Eternal Sunshine Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I am doing a lot better now. In many ways, I feel that the whole relationship never happened. I am back to my old self and back to my routines. Emotional cloud is lifting and I feel like the relationship and ex weren't a good match for me and I should have left earlier. I am in a good mood for the most part. Having good friends helped a lot. They were there when I needed them the most I took on a couple of new hobbies: going to writing classes and dancing (actually going to dancing classes not dancing in clubs I met guys (in real life) nearly every time I went out. Probably more than I ever have. I had no real interest in any of them except for one. I saw his profile on OKC and I got excited (which never happens). He is cute, smart, interesting and shares just about my every interest. I wrote to him and we have been corresponding back and forth for weeks. We are meeting up tomorrow!!! It's just a coffee and I am not getting my hopes up Still have some occasional moments of sadness, usually when I remember something good about my last relationship. But I generally feel like world is my oyster! 7
ThatDudeXO Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Well done So happy for you. You have gotten to where I want to be! I think I'm feeling like I am actually making progress but still missing my ex a little. Do you have any friendly tips to help me get where you are?
jus d'orange Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 ES, This is really great to read! Just keep the momentum going as you move forward; don't forget how good it feels to be independent and self-reliant, even if you start a new relationship at some point.
GKM Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Thats so great Im getting there, but its only been 3 weeks so Im not there fully yet! I need my new roomie to move in so the house feels less empty, and to keep moving forward in life and I cant wait to be as healed as you!
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 Well done So happy for you. You have gotten to where I want to be! I think I'm feeling like I am actually making progress but still missing my ex a little. Do you have any friendly tips to help me get where you are? For me it really helped that I found out the ex is seeing someone else already (and quite seriously too, he takes her everywhere with him). It's hard for me to have feelings for someone that doesn't give a s... about me. He also showed absolutely no signs of missing me in any way (100% NC). When I tried to contact him, he was cold, distant and insulting. He was actually kind of cruel and brutal. I also slowly realized how unhappy I was for the last few months of the relationship. Everybody now tells me how I wasn't myself for a long time. I simply don't want to go back to feeling that stuck/unhappy.
tornangel Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 Wow , awesome post : ) I am excited to start getting back to my old self tooo : ) Thanks for sharing ... 2
Star Gazer Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 The world *is* your oyster! Yay! Just know that you will still likely have set-backs and moments of sadness...but that's all they are: moments. Temporary. You're making great progress. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 how was the date? Actually it went pretty great. He seemed a bit shy/nervous but he was much more attractive in person. Conversation flowed for 2 hours because we just have that natural conversatonal chemistry. I would definitely want to see him again, but am not sure if he feels the same. He didn't suggest anything at the end of the date. I texted him this: "Hey, thanks for the lunch I really enjoyed chatting to you and hope to get to know you better :)" Him: "Same sorry if I seemed quiet and aloof, didn't mean it at all. The curse of introverts lol" ----- This was it. The ball is now in his court. I really REALLY hope he asks me out again. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 9, 2012 Author Posted March 9, 2012 BTW, if this guy is a no go, there will be more. I am not going to priorotize finding a relationship at this point in my life.
GKM Posted March 9, 2012 Posted March 9, 2012 BTW, if this guy is a no go, there will be more. I am not going to priorotize finding a relationship at this point in my life. Good on you I feel the same! Im dating two guys right now and I dont really mind if they stay or leave etc as I am NOT about relationships or expectations right now! That way I wont be hurt, but I will have fun 1
ThatDudeXO Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Good on you I feel the same! Im dating two guys right now and I dont really mind if they stay or leave etc as I am NOT about relationships or expectations right now! That way I wont be hurt, but I will have fun That is the female version of me, except I still love my ex. Hopefully that fades away!
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 10, 2012 Author Posted March 10, 2012 (edited) The OKC guy contacted me today and wants to see me again I need to tell him that I want to take things really slowwww. I am certainly not ready to jump into anything right away. But yeah, I am quite attracted to him Edited March 10, 2012 by Eternal Sunshine 1
KissingItBetter Posted March 10, 2012 Posted March 10, 2012 Fantastic! Now you got more time to be more successful in your endeavours. But yeah having someone beside you makes everything more successful and inspiring. But what is a relationship if you are not happy with it. Kissingitbetter | Facebook
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 New guy didn't pan out...but I am still doing really well and feel reasonably content and at peace about 90% of the time. Sometimes you can't even see how unhappy you are in a relationship until you are out of it. I somehow imagined that being single again will be the worst thing ever but it is truly not. I have been NC with the ex for 13 days now and it's been 6 weeks since the break up. My last words to him were F-you and F-the friendship. I don't even feel tempted to contact him anymore. My friends tell me that to them our relationship seemed like something out of "Days of Our Lives"
denise_xo Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 That sounds good, ES - I'm happy you're feeling better
Leigh 87 Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 Your last b/f sounded like a terrible person. Cmon - no NICE or WORTHY guy, tells their g.f their too fat or that they ar enot passionate about them, because your not " hot". Plz, try to seek out QUAITY guys next time, not major jerks. SO glad that your not hung up on such a nasty loser.
GKM Posted March 16, 2012 Posted March 16, 2012 I finally had the guts to talk to the firefighter/paramedic and tell him I had just got out of a serious relationship (on our second date). He was very cool with it, and asked if I wouldnt mind telling him about the end. And then he was sympathetic and we discussed the weirdness of how intimate you become with someone and then they treat you like a stranger and you BECOME strangers....anyway, he talked to me about his exes and it turns out the main thing they broke up with him about is that after a year or so he wouldnt committ more (ie marriage) he said he wants to feel its really right etc and so I think he was elated when I told him I dont have any major goals right now and want to keep things casual He is also a Sagitarrius and they need their space (Im an Aries and need mine too- so this could be great!) Im going to a firefighters ball with him on Saturday (my first ball lol!) Still need to let the vet know about the breakup...its so nerve wracking bringing it up!! 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted March 16, 2012 Author Posted March 16, 2012 Heh, sounds exciting. The becoming stranger thing is the worst for me. It's a concept I still can't quite grasp. Just losing that person that you talk to every day about anything... As for bringing up the break up, I went on dates with 4 different guys (nothing panned out). I avoided saying that I am temporarily living with my parents (due to moving out of my ex's place). or saying how recent the break up was. I brought it up on one date and the guy just kept saying "woah, you just moved out. really? less than a month? woah man" At least those dates show you that there are other people out there. I am still open to casual dating - nothing serious though.
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