adamant50 Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 So heres the situation. I fell for my best friend after knowing her for years. I started to pursue a relationship with her and I thought we had something started. It seemed to be going really well. I did alot of nice things for her and we talked about being a couple. The problem was she graduated from college not long ago and I still have more schooling left. I am older by the way. She went home, which is 4 hours away from me. Well we had agreed to try to make it work and be honest to each other if we felt the distance was killing it. Now it gets interesting... Well for a graduation gift her grandmother took her on a 2 week tour of Europe. Well, now she tells me that she met someone on the trip. Its the tour bus driver who is from Holland or some ****. So shes all in love with him now or something and chose him over me. Of course she still wants to be friends. I really love this girl and this seems so out of character for her. I would never suspect it. I just dont understand. She even has plans later on to move in with this guy in Holland. Yah. I will see her soon cuz she will be in the area for a few days. Do i try to get her back, be friends, or brush her off???? Hating Sven the bus driver
wideawake Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 You can't make people love you. Let her fly bro, it's all good. You'll find another girl. I know it's easier said than done, but it's still true. You think now that you'll never feel this way about another person. You're wrong. You think that she's perfect for you. You're wrong. You think that this is unfair and sucks. Well, you're right about that one, but that's life. Sorry for the bad news man, hang in there.
Miss_Behavin143 Posted June 8, 2004 Posted June 8, 2004 Hey, I'm sorry to hear this too.. If you feel like you could be friends with her, because of the long past I would be. It may be that you are so disappointed in her or angry right now that you can't be friends right now but maybe you could be eventually. I definitley wouldn't try to get back with her. As bad as that hurts, and I know been there.. my husband has left me for another girl.... but, if she'll do it to you once, she'll probably do it to you again.. you know what I mean? That's not ALWAYS the case.. but most of the time the saying is right.... once a cheater, always a cheater. Even if you were to get back with her.. you have to think about all the baggage you would always have and the thoughts, distrust, etc... I wouldn't try to get back with her. If you feel as though you can be friends, I would be.. if not..... move on.... it won't take long to find someone who will appreciate you and you can trust to go on a European Bus Tour without ya
Author adamant50 Posted June 9, 2004 Author Posted June 9, 2004 Hey thanks for the reply's. I'm debating on trying to get her back. If I do it will be from the standpoint of its her last chance to get back with me. I'm offering, not begging. Miss_B you had some good points. I've been cheated on before to so I'm not quite sure how I'll deal with this yet. I think I'll know when I see her. wideawake, your right this does suck. 2 weeks and its the bus driver from holland. Damn. I'm 4 hours away....he's 3,000 miles. I think she needs a wake up call. Maybe when i see her this weekend it will be. Hatin on Sven
Fritz Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Sounds like the typical "fling" and she's in the "fog of love".
amerikajin Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 You said that you did a lot of nice things for her....like what? I guess the question I have is, has she done any nice things for you in return? I'm wondering if it wasn't always a one-sided relationship. I mean, if you guys were really friends (let alone lovers), I have to wonder why she would just dump you for a bus driver in Holland that she barely met. I'm not trying to be mean, but something tells me your judgment was a little clouded here. I've been cheated on before to so I'm not quite sure how I'll deal with this yet. I think I'll know when I see her. From this statement, I can only conclude that you're probably a nice guy, but at times, a little too nice. Don't ever put up with bulls***. Remember, if you want a woman's love, you first have to have their respect.
amerikajin Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 I think she needs a wake up call. Wrong. I think you need the wake up call. First of all, if she was a friend, she wouldn't have put you in a position to break your heart like that. She would have just told you a long time ago that she would rather remain friends and hope that you'd still be friends with her. Second, if she was truly interested in you as a companion, dumping you for some bus driver she barely met (someone who lives on the other side of the earth, no less) is probably about the last thing she'd do. Come on, dude. Wake up. Smell the morning coffee brewin'. You've been burnt like toast. She's playin' you like a sucka, and you're still trying to negotiate with what little dignity you have left. The way to send a message to her is through your actions. If I were you in this situation, I'd either not talk to her, or if I did talk to her, I'd be very candid. I'd say, you know what, honey, I realize what a fool I've been to even think you'd be worth my time. I've been played like a sucka, but not anymore, toots. Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out. Bye! And once you get that straightened out, it's time to take a good look in the mirror and ask yourself why you keep gettin' played, why women keep s***ting on you. Stop taking it. I'm not saying be a misogynist; I'm saying you should start loving yourself more and stand up for yourself.
moimeme Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 I'm sure I know him. No, but seriously, that poor girl needs somebody to hold her hand. Why do you think tour bus drivers take those jobs? A couple women per trip, that's why. I've taken tours and know other ladies who have taken tours and tour bus drivers are famous for hitting on the guests. You're in Europe, everything's amazing, you're excited about all you see - if you're not wise to the ways of the world, I suppose you could fall for one of these players. She won't have him for long, I guarantee. Now the real question is do you think it would be a good idea to take up with someone with such poor judgment? She could easily fancy herself 'in love' with any dude if the situation is right, it seems.
amerikajin Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Hating Sven the bus driver Sven ain't the problem. He's just taking what's available to him. You'd do it, too, if given the chance. He doesn't know you from Adam, and since there's no ring on "your" girl's finger, there's nothing illicit about the relationship as far as he's concerned. How do you even know that she even mentioned that she had a boyfriend? Sven ain't the problem, your girl is....and you are, too. Your girl's playing you, and you're letting yourself get played over and over again. Stop it. Respect yourself. Just cut her loose and start looking for someone who's going to give you what you deserve. Don't settle for anything less -ever.
UCFKevin Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Damn f'ing right. I would never blame the other guy. He's only human. The girl could easily stop things. It's all on her.
faux Posted June 9, 2004 Posted June 9, 2004 Whatever happens is going to happen. She knows that you are interested, and she will end up making her own decision. Respect her decision, and realize that she has to make it on her own, and there is nothing you can do to change her mind. You do not have to be her friend, but you can keep in touch here and there. Obviously the situation bothers you, and remaining too close to her sounds like a really bad idea. If you have to, call her every few weeks to get updated on her life, but avoid anything about the bus driver. If you don't want to hear her talk about the guy, then please let her know you don't want to hear about it. Otherwise, she's going to chew your ears off talking about him constantly, I'm sure. Additionally, it seems a little nuts that she is going to move to another country to go live with a bus driver. That right there makes me cautious about this girl.
Author adamant50 Posted June 10, 2004 Author Posted June 10, 2004 Well I talked to her. She explained it all so well. How she had no control over what happened, it just did. I still dont get it how she says she really cared for me before but in 2 weeks fell for this guy. Damn, could you do me a little better. She'll pull her head out of the sand sometime and I wont be there. Time to let the door hit her in the ass.
Fritz Posted June 10, 2004 Posted June 10, 2004 Originally posted by adamant50 Well I talked to her. She explained it all so well. How she had no control over what happened, it just did. I still dont get it how she says she really cared for me before but in 2 weeks fell for this guy. Damn, could you do me a little better. She'll pull her head out of the sand sometime and I wont be there. Time to let the door hit her in the ass. Yup fog of "love". Her loss, your gain. Hopefully she'll learn something when she wakes up one morning in Amersterdam, stoned, alone, and no money to get some munchies as Sven has run off.
Recommended Posts