ALombard Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Hey everyone, So here's my dilemma. My ex and I got back in touch around the end of September. I had randomly decided to text her to see how she had been and so we met up and talked. She had just recently broke up with her abusive boyfriend of 6 months and was depressed. The first few weeks were fine. We were friendly and were spending a lot of time together. However, as more time passed I found myself developing feelings for her again. I told her about them and she also reciprocated. Here's where things start going bad. A week or so after we had our talk she told me she was casually dating and sleeping with a new guy. I was hurt but understood that we were not a couple so I found no reason to bitch to her about it. This lasted for 2 months and it drove me crazy because her and I were always together...like everyday, all day, but when it came to intimacy she always had those moments with this other guy. After that ended due to him being immature and an ass we started getting intimate and things started developing faster, ie; she started staying at my house overnight, we became physical, started calling eachother pet names, etc. However, when we would go out in public with mutual friends she would act as if we were just only friends. She ended up having a one night stand 2 months ago, flew to Chicago a month and a half ago to see an old friend and came but infatuated with him. All the while I'm still here stuck in the same rut. We still get intimate and she stills stays at my house 3 to 4 days out of the week. Now my question... I am torn on what to do. Her and I had a talk a few days ago about how I felt. She is starting to talk to another guy that lives an hour away so I got frustrated. I told her that I feel like I am on the back burner, that she is willing to give every other guy out there a chance but me and that it irritates me. She has told me that she doesn't wanna jump into a relationship with me out of fear of hurting me and that she just wants to be single. But! Any new guy she likes she always wants to have a relationship with they just blow her off or are too far away. So what do I do? Do I keep going with it because I do love very deeply, slowly fade myself out of the situation to avoid any future awkward moments, or just tell her I'm over it and cut and run? Seriously this is stressing me out. Thanks.
NopeNah Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Wow man! Do have any self respect? There's no way I'd ever tolerate that..kick her to the nearest curb! 1
RonChalant Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Yea I'm gonna need you to ball up and move on. Your ALLOWING her to treat you this way. She knows your not going anywhere so she's going to do what she wants to do. Take it from me and my past situation...as bad as its going to hurt and as hard as it is, you gotta do what's right for you because she's doing what she thinks is right for her. Don't hand her your balls like that. I went through SOMETHING like the same thing...just not as blatant as your situation, only involved one guy that I just couldn't get her to drop...in the end I got **** over epicly...don't get ****ed over anymore than you already are being already. Put yourself first likes she's putting herself first. You have to ability to take the power back and grab the upper hand. Leave while you can because the second she can, your going to be on the curb
leoc1973 Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 Well I started reading this and I was thinking what a rag. But the thing is this. she is being completely honest with you. You guys are bang buddies but you are getting attached. Can you get other girls? Try that out and see how she responds. This girl definitely has no problem with multiple sex partners. She is enjoying being wild and free. Is she being safe? Is she telling you that you are not allowed to see other women? You can either enjoy the ride and look for someone new or get your heart trampled on. Ya gotta take this relationship for what it is not what you want it to be. Bang buddies and thats all or jump ship and stop seeing her.
flitzanu Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 you said "I told her that I feel like I am on the back burner, that she is willing to give every other guy out there a chance but me and that it irritates me. She has told me that she doesn't wanna jump into a relationship with me out of fear of hurting me and that she just wants to be single. But! Any new guy she likes she always wants to have a relationship with they just blow her off or are too far away." read that again. carefully.
Author ALombard Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 So quick update. After I posted on here my ex and I hung out. I don't know what drove me to see her again, all I do know is that getting lunch with her that day I felt awkward. I felt anxious, angry, and depressed being around her for that hour. To get my mind off things I went out on a date with a girl who I was romantically involved with prior to my ex and I getting back in touch 6 months ago. It was nice. The next day my ex wanted to talk to me about the past few days and how I've been flip flopping about whether I wanted to keep our relationship going down the same path. We went to lunch and talked a little bit just to end up going out that night for a few drinks. She informed me that she had screwed the guy she went up to LA to see, which completely disgusted me. The night went well however. Hung out with my ex this entire weekend to try to see if my resolve was strong enough to let her go. Well Monday, yesterday, she went back up to LA to see her other guy. I decided last night to cut it off. She called me informing me she was in Palm Springs and I just lost it. My reasons for this are as follows; She complains about having no money but makes no effort in finding a job. I actually had an interview set up for her yesterday which I switched to today, which she won't make now seeing as it was more important to go up to Palm Springs then find a job. She has little respect for me. When we would go out she would constantly be on her phone texting, but when she is with other guys I won't hear from her at all. I am always paying for things...always. There were a few times she actually shelled out any cash to pay for something seeing as her parents, who are both struggling, keep her afloat. She told me last night she went to Palm Springs to get away from the stress of life? What stress?! She lives at home, has no job, doesn't have to pay a single bill or rent....that blew my mind. So I blocked her on Facebook, blocked her number from my cell and deleted her contact info. I hope I'm doing the right thing.
JasonRules Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 I read your initial post and if the names were hidden, she is acting like a man and you're acting like a woman. She's just using you as "filler" until she finds someone worthwhile.
JasonRules Posted March 13, 2012 Posted March 13, 2012 She informed me that she had screwed the guy she went up to LA to see, which completely disgusted me. The night went well however. So you were completely disgusted by her, but the night went well anyway. Hmm, I suggest you go to your doctor and have your testosterone checked. Men don't act like you. Start being a man and have some respect for yourself. If you allow yourself to become a doormat, she will just keep walking all over you. Me personally, I wouldn't even give this woman the time of day.
Author ALombard Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 Yeah, I just got a text message from her calling me a psychopath and to never talk to her again. I don't know why but this one girl, the only girl in my relationship history, makes me just feel useless if I'm not with her. I was completely cool until I got that text. She sent me the drunk texts I had sent her so I understand where she is coming from but the thought of completely losing her rips me apart.
Author ALombard Posted March 13, 2012 Author Posted March 13, 2012 I mean seriously what is it about me? I've had plenty of relationships and not one girl has ever got to me like this. I mean I was the one who broke it off last night yet I'm the one sitting at work reeling. Has anyone ever had someone like that in their life?
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