Whisky1981 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Ok I am just going mad....I just dont know if she is throwing some signs at me or is she just polite or shy or not talkative or quiet... I met her at dance classes 1 and a half month ago. I fell for her in like a second but I am not the type of a guy that will throw himself at her if she dosent show any signs....and I usually need a lot of signs . So I am asking you for help. First of all she seems very shy and introvert at least around people that she dosent know also she seems a calm kind of girl not the one dancing at clubs every suterday. So things become even more complicated. Ok lets see why I think she is interested: 1. She is always smiling at me (she may be just polite) 2. 2 weeks ago the dance class organized a road trip...first she said she is not going then after a few days she called me if I still am interested in going on this trip so we went on this trip and spent the whole day together. 3. On the road trip when I offered my hand in her support she gladly accepted and that went on for quite a while (she was wearing high heels so she really may have needed that hand ) 4. When I sent her photos from the road trip she commented the photos with this words (3 out of 10 photos were where we were on the photo together): "Hey thanks for the photos, they are beautiful. We really are cute." And then some blah blah. 5. When we came back from the road trip I kind of sensed like she was waiting for something on our way home...but I really couldnt tell...when we said good night she said it in a really soft way...hm I really cant translate that in english something like sleep tight but more childish. 6. Last week I brought her tea on the dance lessons because she said that she was not feeling well and she thought se had caught a cold...she seemed really surprised and thanked me...later that night she texted me and said thanks for the tea it really is good and wished good night to me. So now the things that really puzzle me: 1.SHE IS NOT TALKATIVE....that is a bad sign isnt it? If I dont initiate a conversation she almost wont do it and the scene will reamain quiet...so I usually start talking some bull**** after a few minutes and believe me I really dont have anything to say anymore . 2.She dosent seem to seek eye contact when I am not looking at her at least I still didnt caught her looking at me. OK I know this all seems childish but really I dont want to ruin anything between us because I have to dance with her for another month. On the other hand I really like her and would really like to bring things on a higher level. So people (especially girls - because the guys will tell me to make a move and that I am an i***t because I dont do it) what do you think should I make some kind of move or not? Thanks for your answers!
sid3 Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Why not give it some more time. People always seem to be in such a hurry, patience isn't a bad thing.
Real36 Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 I like Sid3's suggestion. Just be patient, go slow and see how it goes. You have another month to figure it out
Author Whisky1981 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 Thanks for the answers. The thing is that I know of a great theatre show coming on in two weeks but is not in our town (it is a 100km ride out of town). I thought of inviting her on that show because I know it is great. Would that be too much of a step to do right now?
PrincessPeach Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 As far as making a move... yes, I think you should do it. I think she likes you, or has definitely thought about it. You can wait until closer to the end of the month if you wish, patience is okay, but don't wait too long. Un-reciprocated attraction will eventually pass. However, "making a move" is not asking her to some theatre show. Making a move is going right in there and kissing her. Don't ask for her permission or anything, just do it. If it turned out to be the wrong thing, you'll know afterward and can apologize if necessary (though it doesn't sound like it will be necessary ). Asking could indicate you aren't really sure if you want to kiss her, and she could pull away. She might be sure of you until you are unsure of yourself. Try to kiss her before going on anything super datey. She might think your intentions are just to be friends if you do this. It's hard to mistake a kiss with just wanting to be friends. You've both known each other a while. You dance with one another... I'm guessing every week? It sounds like you've talked on the phone, etc. So you aren't strangers anymore. I'd say make a move before too long.
Author Whisky1981 Posted March 8, 2012 Author Posted March 8, 2012 Thank you for you answer! This really gives me courage to go on with her....I guess now I just have to create the right circumstances to make this move. Thank you again!
Author Whisky1981 Posted March 14, 2012 Author Posted March 14, 2012 Ok...so I tried to move on a little with this gir and now she said to me that she is back with her ex. Hmmmm...I just dont know was she only checking if she had other options or is she keeping me as an alternative if things go bad with the ex??? I dont understand it. She was definitly throwing some signals at me...as described above. So I will keep seeing this girl for another month then I dont know. We exchanged phone numbers and emails so I guess some kind of touch will remain. Should I give up hope completly or can I still hope for something? I really like this girl.... .
sid3 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 There is no reason for you to believe there's any hope. I doubt she is considering you as an alternative if things go bad with her ex. It's more likely you were stroking her ego.
Author Whisky1981 Posted March 14, 2012 Author Posted March 14, 2012 There is no reason for you to believe there's any hope. I doubt she is considering you as an alternative if things go bad with her ex. It's more likely you were stroking her ego. That sounds harsh but I guess you are a realist....so better dont get my hopes up to just be hurt again later. But is hard cause I still have to see her once a week for a month.
sid3 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 Yes I am just being realistic, sorry that it sounded harsh. To sugar coat it and say, sure cling on to hope that she changes her mind about you, would ironically be far harsher, at least to me. Getting over a crush isn't any easier when you still see them occasionally. Time to replace her. I still think you should have given it more time, although who's to say.
Author Whisky1981 Posted March 14, 2012 Author Posted March 14, 2012 Yes I am just being realistic, sorry that it sounded harsh. To sugar coat it and say, sure cling on to hope that she changes her mind about you, would ironically be far harsher, at least to me. Getting over a crush isn't any easier when you still see them occasionally. Time to replace her. I still think you should have given it more time, although who's to say. I didnt really came out on her. I just invited her somewhere and she rejected it saying that she didnt have time due to having plans set for the weekend. After a few days I just asked her about her plans and in the conversation she mentioned that she had plans with her boyfriend (ex boyfriend whom she is seeing again). I got one suggestion from somebody else on the forum that I should not give up all hope because second chances rarely work out. So that I should just wait and see what happens....so that is going trough my mind right now...and you know is hard to shut this down....I would really like to do it amd bury everything because I know I will get hurt again and that sucks big time. Thank you for your answers.
sid3 Posted March 14, 2012 Posted March 14, 2012 There's always hope, question is how much. Yeah I definitely say see what happens.just don't wait.
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