kaylan Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I wouldn't call that superficial. I wouldnt either. Its normal for men and women to seek out mates who can help provide for household. Its entirely different when we are talking about selecting someone for only that reason. Which means it has nothing to do with the person and is solely about the cash, in which case anyone would have been sufficient if they had the right size pockets.
kaylan Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 (edited) Oh, yes, Soviet girls are much more likely to throw you for a loop than Filipino girls. Very different cultures. Neither bad, but you can't really correlate the two. And, again, this is just generalizing based on socialization, not individual values. Yes you can correlate the two. Poor foreign women throw guys for a loop no matter where the women are from.Something I'm noticing latlely, that if you want a SURE thing, esp if you're a not so attractive man, is you're more than likely to get a Filipina woman to date you than any other type of woman. Again, just something I'm noticing lately, AND.....they don't seem to mind the age differences they seek in a man either. I don't mean to stereotype, but have seen this A LOT lately. My friend, who is probably in his late 40's, recently married a 30 year old Filipina, now in this case, he actually knew her through missionary work, she was stateside on a Visa and they met through their church. After she had went back home, they had been corresponding via email, and he had done some mission work in her country as well. During this time, he did date women locally, but none which seemed to keep his interest. He proposed marriage to her, I suppose via cyberspace, and she flew in. He's known her for a while because they've already worked together personally. But some of his friends were taken aback by his sudden status change to "engaged" and the woman they didn't even recognize through their own local social circles. I saw a picture of them together, he's a nice guy, but indeed overweight and..well...obviously much older than her. She actually gave up having kids with him (because she was wanting children), just to be married to him. They had brief split because of this, but he said since he's already divorced, and has 2 kids in Middle school.....he has no desire at his age to bear more children. She changed her mind and went with his wishes. Anyhow, one day, I'm seeing his FB posts and pictures of his lovely wife and another Filipina friend of hers...also very attractive, early 30's. I asked my married friend about her.....and he said, "Sorry, man, she's married, lol" I clicked on the link of the woman, and it shows a picture of her and this guy, probably old enough to be my own father, snuggling up with him. Hair completely greyed, and probably of a Baby Boomer age. Now are these just green card marriages (some might indeed agree here) or is this culture the least superficial culture? Maternal instincts are strong. I wouldnt be surprised if she leaves him for an attractive dude her age so she can have a family. I mean she already bailed once right? If she can find a dude shes attracted to, and emotionally connects with, who is also younger, wants kids, and will provide for her...she is so leaving this dude. He was simply her ride into the US. Edited March 7, 2012 by kaylan
Crusoe Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Yes you can correlate the two. Poor foreign women throw guys for a loop no matter where the women are from. Maternal instincts are strong. I wouldnt be surprised if she leaves him for an attractive dude her age so she can have a family. He was simply her ride into the US. Divorce is a big no-no in the Phillipines, even if married outside their country, very few Fillipina's will divorce.
kaylan Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Divorce is a big no-no in the Phillipines, even if married outside their country, very few Fillipina's will divorce. I read plenty different online. Or else there wouldnt exist dudes warning other men about this. The wife left OPs friend over the kids thing but came back...you really think she wont bail if she finds someone who connects with her, who provides for her, and also will give her a family? Dont kid yourself.
Els Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I read plenty different online. Or else there wouldnt exist dudes warning other men about this. The wife left OPs friend over the kids thing but came back...you really think she wont bail if she finds someone who connects with her, who provides for her, and also will give her a family? Dont kid yourself. Agreed, in this case.
carhill Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 OP, I think the culture part was incidental to your anecdote and I personally wouldn't draw any inferences from it one way or another. Everyone is from somewhere. 2
Crusoe Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I read plenty different online. Or else there wouldnt exist dudes warning other men about this. The wife left OPs friend over the kids thing but came back...you really think she wont bail if she finds someone who connects with her, who provides for her, and also will give her a family? Dont kid yourself. The internet is a great place to spread fear and b*llsh*t. The old trusted methods of experiencing yourself and seeing with your own eyes are the still the best ways to educate oneself.
batyote Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Actually I was thinking of picking up a chick from Somalia or Afghanistan, some war torn country where people are desperate to get out. Might be a better bet than Filipina women OP. do it. I dare ya.
batyote Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 A good buddy of mine dated a girl from the Philipines. He was kind of a wimpy guy. She lost repsect for him and cheated. A buncha times. A few years later they broke up. Now they just have sex with each other no sstrings attached.
kaylan Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 (edited) The internet is a great place to spread fear and b*llsh*t. The old trusted methods of experiencing yourself and seeing with your own eyes are the still the best ways to educate oneself. Gimme a break. This is a weak way to dismiss the real life accounts of many people. I guess anything I read online is a straight up fallacy simply because I have not experienced it myself huh? Which basically means what you are saying is bullcrap and I dont need to take you seriously. I mean you are on the internet arent you? Get outta here with this ish. Edited March 7, 2012 by kaylan
Kamille Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I think it's ridiculous to put Filippina women on trial when it's the OP who has issues. 2
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I think it's ridiculous to put Filippina women on trial when it's the OP who has issues. I'm pretty sure if you had as much bad luck as the OP you'd have issues too. This guy gets friendzoned, criticized, ditched, and otherwise rejected more than any person I've ever heard of.
xxoo Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I don't know if this is true for in the Fillipina culture, but consider that sometimes a woman you view as young and attractive marries an older American man because she is not considered young and/or attractive enough to find a desirable man (ie: good provider) in her own country. So, no, it does not necessarily reflect a non-superficial culture. 1
carhill Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Actually I was thinking of picking up a chick from Somalia or Afghanistan, some war torn country where people are desperate to get out. Might be a better bet than Filipina women OP. If you want to try one of the 'stans' and don't mind some immersion, Almaty, Kazakstan, would be my suggestion. IME, interesting confluence of middle east, asian and eastern European culture. Most anywhere you go where Westerners aren't commonly seen and/or English isn't commonly spoken, you'll get attention without any overt actions of your own. I recall, many years ago, discovering in such cultures what it must feel like to get attention as women do here in the west. Interesting. IMO, there's really no reason to seek MOB or similar. Just go somewhere interesting and wander around and let things happen. Different aspects of a person are attractive and compatible in different cultures and their individual interpretations. Sometimes things match up; sometimes not. I was mainly pleased with actually meeting single women. YMMV>
Kamille Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I'm pretty sure if you had as much bad luck as the OP you'd have issues too. This guy gets friendzoned, criticized, ditched, and otherwise rejected more than any person I've ever heard of. It still doesn't justify the rest of us being roped into a discussion of the moral values of Filippina women.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 It still doesn't justify the rest of us being roped into a discussion of the moral values of Filippina women. Perhaps. But it's probably a lot more fun and enlightening than another "friendzone" or "the odd women I see online" thread. Of course, one could argue that it belongs more in the "spirituality and religious beliefs" section, than the dating one.
zengirl Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I think it's ridiculous to put Filippina women on trial when it's the OP who has issues. Well, I didn't think they were on trial. I thought we were just discussing comparative cultures and marriage practices. Granted, you cannot take a culture and judge the morals of an entire culture anyway; culture doesn't really work that way, especially since we're all going to approach it from our own culture perspective. Though, yes, the OP does have issues (personal, not cultural).
Kamille Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Granted, you cannot take a culture and judge the morals of an entire culture anyway; culture doesn't really work that way, especially since we're all going to approach it from our own culture perspective. Though, yes, the OP does have issues (personal, not cultural). That's precisely why I find these kinds of threads difficult. We have no choice but to rely on our own culturally-informed assumptions and generally end up discussing stereotypes. All that, when, in the end, it's the OP who refuses to change his world-view of "how women should be" or to work on himself so that he actually gets to enjoy dating.
zengirl Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 That's precisely why I find these kinds of threads difficult. We have no choice but to rely on our own culturally-informed assumptions and generally end up discussing stereotypes. All that, when, in the end, it's the OP who refuses to change his world-view of "how women should be" or to work on himself so that he actually gets to enjoy dating. Okay, I can see that. I've actually found dating in other countries (and seeing the mating culture) fascinating, but I'm not going to pretend this conversation was terribly deep. Would be interesting to have a deeper one, of course. And yes, having any view of how men/women "should be" is going to lead toa lot of frustration.
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 If women didn't friendzone the guy or reject him so much he'd be a lot less frustrated. OP gets so much unnecessary flak it's unreal.
Kamille Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 If women didn't friendzone the guy or reject him so much he'd be a lot less frustrated. OP gets so much unnecessary flak it's unreal. He gives as good as he gets. I refer you to his endless stream of threads critical of women. 3
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Maybe it's a bit tiring for readers (who are free to ignore his threads). But I'm sure for OP it's just as tiring to be constantly and perpetually single. There's a solid core of posters on LS, some might call them the "lovable losers", I call them the "Loveshack whipping boys", who all have problems dating women. And by "problems" I mean, can't even get a date. There are essentially two kinds of responses to this problem: 1) what the OP is doing and b) being overly self critical and self effacing. The former leads to becoming the cat man, while the latter leads to depression and possibly suicide. Given those lovely choices I'm not surprised at the types of threads the OP posts.
Els Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 There's a solid core of posters on LS, some might call them the "lovable losers" I would not prepend 'lovable' to this guy. 1
fortyninethousand322 Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 I would not prepend 'lovable' to this guy. I prefer the term "LS whipping boys" myself. At least that's how it feels.
zengirl Posted March 7, 2012 Posted March 7, 2012 Maybe it's a bit tiring for readers (who are free to ignore his threads). But I'm sure for OP it's just as tiring to be constantly and perpetually single. There's a solid core of posters on LS, some might call them the "lovable losers", I call them the "Loveshack whipping boys", who all have problems dating women. And by "problems" I mean, can't even get a date. First, I agree with Elswyth---not 'lovable' at all---but also, the thing about whipping boys? They don't lash out. Whipping boys "take it." I'm not saying that's better, but I am saying this is a false correlation. The OP does not get criticized because of his failures or bad luck; he gets criticized because he says things that make him seem like an *******. If his bitterness comes from bad experiences (and I haven't heard anything ALL that bad that's happened to him; being rejected by women or men is not exactly high tragedy that makes someone lash out even if they're a good person), whatevs, but he's not getting criticized for his bad experience; he's getting criticized for saying things that are offensive and annoying and obviously flawed premises to others.
Recommended Posts