HurtOne1986 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Hi All, I’m at a bit of a loss here. About ten months ago, I moved into a houseshare with three guys and a girl (my ex now). I got on well with everyone and pretty soon, the girl would visit my room and just have tea, listen to music etc. She works late hours and usually only gets home just after midnight. So things progressed quite quickly and we started sleeping in the same bed for comfort and having someone warm to hold (NO SEX WHATSOEVER), for about 2 months. Eventually we did have sex and we kept doing it like that for about a month, while still sleeping in the same bed every night. I was there for her through thick and thin. I would give her massages after a long day, be a shoulder to cry on (a lot! – she hates her job) and just be there for her. After a while I realised I was falling for her. So I told her how I felt and she said she didn’t feel the same way, but we kept sleeping together. Then a few weeks later I couldn’t handle it anymore. I couldn’t keep sleeping with her and not have more with her, if that makes sense. So I told her we needed to talk that night, and I think she knew that I was going to end everything. She came home and told me that she did want to be with me, so we got together. Things were great for a few weeks, but then she started acting very strangely. She would talk to me like a piece of trash, and always give me sarcastic responses, as if she was irritated with me. I soon realised that she didn’t want to be with me, even though she would not end it. I tried to be great for her but it just got worse. Eventually after 4 months, I ended the relationship, but I told her that we would tell the other housemates that it was mutual and that there were no hard feelings, so that they would not pick sides. She is very insecure about herself, and often would not let me meet her friends for fear that I would “become friends with them and she would be left out”. She has this opinion that the housemates hate her, which is just crazy. Anyway, we kept sleeping with eachother a few times after the breakup, but have since stopped. She cannot muster a single kind word towards me, and its infuriating, because I’ve tried everything to make things non awkward. Worse still, I saw a message on her facebook ( stupid of me I know) 9 DAYS after we broke up, asking a guy friend overseas to **** her brains out. Nine days! They have kept chatting sexually since then. She has slept with 16 guys before me and she is 26 years old. Three of those guys were in the same month, and that was just before she met me. What are your thoughts? I haven’t spoken to her in 4 days now, the longest time so far. I really want to be nice to her, but everyone keeps telling me that she is not worth it. She was nice to me on Saturday for about 5 minutes, but I found out that it was because she wanted help fixing her cupboard. As soon as it was fixed, the switch flipped and she was a b**ch again. What do I do? We live in the same house and I don’t want things to be awkward! But at the same time i want her to feel the pain that she put me through everyday! Help! Thanks
standtall Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 (edited) Women are not attracted to men they don't respect. She doesn't respect you because you allow yourself to be a doormat. Get another girlfriend that fits your personality. Edited March 7, 2012 by standtall
ctes300 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I was kind enough to give my ex-gf the same benefit. it was a mistake. We had sex up till about 2 months before she finally left, only because I thought it was a bad idea. Within a day after spending her last night at my place, she shacked up with a guy she worked with at his parent's house (and she is 35 years old, pathetic). Kick her ass out now. She has no respect for you. Stop being a doormat. You also said she slept with 3 guys plus you in a month...is this the kind of woman you want? save yourself the future trouble and pain - because she's only going to hurt you again. Don't be friends. It doesn't work. If anything you should be using her network to find yourself a new girl, before that dries up. Think of yourself, she isn't thinking of you.
JJ72 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 (edited) Sorry to say but this girl is a hoochie aka slut. You can never get emotionally attached to such a girl. Easy to say, I know. Just have your fun w/ them and that's it. That's the only way you can deal w/ such girls. Lesson learned for the future....I hope. Edited March 7, 2012 by JJ72 *
CC12 Posted March 8, 2012 Posted March 8, 2012 But at the same time i want her to feel the pain that she put me through everyday! What I see is mostly you putting yourself through pain. The only thing you can fault her for is treating you unkindly, which she should not have done. But you chose to keep sleeping with someone who told you clearly that she didn't want to be with you. And you kept sleeping with her even after you broke up. This was your mistake to begin with. No need for childish revenge or anything like that. Treat this as you would any other roommate being a dick to you. What would you do in that situation? You'd probably mostly ignore them, right? Do that. Her sexual past and current sexual activities are none of your business and are not relevant to you at all. I'm not even sure why you included that part, unless you were just looking for people to call her a slut and give you an excuse to feel especially slighted by some shameless whore, or whatever. Also, are those "sexual chats" going on in private messaging? Stop snooping.
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