LondonUK Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Hi I'm new here and I am in the UK. Have been separated for six months from my husband and he has filed for a divorce despite the fact that he has done most of the damage. He is having an emotional affair with another woman, he has put me down and criticized me endlessly and I left him to live with my Dad and step-mum but she wants me out - we don't get on. I'm 41 and she thinks I should have found my own place by now. I am looking to buy a flat but its difficult due to me being out of work. I am finding it incredibly difficult to move forward - I have good days when I feel positive and really bad days when I feel like I've been hit by a steam train and I cannot stop crying. We were only married two years before separating - the last year was just one big ongoing arguments about everything and it made me physcially ill so I left him temporarily and he filed for divorce. We have no children, I know the marriage is over but I miss him so much in spite of myself knowing I don't want him back. It's so hard. Can anyone offer some hope? I have just read the 180 list. What is this about please? thanks London
darkmoon Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 180 i think they mean it is half of 360. 360 is the number of degrees in a circle. so turn 180 degrees because the turning puts you on a new direction. i think you are lonely with nobody to understand you where you live, but sometimes before i go to sleep, my bed becomes my Li-Lo and i float and float in the sea til i nod off
Author LondonUK Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 yes it was rental accommodation and I couldn't stand living with him anymore. He filed for divorce soon after and I am not defending it, despite his pack of lies re MY unreasonable behaviour! I have accepted them marriage is over and I am making plans to move forward and rebuild my life. However he called me last week to suggest we go away on holiday together for a week and I am gobsmacked. Clearly I have rejected the idea and wonder why he would even suggest such a thing after all the nasty stuff he has said/done to me, the fact his female friend is more important than his wife, and the fact he has filed for a divorce!!!
standtall Posted March 15, 2012 Posted March 15, 2012 LondonUK, I hope he didn't invite you to go scuba diving or rock climbing, did he?
Author LondonUK Posted March 15, 2012 Author Posted March 15, 2012 No 3 days in worcester and 1 day in Avon followed up eating in bath
Linda Lee Posted March 17, 2012 Posted March 17, 2012 (edited) The divorce is like falling down, in the end you are left hurt, frustrated and scared of taking the next step into the unknown future, alone without your husband in your life. Your husband was the one who broke your heart; he was the reason your life fell apart and the one who made you cry, yet for an unknown reason you still have feelings for him. That's love, despite the fact that he may lied to you, or even criticized you endlessly, you cannot seem to get him out of your mind, and even though you feel like you should get over him, with every tear that falls, it reminds you of how much you are still missing him. If you are truly willing to get your life back, you need clear steps to follow. The truth is following these suggestions will not always be easy, but they will keep the door of chances open to reunite with him again. Give Him Space And Time: Despite the fact that's difficult to keep your distance, it is exactly what you should do. Even if you feel an urge desire to shout at him, that he is being unaware of throwing away a wonderful relationship, you have to hold that in. You have to give him the time and space to miss you. If you insist on pursuing him relentlessly you will only make him angry and thus lose him forever. This is a common mistake that most women do. Improve Yourself: Do not waste your time worrying about your ex-husband, instead concentrate on you. It is the right time to step back and have a deep look at your life, figure out what characteristics you have that may have contributed to the divorce and try to fix them. You should keep in mind that you are not fixing these bad characteristics to please your husband and get him back; you are fixing them to make yourself a better person. You need to show your ex that you can live on your own without him in your life. Show him that you are going to be strong and not fall apart, I know it is hard to deal with your painful feelings. You need to ignore the pain and brag your pride. But it will pay off, when he sees that you survived without him. Edited March 17, 2012 by Linda Lee
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