you are not going to take this burden...
whichwayisup Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 They weren't 'true' friends to begin with because real and true friends wouldn't be treating you badly like they have. Trust me, it's THEIR loss. They are too immature and one day they'll realize that petty sh.it doesn't matter in the jist of things in life.
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